Discipline?

[lilmoma1973]

OK here i have a ? in refrence to the post why not to hit kids.. I understand that some think spanking is ok and some think that there is another way of going about it!!! What do you do when your kid and her friends vandalize your car by writing and drawing with sticks ? Punishment and taking things aways don't work so what to do? This happen to a friend of mine and she called the parent and left a detailed message what had happened and yet has got a returned call... Do you think she needs to call the cops?She dOESN'T want no money or charges and she is yet to get a returned call and don't know what to do..DOES this even seem that the parents don't care and that they are saying oh well...My friend on numerous occasions have kept an eye on these neighbor kids to make sure they aren't running the neighborhood!!They can't afford daycare she does it to help them out !!! She is acquantiances and was surprized that they acting this way!!

MY friend has taken things that they love from her kids and come to the conclusion that spanking is what works and send message that you won't do that again!! She has punished and taken things aways from her kids and she found that wooping ass does the trick !! She said that is what is wrong with kids today "No DISCIPLINE"!!!

[Outcast]

It is not just about 'taking things away'. It's about taking the things the kids want MOST away for long enough that the kids are really inconvenienced or bothered. I'll bet you a billion dollars that she isn't consistent; says she'll ground the kid but will still drive her to a game or something.

 

When we had the kids, we'd tell them 'if you do X, the consequence will be no (whatever their favourite thing was) for (specified period of time - from a whole evening to a whole weekend to a whole week if necessary). And stuck to it.

 

No matter how much kid pleaded or whined or promised to never do it again, kid still had to pay the penalty that had been levied.

 

Next time out, reminded the kid 'now if you do X, remember the consequences will be (repeat)'. Kid knew better than to do X again.

 

You absolutely must take away the thing the kid values most and you must enforce it for a long time. Vandalizing cars should have earned grounding for one solid month - NO phone calls either. Plus being made to work for the person whose car was vandalized to pay off the injury.

'Taking something away' certainly was not appropriate punishment for that level of misbehaviour.

[lilmoma1973]

 

She is consistant on her kids behavors and her 9 yr old is grounded for a month,no outside and video games for a month these are her favorite things she likes to do ..She just said whoopping ass will be her alternative from now on!! She doesn't like to spank but she feels that the spanking works better!! Depending on what the kids have done .. The little things will be taking away the things they love.. She wonders will these kids get a punishment at all or just get by with it!! Atleast she has done the right thing by making her child pay for damaging property!!She said that her daughter told her the reason she did it was she didn't think you was going to keep it .. It isn't running now but a pretty decent looking car an Acura top of the line not sure what exact model!! So she thought it would be fine!! Thanks for your advice and i appreciate it and will pass it on..