Neighbors frequently leave two small children home alone

[blackcat777]

My neighbors have three small children, I'm guessing between ages 1-4. These kids scream bloody murder for hours at a time, almost every other day. Note that I am surrounded by kids in my apartment - I've rented from house owners with small children - the intensity and frequency of noises from this specific unit is far. from. normal... at least in my experience. These aren't average bedtime tantrums.

 

At first, I wondered if the kids were special needs, but I have seen them play outside and I don't think they are...

 

First big tipoff that something could be amiss:

 

The laundry for my building is right outside my door, and while doing laundry, I consequently can see my neighbors' door. One day, while I was doing laundry, a police officer showed up and knocked on their door. Neighbors opened the door through a chain but didn't let him in.

 

The officer kept saying in a firm but gentle voice - speaking simply and clearly addressing children - "If you ever need help, call 911. If someone hurts you, call 911. Call 911 for help."

 

 

The second red flag that caught my attention is that the screaming stops whenever an adult returns home. I am pretty sure one reason these kids are wailing because ALL THE ADULTS IN THE HOUSE LEAVE, turn on the TV, and lock the kids inside.

 

Never, ever, EVER have I heard an adult present during these hours-long screamathons. And I can hear when they are home and shouting dismissively at the kids.

 

Well. Today the screaming started up again, so I spied from the peephole in my door. Kids got hysterical because mom was leaving. I just watched the mom lock two of them inside and take the oldest out with her. The two kids inside, again, SCREAMED bloody murder.

 

Oldest kid ran back into the apartment and unlocked the door, two little ones ran out. The mom screamed, "Why did you let them out?!" (Not sure if he stole mom's keys or what?)

 

Oldest kid then beat up one of the smaller kids and forced him back into the apartment... right in front of mom... mom said nothing. He punched and shoved the younger one.

 

The mom locked them inside and screaming started up immediately again.

 

It's about every other day I hear extreme screaming and crying, extreme defined by an hour or more, full on screams at top volume.

 

The screaming went on today for about half an hour, until... the dad came home.

 

My boyfriend heard the landlord make a remark to the previous tenant in our unit about how the people next door were terrible people (didn't specify how).

 

I'm kind of wondering if an anonymous phone call to somewhere is the way to go the next time these very small children are locked alone inside a house... I'm worried about these kids...

 

I don't want to get up in anybody's business, but I'm seeing a steady pattern of red flags and it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

[jen1447]

If you're sure about all the specifics, notify the police. Not getting in someone's business doesn't really stack up to children being abused, which is what this abandonment amounts to. And forget about anonymity.

 

Sounds like the best thing that could happen to these kids is CPS and foster care.

[amaysngrace]

You need to make that call. She's endangering the welfare of those children and you may feel bad about calling but if something tragic happens to one of them you'll feel ten times worse.

 

Help them. Make that call.

[carhill]

Also, OP, you can take a look at your lease and see what is addressed in it and suggest methods for the landlord to use the lease as leverage. My SFH leases address minors on the premises and disturbing the peace, as examples. However, if the person you're referring to as the 'landlord' is in fact the manager of the building and not the owner, they might have to kick it higher up to get anything done from that standpoint.

 

Persistence usually works. Document, document, document.

 

TBH, at my age, much as I love kids, I've seen the gamut and, well, we can't save the world. Sometimes things just are bad. Do what you can and let it go.

[blackcat777]

Thanks everyone... I will definitely take some notes on the situation.

 

One of the things that made me hesitate before is that I'd HATE to be wrong (this is a big stone to throw), but things just keep getting weirder and more awful.

 

I am going to see what can be done anonymously first. I talked to my boyfriend last night. He agreed, but is concerned about potential retaliation... you just never know what people are capable of. (I had a bad experience in the fall with harassment from an off-the-hinges narcissistic boss after I quit.)

[amaysngrace]

I don't think you have to prove anything. That's CPS's job. You just need to report reasonable suspicion and they'll investigate.

 

I don't think CPS can identify you to the parents. I think they need to keep their sources confidential but you can always ask and explain your concern about retaliation.

 

I'm glad you decided to intervene on behalf of those little ones. Good job!

[jen1447]

Yeah, you wouldn't likely even be a complainant. What would probably happen is you'd report your suspicions to the police (I'm assuming one day when they were gone and the kids were home screaming next door), they'd come out and look, get no answer at the door, and make entry based on reasonable concern for the immediate welfare of the kids. Then they'd find no parents present and after that it's off to the races w/bscly nothing to do w/you. And if they showed up and it turns out a parent or some other adult was there - fine, now you know.

 

This is potentially serious business bc a 1 year old supervised by a 4 year old is bscly in jeopardy of literally dying at any time.

[Timshel]

Hi blackcat, agree with other posters that this should be reported. In the state of FL it is a felony to NOT report. You certainly have enough circumstantial information to alert CPS.

Being wary of possible retaliation is understandable...it reads that you all are in somewhat close quarters.

 

I would approach the landlord/management directly, give them the information that you have shared here and insist that CPS is contacted with strong emphasis on moral and potentially litigious consequences.

 

So glad that there are people like you blackcat, keeping an eye out. It is sad to say but truthfully, these can be life/death choices and you are not looking the other way.

Thank you.

[RedPressST]

You can wait until the screaming starts and call 911 for a "well check"... This is a not-quite-emergent, but not a "when ya got time" call for a police officer to pound on the door, potentially break it down, and talk with whom ever is inside. If only young children are inside, the officer will likely not leave until a social worker shows up and parents can be identified.

 

Other than well checks, where only the specific current situation is an obvious issue, I have had no luck calling police for neglectful parenting. I have been fully identified to the person I reported, I have been accused of being a terrible person for calling on a family member, and I've been discouraged when others didn't call on my own family as a child.

 

Other than a well check, I would suggest waiting for 9-5 Monday through friday, and calling the local DHS or CPS office and detailing exactly what you see and hear. we've all heard horror stories of children being wrongfully taken, but what you don't hear about are the 10000s of children appropriately taken, the 1000s of parents appropriately taught how to better care for their children, and the 1000s of Children who die because of ignorant or negligent parenting.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't think you have to prove anything. That's CPS's job. You just need to report reasonable suspicion and they'll investigate.

 

I don't think CPS can identify you to the parents. I think they need to keep their sources confidential but you can always ask and explain your concern about retaliation.

 

I'm glad you decided to intervene on behalf of those little ones. Good job!

 

I found the source of a complaint about me to CPS.

 

Yeah, they weren't that bright or confidential. So try anonymously if you can.

[Mr. Lucky]

Thanks everyone... I will definitely take some notes on the situation.

 

One of the things that made me hesitate before is that I'd HATE to be wrong (this is a big stone to throw), but things just keep getting weirder and more awful.

 

If you really think two kids under 4 years old are being left alone, how could you not act ?

 

The next time you see the adults leave, tear the address label off a piece of unwanted mail and knock on their door as though you thought it might be theirs. You'd have answers pretty quickly...

 

Mr. Lucky

[d0nnivain]

As bad as you might feel if you are wrong, imagine how much worse you will feel if you RIGHT but do nothing & something happens to one of those kids.

 

 

Please make that call.

[Methodical]

Call 911, tell them you hear small children screaming, you think one may be hurt and you think they are alone. The police can check it out and notify CPS. Worst case scenario, you were trying to be helpful and by doing so, you'll ultimately be protecting the children.

[Gemma1]

I couldn't have witnessed this even one time without calling the cops. I don't understand why you didn't call the cops the day she let one of her children abuse the other and then left the little ones alone? Ugh, it actually makes me angry. I hope you do something now. I think when/if you have kids of your own one day, you'll look back on this and be upset with yourself that you didn't call sooner

[littleplanet]

OP, where do you live? In which region?

Something to consider about CPS and the whole thing:

 

Take a moment to seriously consider and imagine child removal.

Here's how it works. There is no state-sponsored real help of any kind for those adults, those parents. They will just be punished by having their children taken away.

The children will be punished by being removed from their family home.

There is also no guarantee that the three children will even be able to stay together as siblings.

 

Here's how it also works: In the case of serious and obvious neglect, the societal approach is an absolutely punitive one. There may come a day when one or both of these parents have a serious change of heart, a change of mind.....and are willing and able to do right by their children. But by then it will be too late. The kids will be gone, and will never come back.

 

What I'm saying here - is that the parents will not be helped. (Ironically, that policeman at the door certainly knows all this.)

The children are being helped by being removed from a neglectful home, all right.

After which? The sky is the limit.

 

Anonymous calls to CPS protect the caller from perceived or imagined repercussions, true enough.

When I was growing up, things of this nature were addressed by concerned neighbors. If that went nowhere - then child advocacy was called in - but never without a warning, first. It was the good neighborly thing to do.

 

State-sponsored child protection is no magic pill that solves everything.

Child neglect is a criminial act. It is not necessarily followed up with any serious or productive rehabilitation of a family.

Essentially - the family screwed up. So they lose.

Once the kids go - are removed - it's not like you can sit back and feel good that they will now have a wonderful life. There is absolutely no guarantee of that - and this is proven by known statistics of foster children, and adoptees.

Too often, children are not only removed from an abusive or neglectful parent, or parents. They are removed from an entire extended family clan.

When that particular slate is wiped that clean....it is rarely a good outcome.

 

On the other hand, what to do? Kids in serious need of help - should have just that. Real help.

What would I do, personally? Knowing all this - my first step would be to at least attempt some kind of communication with one or both of the parents (unless they strike me as potentially violent people.)

And deliver a warning, that I can't sit by and not make that call.

Would this magically transform them into model parents? Almost certainly not.

So the call is made, and the authorities arrive, and blow up the family.

 

We can hope that the children are better for it.

But we will never know, for sure.

 

I'm sure some readers will think my attitude is abusive, in itself. Or pie in the sky. Rats to that.

I know too much, far too much...of what goes on in the other side of the equation. It is a real lousy situation to be in, altogether.

Kids today are in for a real crumby roller coaster ride, when mommy, or daddy (or both) screw up. That's the inconvenient truth.

 

Is this better than the situation they're in now?

Unfortunately for them - yes.

Will it stay that way?

God only knows.

[preraph]

If you are in the US, make an anonymous call (there really is no such thing anymore but just ask to remain anonymous) to Child Protective Services OR the police. CPS has a staffing/funding crisis and they can't do a tenth of what they need to do. But someone needs to know if the little ones are getting hit or investigate if they are alone in there. Obviously, the police have been called before. I would call CPS first if I were you or call both at once.