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Pregnant- wanted this- but scared


Eighty_nine

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So, I'm 30 and have never been pregnant (before now). I know many people who've had fertility issues and was a little concerned that I might, too. I'm also in a healthy, loving relationship, financially stable, healthy, etc. and I wanted a baby.... So did my boyfriend.

 

So once. Once!!! We had unprotected sex. After, I started thinking better of it. I wanted to wait about 8 months to start trying-- after we bought a house, which we were planning on this spring, and got settled.

 

Welp. Looks like one time was all it took. I'm not horrified or anything, and I'm 100% sure I want a child-- but I wish we waited a little longer and I am freaking terrified.

 

Just venting. Found out an hour ago. Two positive tests. I would've conceived 3 weeks ago (so it's super early and I know anything could happen, also).

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it sounds like the timeline only moved up 9 months? not bad, and it was planned (or, at least, wanted) and that is 100% better than unwanted. congrats:)

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whichwayisup

Congrats!

 

It's okay to be scared, think that's quite normal but try not to focus on the fear. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy nesting and buying stuff for your baby, embrace it!

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It's perfectly normal to feel terrified to be a parent. It's easy to say you want a child, but having one is something totally different. It's not talk anymore, it's happening. All your life, it's really been about yourself, (not saying you are a selfish person by any means. You'll understand this sentence later on). Now, you are going to be responsible for a little person, and it's freaking scary.

 

Parents aren't born, they are made. You will be an excellent mother, learn to trust your gut. Babies aren't always born when everything is perfect, they sometimes come as surprises. The main thing is to take care of yourself, relax, and enjoy the miracle you have created.

 

When they place your baby on your belly, it will be the most surreal experience you may ever have. Congratulations!

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You wrote this an hour after finding out you are pregnant?!

 

Me and my wife knew we wanted a baby. And, like you, she became pregnant pretty much immediately. When the test was positive we were VERY scared. We said maybe we should've waited a bit longer, how are we going to cope...all those kinds of questions. At that point it feels like all your talk about becoming pregnant was crazy talk because then it feels like it is too late, you are committed.

 

The huge fear stayed with me for about 2 weeks and then, slowly, got better. Time gets you used to the idea. I didnt feel ready for the baby on the day he was born but then no-one does.

 

He is 4 months old now and I cannot imagine my life without him. I cant imagine why I was so scared back then. At the time, I think it would be hard to imagine not being terrified.

 

Also, for info, me and my wife are still in a one bed apartment - we are waiting to move to a house we bought. However even with a 4 month old its totally fine in a one bed place. He cant move around at all, he doesnt need any space.

 

Please dont worry, it sounds like this baby has everything he/she will need and that is parents who want him/her. Your fear will be a memory to you.

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  • 3 weeks later...

When they put my son in my arms, in that moment, I'd never felt more ready to be a dad, AND I'd never felt less ready either.

 

I didn't have a clue what I was doing, I was 17, I was on my own, I was travelling (mostly pretty far out in the sticks), I didn't even have a parental role model to copy. I made mistake after mistake and I learnt from them and then made different mistakes, but now I have this wonderful little man, who's kind & funny & determined and a better son than I ever was, and I burst with pride every time he calls me dad!!

 

I don't claim to have many pearls of parenting wisdom, but I do believe if you can really really love that kid then that's the single most important thing they need and you're as ready as you'll ever be!

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