LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Familial > Parenting

Will this be the road to estrangement... [UPDATED 2017]


Parenting Discuss tips, concerns, and all the mayhem involved in raising kids.

Like Tree212Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 1st November 2017, 8:39 PM   #196
Established Member
 
jnel921's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 839
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hecan View Post
I would not wish your situation on anyone !!! But I have say reading through your posts it appears that you have allowed her behavior to bring yours down to her level but you are the adult. I can't say I would respond better but please consider getting help yourself. Your responses indicate you have lost the handle on yourself as well. A very sad situation.
Please get help. You are no help to her or yourself ..
Yes Hecan,

Its been tough and yes I have been to therapy. Right now she wants to be at home but she wants to be selfish and I cant do that. I told her not to expect much from me if this is the way she wants to do this.
__________________
When life gives you lemons...make lemonade.
jnel921 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th November 2017, 12:33 PM   #197
Established Member
 
jnel921's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 839
Update...

My D asked to meet with us 2 weeks ago and apologized for her behavior and asked to come home. We had a long conversation and came to a certain agreement that could work in both our favors.

Right now she has been home for a few days and I don't feel the same peace I did when she was not here. She has already told us some lies and we wanted to speak to her BF to be clear about our house rules and her use of our car. We scheduled 2 meetings but he bailed on both. It seems he wants her to be his taxi and we aren't having that being he doesn't care to be in our presence. She had the car for 3 days and drove 128 miles total. when we asked where she went she said she went nowhere. Now we will limit her car use to just work.

I have not made any promises to her. I do want to see how this plays out. If she can respect and be responsible. I feel she is missing the mark most times. Not by much, but she is. I guess I can interpret this as trying but I have yet to feel like it will be smooth sailing.
jnel921 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th November 2017, 5:27 PM   #198
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,867
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnel921 View Post
My D asked to meet with us 2 weeks ago and apologized for her behavior and asked to come home. We had a long conversation and came to a certain agreement that could work in both our favors.

Right now she has been home for a few days and I don't feel the same peace I did when she was not here. She has already told us some lies and we wanted to speak to her BF to be clear about our house rules and her use of our car. We scheduled 2 meetings but he bailed on both. It seems he wants her to be his taxi and we aren't having that being he doesn't care to be in our presence. She had the car for 3 days and drove 128 miles total. when we asked where she went she said she went nowhere. Now we will limit her car use to just work.

I have not made any promises to her. I do want to see how this plays out. If she can respect and be responsible. I feel she is missing the mark most times. Not by much, but she is. I guess I can interpret this as trying but I have yet to feel like it will be smooth sailing.
It's nice that you're giving your daughter another chance. Of course you're being cautious given what she has done in the past.

Does your daughter pay for gas or any other automobile related expenses? If so, do her adult contributions mean anything in terms of her freedoms with your car? What mileage is acceptable in your eyes? Your daughter should be saving up for her own car if she wants to drive wherever she wants.

If your daughter is missing the mark, then boundaries and consequences need to be expressed again.
BettyDraper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 12:25 PM   #199
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 57,523
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnel921 View Post
My D asked to meet with us 2 weeks ago and apologized for her behavior and asked to come home. We had a long conversation and came to a certain agreement that could work in both our favors.

Right now she has been home for a few days and I don't feel the same peace I did when she was not here. She has already told us some lies and we wanted to speak to her BF to be clear about our house rules and her use of our car. We scheduled 2 meetings but he bailed on both. It seems he wants her to be his taxi and we aren't having that being he doesn't care to be in our presence. She had the car for 3 days and drove 128 miles total. when we asked where she went she said she went nowhere. Now we will limit her car use to just work.

I have not made any promises to her. I do want to see how this plays out. If she can respect and be responsible. I feel she is missing the mark most times. Not by much, but she is. I guess I can interpret this as trying but I have yet to feel like it will be smooth sailing.
It's a good start on some level. Of course trust has to be rebuilt and she has to try her best to earn your trust and stop lying. Just take it day by day and hope for the best and maybe don't expect too much too soon.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Married + Baby boy but going to hookers Weekly! [updated 2017] linqer Marriage & Life Partnerships 253 30th January 2017 3:51 PM
Now I know what it feels like... [UPDATED 2017] RegretfulOM Infidelity 220 17th January 2017 1:32 PM
I don't want but I think I'll block him forever first day of 2017 jo-ol Coping 4 26th December 2016 4:12 PM
Estrangement all_cats_rgray Family 8 23rd March 2014 4:17 AM
Dying family member and estrangement tornandconfused12 Family 4 23rd November 2012 5:07 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:35 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.