Caring

[lb]

Can a person be to caring and annoying????? Ive been dating this guy for 5 months now always calls me when he gets home whether its from work, or a night out with his friends. When he doesnt call, I get so worried and upset that something happened to him, I know he can take care of himself but I just get worried that I call him and page him till I get a hold of him. I know its annoying but I cant help myself. I care for this guy alot and Im just wondering if hes flattered that I care or is it annoying him? I dont want to push him away for being a worry wort

[Tony T]

It can be either depending on the person.

 

To be too predictable, such as when you touch base every day at the same time, can absolutely destroy a relationship. It's real nice for a while but eventually, yes, it's gets very annoying.

 

What you are showing him...the way he is seeing this...is one or more of the following:that you are keeping tabs on him; that you worry too much; that you are too dependent on him; that you are too clingy; that you don't have anything else going in your life; that if he ever married you, you would be very controlling and have him constantly under your thumb.

 

There has to be some reason for this obsessiveness. While it's extremely nice to call someone every day to see if they made it home safely, do you call him to see if he got home from the store ok??? Do you call him at work to see if he arrived OK? I mean you could even call him to see if he is regular or not.

 

Back off. He will absolutely go insane and love you 100 times more if you QUIT calling. While the calls are probably VERY annoying to him, anytime somebody abruptly stops anything...even something annoying...it arouses a lot of curiosity.

 

If you called or paged me everyday to be sure I got home from work OK, I would appreciate your caring but I would also break up with you. Guys don't like anything that is real predictable and they don't respect a lady who goes way out of her way on a very regular basis to check up on him.

 

I had to get rid of my pager because I began to automatically shout obsenities when it went off, no matter where I was. They are aggravating, no matter who they're from after a while.

 

Stop worrying and stop this stuff NOW. Don't ever page him again unless he asks you to or it's an emergency. Let him contact YOU!!!

 

And if he didn't get home OK, what could you do about it that professional medical, mechanical or others couldn't do better?

[ladypenelope]

I think it's definitely possible to care so much that it gets annoying for the other person. Just recently I learned this the hard way, as I lost an amazing friendship by caring too much. I was never in a relationship with this guy, but I was very much in love with him, and worried about him all the time. At the start he was really good about it, and very accepting, but after a while it became too much for him, and now we hardly speak. I miss him more than anything, but I can't help caring so much.

 

Sorry I can't offer you any better advice, but I know how you feel.