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GFs kid lied and disrepected me


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Old 27th November 2017, 12:57 PM   #106
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Regardless the reason for her eating or intake, she should be helped to get through this by replacing with a better way of dealing with the lack of fulfillment.

I continue to suggest keeping nourishing low calorie snacks for her in the refrigerator such as raw vegetables, salads, soups.
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Old 29th November 2017, 5:54 PM   #107
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Read up on eating disorders. Join an eating disorder forum and ask questions. Learn all you can about it and possibly talk to your gf about doing family counseling (all of you go together) and also for your gf daughter to get professional help. None of this is going to get easier as time goes on if there's no outside help.
Thank you. I have done a lot of reading on this the last few days as well as having candid conversations with GF. This is a real challenge, I mean undoing bad habits, dealing with whatever issues are going on inside and crap food is everywhere - especially around the holidays so it requires real will power.

Her mom has her seeing a therapist (they have an appointment tonight actually).

Thank you for a real, non bull****, response!
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Old 29th November 2017, 6:06 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by UpwardForward View Post
Regardless the reason for her eating or intake, she should be helped to get through this by replacing with a better way of dealing with the lack of fulfillment.

I continue to suggest keeping nourishing low calorie snacks for her in the refrigerator such as raw vegetables, salads, soups.
I agree. Its tough because her mom usually doesn't buy crap food but there is always a party, birthday or holiday and the girl loves to bake.

I have noticed a lot of excess and by that I mean the girl wants to bake / bring something for "everyone". Half of which comes home as left over. For my birthday she made 3 cakes. Obviously its up to her mom (and I) to put a limit on this.
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Old 13th December 2017, 3:39 AM   #109
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Originally Posted by Otter2569 View Post
Thank you. I have done a lot of reading on this the last few days as well as having candid conversations with GF. This is a real challenge, I mean undoing bad habits, dealing with whatever issues are going on inside and crap food is everywhere - especially around the holidays so it requires real will power.

Her mom has her seeing a therapist (they have an appointment tonight actually).

Thank you for a real, non bull****, response!
You're welcome.

This is a long and painful process, for her and for everybody in the household. I hope the therapy goes well and that the therapist suggests an eating disorder clinic too, not just regular therapy.

My friends daughter choked while eating and weeks after that she was terrified of eating and choking again so she stopped eating. Many many months (actually close to 2 years and plus a stint in an eating disorder clinic) her life is almost back to normal. what is learned can be unlearned, it just takes a lot of patience and hard work.
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Old 13th December 2017, 11:15 AM   #110
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It's okay to lock up the food, put a lock on the fridge (her mother). I know of several people who have done this for their children with food issues. When you are gone you cannot expect her to be able to control herself. It's like putting drugs in front of an addict and telling them not to take any or you will be mad. Does you being mad outweigh the good feeling food gives her while she is eating? Certainly not. If she needs that fix it doesn't matter if it's healthy protein bars or a box of twinkies, she's going to eat them all if not checked, because chewing food and feeling full is comforting and safe.

I have struggled with food forever. Food makes me feel good and safe and comfortable. I've gotten better now, but I still cannot keep trigger foods in the house. It is very easy to convince myself that it's okay to eat a whole box of cookies, because I will make up for it by not eating anything tomorrow. And I'm 42 years old, a 13 year old isn't capable of controlling and rationalizing her need to have that satisfied feeling she gets from food.
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Old 18th December 2017, 4:50 PM   #111
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Originally Posted by startingagain15 View Post
It's okay to lock up the food, put a lock on the fridge (her mother). I know of several people who have done this for their children with food issues. When you are gone you cannot expect her to be able to control herself. It's like putting drugs in front of an addict and telling them not to take any or you will be mad. Does you being mad outweigh the good feeling food gives her while she is eating? Certainly not. If she needs that fix it doesn't matter if it's healthy protein bars or a box of twinkies, she's going to eat them all if not checked, because chewing food and feeling full is comforting and safe.

I have struggled with food forever. Food makes me feel good and safe and comfortable. I've gotten better now, but I still cannot keep trigger foods in the house. It is very easy to convince myself that it's okay to eat a whole box of cookies, because I will make up for it by not eating anything tomorrow. And I'm 42 years old, a 13 year old isn't capable of controlling and rationalizing her need to have that satisfied feeling she gets from food.
It is OK to lock up food from one's self ... But not to lock or block access to food from/by others.
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