17th July 2001, 1:15 PM
Join Date: Feb 2000
Re: boyfriend only interested in my money!!
YOU ASK: "what should i do?"
I think you should seek immediate psychological counselling. There is a serious reason why any person would give 90 percent of their hard earned money each week to a guy who doesn't pay it back. This sort of pathology requires immediate psyciatric intervention.
My guess is that you do this, not out of sincere generosity, but out of a base of low self-esteem that calls for you to give all you can to get or keep love. You've probably done things like this in the past and have lost lots of money. The ploy never works. You will surely lose not only your money but your boyfriend as well in this situation...and become a fool to boot.
Immediately, get your boyfriend to sign a promissory note for every dime he has borrowed. Let him start making payments. I also think you should notify your employer. A guy this desperate for money may be a risk for theft and other problems for the company.
I'm REALLY GETTING MAD NOW. Any guy who would borrow a almost ALL of a lady's paycheck each week and not pay it back as agreed is a user, abuser, psychopath, scam artist, thief, scumbag, etc. Furthermore, what is he using the money for??? I hope he isn't buying things for some other chick.
In any event, DON'T LOAN HIM ANOTHER DIME. If he refuses to sign a promissory note, see an attorney. You may have to take him to court to get a judgement and if he spends money so fast the judgement you get may be worthless.
Also, get him to give you his social security number. If he doesn't pay you back, you can see your accountant about giving him a 1099 at the end of the year for all this money he got from you. It's now income for him and HE, not YOU, should pay the income tax on it. Your accountant will help you get all the taxes back that you have paid on this money and shift the burden to him.
See a counsellor as quickly as possible to get to the roots of why you would be so generous to your detriment. Honestly, it's just not sane to sign over almost all of your pay check each week to a man for any reason at all. I don't want to hurt your feelings but this is really a far out thing to do. There are so many guys who will love you without you having to do this.
I can understand him borrowing a few dollars here or there. But this is bizarre.
Finally, I'm now furious so understand that's where I'm coming from. Break up with this guy now and go for him with a vengeance. What does he tell you when you ask for your money...or some payments???
Gawd, I just feel so awful for you because this is 90 percent YOUR FAULT. Continuing to do something on a weekly basis like this and continuing not to get repaid is.... I'm sure there are issues from the past that make you so gullible and eager to go far out of your way to help people.
There's an old saying, "Show me a guy who'll give you the shirt off his back and I'll show you 100 who will take it." Stop allowing yourself to be USED...to be a doormat.
You aren't making this up, are you?
I feel so sick now.