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16 year old boy, 18 year old girl??


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Old 20th June 2005, 9:55 PM   #1
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16 year old boy, 18 year old girl??

Hey everyone - just need a little input. My husband just ran into this 17 year old girl who our son knows of, she'll be 18 around the end of summer. She talked about how cute he was and apparently my DH gave our # to her thinking it'd be great if they went out on a date sometime. Our son just turned 16 last month and is going into his junior year; I'm pretty sure this girl has already graduated.

So there's almost a 2 year age difference, plus girls mature faster than boys... so, is this really a good idea to give him permission to date her? I told him he is practically condoning sex. He said "To be honest I don't think it'd be that big of a deal if he had sex at his age." I replied "So you're condoning it?" .....And what happens when she turns 18 - there are laws against that (if there is sex involved). He is on probation, and even though nothing would probably ever come of it, I still don't think the age difference is something that should be taken lightly. If he was 18 and she almost 20 then hey, they'd both be adults, but this is not the case. My husband is SOOO strict about anything else that could get him into trouble, yet not being concerned about the possibility of his involvement with an adult when he is only 16.... what do you guys think?
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Old 22nd June 2005, 12:19 AM   #2
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My first girlfriend was 18 and I was still 16, but it never involved sex.

That's a tough one, and I'm only 18, but I'll try to answer it...

Yes, girls DO mature faster than boys, but that doesn't mean she'll become more interested in sex. It's the boys who normally have the much higher sex drives. Do you really know this girl?

As for your son, I don't know him. You said he was on probation, so my first thought is that he's a troublemaker (sorry if this isn't true! ). What is he on probation for? If it is, this raises a question... "Can you trust him?" Does he know the consequences? It DOES sound like he's condoning it.

Secondly, there's a reason why I hate politics and law (well, not HATE law, just not interested). It's because of the stupid laws like this that we have. "An agreeable sexual relationship that involves one person under 18 is considered rape." [b]I JUST WANT SCREAM IT OUT!!b] I think this is the law, correct me if I'm wrong. SO WHAT if one is 18 and the other isn't? If they both agree on it, it's not rape!

Anyways, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I know that sex isn't something that parent's encourage kids to have at young ages, lol!
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Old 22nd June 2005, 1:12 AM   #3
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What is he on probation for?
Minor in possession (of liquor) - dumb, I know. He doesn't have any problems with drinking, just did something stupid and is now paying the price. He's far more trustworthy now than he was when he did that, but I don't know how much I would trust him if alone with any girl he's dating. No, I don't know this girl or anything about her really, I'm just not really liking the age difference, minor as some people may think it is. I'm not trying to be a hard-a$$, but I feel like he should be dating girls closer to his age...
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Old 22nd June 2005, 1:17 AM   #4
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There's nothing wrong with the age difference. In fact, that's NOTHING! I remember in Grade 10, girls were having sexual relationships with guys in their mid-20's. There's even one girl I know now who's my age and dating a 27 year old.

It's common for guys to be dating people in 2 year age difference, at least in my area.
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Old 22nd June 2005, 1:24 AM   #5
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Yes but remember, this is an older girl (who will be legally an adult soon) with a younger boy. The high school relationships you mentioned were girls with older guys, which seems to be more common. Maturity levels seem to be closer than the other way around. Then I have the probation issue to wonder about and if that could affect him negatively in any way...
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Old 22nd June 2005, 1:26 AM   #6
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No actually, it's the older guys with the younger girls.

Maybe the probation thing will affect him negatively, I don't know. You'll just have to find that out for yourself. It's not age that's the problem, it's the maturity level.
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Old 22nd June 2005, 2:39 AM   #7
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No actually, it's the older guys with the younger girls.
I know, that's what I said... girls with older guys... the reverse of my situation. Anyway, I think your right - maturity level may be more important here than age.
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Old 22nd June 2005, 3:55 AM   #8
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No big deal

When I was 18 I dated a 16 year old.

I don't know how the law is in your state, but in mine you can legally have sex with someone under 18 as long as the person is over 16 and you are not over 21.

Example: 19 year old can sleep with 16 year old.
22 year old can NOT sleep with 17 year old.

I think this is a reasonable law.

I think your son will be fine

Anyway, at this age there are just as many horny 16 year old girls as are 18 year olds. You just have to trust your son and trust your husbands judgment in this 18 year old girl.
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Old 22nd June 2005, 12:27 PM   #9
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I agree completely. By the way, XNemesisX, what state do you live in?
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Old 22nd June 2005, 1:16 PM   #10
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I don't think the age difference is a big deal, I dated a 19 year old when I was 16. I think your son will be fine. If you son wants to have sex, he's going to have sex whether he's dating this 18 year old girl or a 15 year old girl. Be happy he's still a virgin at 16(if he is) most guys these days lose it when they turn 13 yrs.
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Old 22nd June 2005, 2:41 PM   #11
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CALI PENAL CODE

PENAL CODE
SECTION 261-269

261.5. (a) Unlawful sexual intercourse is an act of sexual
intercourse accomplished with a person who is not the spouse of the
perpetrator, if the person is a minor.

For the purposes of this section, a "minor" is a person
under the age of 18 years and an "adult" is a person
who is at least 18 years of age.


(b) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual
intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years
older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is
guilty of a misdemeanor.

(c) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual
intercourse with a minor who is more than three years younger than
the perpetrator is guilty of either a misdemeanor or a felony, and
shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one
year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.[b]
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Old 22nd June 2005, 4:03 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sparky
I agree completely. By the way, XNemesisX, what state do you live in?
I live in Kentucky~
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