Grapesofwrath Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I am seeking advice on a decision I have to make for this summer. I have two sons, ages 12 and 10. I am divorced from their father, and we share 50/50 custody. They both play on competitive travel baseball teams. Every weekend this summer is occupied with tournaments for them. This is their third year playing, and I have always arranged to make sure they are present for every tournament, deferring family vacations for that priority. This year, our family has two important events: My father's 80th birthday and my 50th birthday. I took the boys on a trip last week for their grandfather's 80th and we had a lovely holiday. They missed some baseball, however, and my older son did not play in his tournament upon returning, possibly because he wasn't at practice during the week. Later in July, I am planning a trip for us to celebrate my 50th (and my son's 11th.) The younger boy is concerned about missing baseball for this trip and doesn't want his team to lose because he isn't there. His father is fueling those concerns and does not support the idea of a trip for my 50th. (For his 50th, he went to Turkey for 3 weeks and the boys stayed with me, which was great!) I choose instead to have the trip with them. It's hard to move the dates of the trip because the lodging is provided only during those certain days. Am I being selfish in taking them on a trip, having them miss baseball, so I can celebrate my 50th? What would be a better solution? If I go without them, we don't get to celebrate those birthdays together. If we don't go at all, I know I will feel resentful that my 50th birthday was basically ignored so they could play baseball. Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Maybe left field perspective here since i have no kids but i did resent and still do resent some of my parent's selfish choices. Your young sons will resent you for much longer if you deny them what they practice and work hard for (assuming the 11 year old's tournament is an important one) than you'll resent them for not wanting to join your travel birthday. Can't you leave the boys to play and go enjoy 50 with your friends? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 It's pee wee baseball. Not the world series. Take your kids on a trip. They will remember that a lot longer and more fondly than some game they missed. Some parents get way too crazy about kids sports in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 I don't know if it's an adequate comparison, but when my daughter was 11 or 12, she was training as an elite gymnast and we booked two weeks in Orlando. I found an elite gym for her to train during our holiday so she could keep up, at least, with her fitness and flexibility. A meet was scheduled for the weekend following our intended return, but we decided to extend our vacation for an extra week. It was hell for her to miss that meet at the time. She was not happy with us at all and fought us tooth and nail...crying and wailing...but the decision was made. She did end up enjoying the extended holiday in the warm weather and sunshine. She's 25 now and she's glad to have the memories of that special family time together. Link to post Share on other sites
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