OvernightParent Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 I am not a parent. Not biologically at least. A few months ago, I randomly met a teen who had (somewhat abruptly) lost her mother to Leukemia. I found out that she grew up without knowing who her father was and had absolutely zero support from her remote extended family. When she told me she lost her mom's house to foreclosure (as she couldn't work enough hours to make mortgage payments while she was in high school) and was sleeping in a nearby family's love chair (not even a couch) I realized she was homeless. I didn't truly understand how bad her situation was until I saw her with no jacket/coat in a bitter cold freezing winter weather. She told me she was walking almost an hour to get to her job and had a $40 monthly grocery budget. $40! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The more I asked, the more I realized how dire the situation was. She was sleeping with clothes on (as she didn't have a blanket to keep her warm) in a house where the 'adult of the house' was demanding (with physical 'do you want me to hit you' threats) every penny she was making from her $7/hr part-time job. All this poor girl had was a box of her mother's ashes and a few belongings. The situation was so surreal I couldn't believe it at first... until I saw the death certificate and realized it was a true (and very sad) story. I've never felt that compelled to help someone before. So I took this kid under my wings. Got her a winter coat and a pair of boots to wear (yes, you guessed it - she only had one pair of old, non-waterproof sneakers). Helped her apply for a free government phone so she can at least call me in emergencies. When I asked why she hadn't applied for food stamps before, she said she did but didn't have transportation to go to the (required) volunteering place. When she told me she had to use pliers to manually remove her own braces (because she didn't have the money to go back to the dentist after her mother died) I could barely hold back my tears. Clearly overwhelmed, this kid (who had become an orphan practically overnight) was left to her own devices with absolutely no clue (or life knowledge) on how to get out of the hole she was in. She was helpless. Absolutely helpless. When I reached out to the university her mom had attended before she passed away (to get her a posthumous degree) she saw the e-mail I wrote (that summarized her unfortunate situation) and started sobbing uncontrollably. All the bottled emotions came out. It was absolutely heart breaking. One of the saddest thing I've seen in my entire life. She later told me her mom was studying for her classes even in her hospital bed and she was spending most of her high school time in a hospital (by her mom's side), trying to learn how to change her mom's medical tubes. Of course, during that turmoil, her GPA plummeted, ruining her chances for a college education. The family must have been struggling (even before mom passed) as this kid had nothing. I desperately wanted to help but as an 'overnight dad' I didn't know much, like how to get a bra or underwear. She didn't know any of her sizes (as all she had was from Goodwill) so I couldn't order things online. Ended up renting a car and taking her to shopping in person instead. We got her a few items and dress pants and within a few weeks, she got a second part-time job (that require her to take two busses ... but still). Unfortunately, upon seeing her new winter coat, the 'Cinderella mother' tried to extort more money from her and when she didn't get it, threatened the kid and told her (with some faked document) she will be kicked out in 3 days. Couldn't believe it. Who does that to an orphan, in the middle of winter? Luckily, before the 3 day was up, we found her a new apartment (only a shady apartment complex would approve her with her limited income ... but it was still better than being homeless in the cold) and hired some CL guy to help her move. I tried to be a decent 'remote dad' (as I don't live in the same state), ordering her a bed, chair, comforter, etc. so she can feel like a human being ... but trying to get things done via public transportation (bus that doesn't run after 5pm or on Sundays) was challenging for her. So I decided to take 7-8 days off from my schedule and drive 2 states just to buy her groceries (3 months worth) so that she can stop skipping meals. While I was there, I took her to the DMV to get her a driver's license as well. What a great kid. Passed the written test (without prep) in one day and driving test the next (even though she only had 30 minutes practice with a rental car). She was very happy that she could at least rent a car now. So I came back home and ordered her some SAT books from eBay along with a mobile internet access (so she could motivate herself by looking at colleges online and then study using online resources) but it has been bothering me that her second job starts in 15 days and she does not have a way to get back home from that job, as there are no buses after 5pm and it is a rural area with no Uber/Lyft. So I had no option but to apply for a auto loan today (got approved) even though I don't have a car myself and certainly don't have money to buy a car for someone else. Having said that, as a human being, I simply can't sit back and watch this tragedy. I wish I had more help though. I am doing my best so that this kid can turn her life around, realizing how tough it is to be a single parent. Bravo to all the single parents. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 That's nice of you to help her out but are you sure she's able to rent a car at her age? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Bravo to all the single parents. And specifically, kudos to you. It's easy to look at a situation and say "this person needs help", whole different thing to be willing to get involved and provide the assistance. Hopefully, she'll be in a position some day to pay your kindness forward. Since you're in different states, how did you meet her? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OvernightParent Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 I am trying to buy her a used car now (during which I've realized people have zero compassion) so she doesn't get kidnapped or raped while walking in the cold streets. Apparently it was attempted 3 times already. Cold ugly world we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 How about a go fund me account ? To help her and you get the car Link to post Share on other sites
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