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What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"


Archive A collection of the original messages posted on LoveShack.org's LoveTalk Forum from 1997-2001.

Old 1st December 2000, 8:44 PM   #1
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What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you?

How do you interprete the things men say?
 
Old 1st December 2000, 9:34 PM   #2
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Re: What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

Let me answer your second question first. In affairs of love, when it comes to certain things both men and women find it very hard to speak there mind exactly...which leads me to the answer to your first question.

"When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you?"

Sometimes, if a guy feels his lady is fearful of being hurt by him at some point, he will say this to give her reassurance that her position with him is tight and there's nothing to worry about.

However, when a guy you've been involved with for a while says this, it's usually an indication of what he's been thinking. He cares enough about you not to want to hurt you, but he may still want to move on with his life...minus the relationship.

Nobody likes to hurt anyone but there's usually no way around it. Most decent people go through immense pain knowing they must hurt another person in order to carry on the way they need to. Whether you are the dumpor or the dumpee, break ups are just plain unpleasant and painful.

If a guy tells you he doesn't want to hurt you, this is most likely a sign that a break up is imminent or he is giving the relationship some serious review and is leaning toward its termination.

For an excellent book on interpreting the words and behavior of men, read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" by John Gray, Ph.D. It's a good book to help men figure out women as well, if that is possible.
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Old 1st December 2000, 9:54 PM   #3
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Re: What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

Well, its not only guys who say "I don't want to hurt you." My girlfriend gave me the very same line this morning! I would say that he is probably afraid he does not care for you as much as he thinks you care for him. I agree with Tony in that it usually means that he may be reevaluating the relationship, and it may not be worth it for him to continue.

Guys usually say what they mean... I do anyways...
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When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you? How do you interprete the things men say?
 
Old 2nd December 2000, 3:28 AM   #4
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Re: What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

When a guy says that to you, he does mean he doesn't want to hurt you. no one wants to hurt someone they're involved with. the only thing missing from this sentence 99% of the time is the word "but". that is, "i don't want to hurt you, but....".

it's not easy to hear someone say they don't want to hurt you, but i would have to agree with tony and taughtmepatience that it more often than not means that something is on his mind, like a break-up or moving on his life without a partner.

if a guy KNEW they weren't going to hurt you, or were very sure they wanted the relationship and the love with you, you'd most likely hear something like, "i'm not going to hurt you" or "i will never hurt you".

someone saying they "don't want to hurt you" (be it guy or girl), doesn't mean however they don't love you. they may love you deeply but for some reason, a relationship is not what they're looking for at this time of their life. there could be a number of reasons.

talk to him and ask him what he meant by that comment. it could have been an ambiguous comment, but while it is on your mind and worrying you, ask him what he meant by it instead of trying to guess. you'll feel a lot better when you know what he means and where you stand in his life.

by the way, you don't need to 'interprete' what men say. that will drive you crazy!!! the easiest way is to just simply ask what they meant and to tell you honestly.
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When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you? How do you interprete the things men say?
 
Old 4th December 2000, 4:50 AM   #5
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Re: What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

Quote:
When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you? How do you interprete the things men say?
he loves you alright but he feels sme time apart wuold do you good but mostly what he means is that he wants space

and he is realy hurt thats if he says it with payn in his

eyes if not he wants another girl or just attention
 
Old 4th December 2000, 11:27 AM   #6
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Re: What does a guy mean when he says "I don't want to hurt you?"

My experience with anyone who says "I don't want to hurt you," is "Watch out, here comes the bombshell." They know what they say will hurt and there is no way around it, so they say, "I don't want to hurt you." They are also trying to alleviate their own guilt about what they want to tell you.

They can then feel good about themselves when they hurt you because they at least said they didn't want to hurt you. They can be "the nice guy" instead of The Grim Reaper.
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When a guy says he doesn't want to hurt you and you've been involved with him does it mean he really doesn't love you? How do you interprete the things men say?
 
 

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