spy on son's cell phone

[AdaS]

Is it possible to spy on my son's iPhone 6s? I am worried that he is doing something bad. He has his own account but I payed for the bill.

[almond]

I'm sure there is a way to spy, installing programs and such. However, I think that if your son is on a bad path, then he needs to be able to trust you and come to you if he gets in trouble. Spying on him will destroy that and distance him from you when he needs your guidance and support.

 

If you're worried - try to talk and connect with him. Even if you do find out that he's been doing something bad by spying on him, you probably won't be able to stop him from doing it anyway.

 

Communicate with him and let him know you're there for him if he needs you. Get him into counselling if you feel he is in danger. Don't spy on him - it will hurt more than it will help in my opinion.

[still_an_Angel]

If the account is under your name then you can access the activities on his phone. (calls, texts) via the monthly bill or there's a tab on the online account to check current calls, texts, etc. But what sort of "spying" are you wanting to do? Access his photos, accounts, etc?

[mikeylo]

How old is your son ? Instead of spying on him, you need to make a relationship with him. My son is 17 and he comes to me for any issue that needs ' manly ' advice and goes to mom for emotional issues. Or we all sit together at family dinner table and talk. That's what you need to do -- talk and not spy !

[bathtub-row]

Let your son know that you expect to be able to check his phone at any time you feel the need to. If it's password protected, he needs to give the password to you. If he refuses, turn the phone off.

 

This is completely ridiculous for a parent to not have full control over what their kids are doing, and full access/disclosure. It is NOT spying. You have every right to know what he's doing and the right to insist that he be forthcoming. As long as he's under your roof, then he needs to recognize that you're the adult and he's the kid.

 

And I'm not talking about being some controlling, monstrous parent. I'm talking about being a parent and being in control. Right now, the tail is wagging the dog. That simply does not work.

[LadyN]

Okay, the first question I wanna figure out is that how old you son is. If he is an adult or almost an adult, I suggest you not spy on him because it will make them very angry and disappointed with you.

[candycane82]

There are apps you can put on phones that will show you their texts, incoming and outgoing calls and durations, and even websites they visit. You can check phone calls on the bill and see how many texts are sent but you can't generally see what they're saying.

 

If you're paying the bill, regardless of how old they are, you have every right to see what's on that phone. If they're legally an adult I'd just go straight up to them and say they better straighten up or they get the heck out. If they're still in high school and you find proof they're up to no good bring it to them. It might piss them off at first but oh well.

 

 

Everyone parents differently. So what works for some of you on here doesn't work for everyone. Not everyone is close to their kids. If you think you are that close, you really aren't. I was really close to my dad growing up and my mom was hardly around. There were and are things I don't tell my dad even though he's pretty understanding. But I didn't tell him everything when I was in high school. I lied to him once in awhile. So if you think your kid never lies to you...they probably have.

[soleilesquire]

If you are paying for the phone, you have a right to know what's on it. Period.

 

However, I like what an earlier poster said about letting him know you reserve the right to look at it at any time. This isn't being controlling; this is being proactive. I cannot tell you how many kids are victims of predators every year because their parents want to be all hip and cool and be their buddies and not "spy." Meanwhile they are using Kik and snapchat to correspond with a 40 year old pedophile who is masquerading as a 13 year old.

[amaysngrace]

He has his own account? There isn't anything you can do except stop paying his bills.

[Miss Peach]

I would want to know the age too. Not saying you don't have the right to know certain things but you need to do this delicately. As they get older they will want more autonomy and if they don't get it they will probably get resentful and it will hurt their trust. This will create a cycle where they will tell you even less and it will just get worse and worse.

 

Speaking from personal experience, I was a good kid and straight A student but my parents started spying on me when I hit my mid teens. My trust in my parents dwindled and I didn't want to tell my parents anything anymore. So my parent responded by becoming more controlling and strict. I stopped talking to my parents. I moved out the day I turned 18 and lived on the other side of the country.

 

I really would go the open communication route first. And if they tell you something you don't like try not to have a reaction where they will think twice about telling you things again such as yelling or name calling.