Dating question?

[Darren]

I recently went out on a date with this young woman whom I met a few weeks ago, hooked up with, and whom I've talked to over the phone everyday for the past week and a half.

 

I wasn't planning on going out with her so soon, fact i'm usually busy with work etc, but she asked me if she was going to see me soon, etc, so we set up a date.

 

We went to a nice restaurant, had good food, good conversation, and shared some laughs. I covered the bill and I did all the 'nice guy' things like opening the door for her, holding doors open, etc. We went back to my place later and we walked under the moon and talked about personal things and non personal things. It seemed to me the date was going well.

 

Later on we went back to my bedroom and started making out, kissing, bumping and grinding. And then we talked for a few more hours. She had to get up early the next morning to go to work and needed to get home. After some time, she told me she didn't want to leave, and we continued on with this pace for some time. Finally, I did take her home.

 

She seemed interested in me and I was interested in her. However, that was saturday night, and i left a message on sunday, to see how she was doing, etc.

 

She hasn't called back yet, it's been 4 days, and I really don't understand.

 

Should i start acting like my friend and be a jerk to everybody. I mean, the whole saying about jerks and nice guys, i've begun to realize is true. If my friend only convinced a few girls of this, i would buy it. But lets say about over 100 girls have been convinced by his lies.

 

And many of these girls are good, nice girls with futures. And they keep falling for him, and i know for a fact, he's hooking up with some other girl in the other room, when i'm on the phone with the other girl. And he treats them like dirt. Like hooking up with other girls in front of some of them, and on and on. I mean, he's a good friend, just a jerk to woman.

 

My question, i guess is, i respect womans wishes, and i've learned not to be a doormat over the years, but there still is that nice quality in me. Is it worth it to be nice or just be a total jerk full of crap, cause as of right now, the total jerk doesn't look so bad anymore to me....

 

Darren

[Tony T]

Remain just like you are.

 

And why would you want to have anything to do with a woman who doesn't return phone calls? That's really rude. I would give her one more call...and leave a message if she's not there...just to be sure she got it. Then I would forget her.

 

If your friend can screw over women and use them in good conscience, that's a reflection of his character. You have to be true to yourself.

 

There's lots of ways of being a challenge and getting your way with a lady other than playing around like your buddy.

 

I think you went way too far too soon with this lady. You left her absolutely nothing to be curious about and nothing more to look forward to. When you find a lady you really think you'll be into, take it slow and don't "bump and grind" on your first date and stay with her all night. I know you enjoyed yourself but all you were to her was a conquest.

 

It isn't over yet...she may give you another chance. I personally won't have anything to do with people who don't return my phone calls within a reasonable amount of time unless they have a very good reason.

[Em]

This is a problem that girls have across the globe. Guys always ask for your number, then never call, or wait so long to call that by the time they do, you're going out with someone else! It sucks that the one guy on earth who DOES call ends up dating someone who doesn't deserve him.

 

It does sound odd that she hasn't called back in 4 days. Perhaps she's playing the phone game - you know, don't call back for a week because then he'll think you're desperate. But it sounds like your relationship is beyond this point. An obvious answer is that perhaps she never got the message? Answering machines ##### up all the time. I would suggest calling her once more, at a time when you KNOW she'll be home, and see how it goes. If you get the machine, just leave a brief message and let her know that it's her move. If she still doesn't call back, then obviously that's the end of the relationship. If she answers, then maybe youll get an explanation as to why she hasn't called.

 

Sweety, don't give up just yet! I don't know any girl who would date a jerk instead of a nice guy, doormat or not. The problem might not be YOU, but the girls you are dating. Instead of changing your own personality, how about dating girls you wouldn't have considered going out with before, or at least ones who dont have the self esteem problems that attract them to wankers? I know that some young and inexperienced girls have a thing for 'bad boys', but once they have been out with them, they learn their lesson and settle down with a nice guy.

 

Good luck. And remember, as dismal as your lovelife looks at the moment, nice guys ALWAYS win in the end.