Correcting Parent in front of Child

[Shining One]

I have no children of my own, so I may have broken an unspoken rule.

 

My friend (single mom) asked me to help her son learn how to drive and prepare for the associated test. All three of us were in the car and it was wet out. I was explaining to him the dangers associated with wet roads and the mom incorrectly used the term "drifting". I explained that the correct term is "hydroplaning" and elaborated on how it happens. I then explained what "drifting" was so he would understand that term as well, even though I'm positive it would not be on the test. The mom kept quite for the rest of the lesson. When we got back to her house, she said: "Thanks for making me look stupid in front of my son." I apologized and explained I was just trying to help him prepare.

 

My question to the group here is this: Did I commit a faux pas? If so, how should I have handled the situation?

[Methodical]

She was prob. embarrassed by the correction. Ultimately, she asked for your help and that's what you provided.

 

Rather than getting pissed or offended, she could have just as easily said, "yeah, you're right, I got my terms confused," and picked up the ball and carried it from there.

 

She got offended, you have apologized. Where do things stand between the two of you now? Is she upset? Have you talked since the incident?

[Shining One]

She got offended, you have apologized. Where do things stand between the two of you now? Is she upset? Have you talked since the incident?

She's no longer upset. We spoke this morning and have already scheduled another lesson for next week.

[Methodical]

Good. To save her from future embarrassment and you undue stress, have a discussion about how she wants any potential discrepancies handled moving forward. Ultimately, the goal is to properly educate him.

[xxoo]

There is certainly room for finesse teaching "hydroplane" without saying mom is wrong to describe it as drifting. Something like, "the word you may see on a test for that is hydroplane."

[basil67]

Heh, parents do this to each other all the time. I might say something and my hubby corrects me (or vice verca) and it's in front of the children. But it's not an issue because kids need to know that everyone makes mistakes and that one can be corrected without the world coming to an end.

[CC12]

My guess is that maybe your delivery wasn't so great. When you're correcting someone, you have to be pretty careful to not come across as smug and superior, and you also have to be careful to not make them feel stupid. It can be hard to get it right.

 

Then again, some people just can't handle ever being wrong and won't take kindly to being corrected even in a very tactful way. Is she normally a sensitive and overly prideful person?

[Shining One]

Then again, some people just can't handle ever being wrong and won't take kindly to being corrected even in a very tactful way. Is she normally a sensitive and overly prideful person?

She isn't this sensitive normally. I've known her for years and this is the first time she reacted like this. We've both corrected each other many times over the years.

 

I talked with her about and she said she's just feeling a bit "inadequate" right now. She was already embarrassed that she needed me to help her son learn how to drive. This mistake just made her feel worse.

[Bee4Shine]

It is good for kids of all ages to see adults working out their relationship in front of them. Sometimes we all need to be corrected in certain areas. Maybe she is overly sensitive for some reason about being corrected. Do you think it might have been your tone or approach? It probably would not hurt for you to apologize for embarrassing her. It is all about learning to understand one another and our sensitivities.