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My son of 4 years of age has very recently been diagnosis with ADHD, something that many people had suspected he may have, along with a possible underling autism as well. Because of his behaviour, he can be very difficult to deal with at times.

 

I had have this discussion before with my now ex (my son's mother) and have had and still do a very strong stand of not wanting to have him on medication. Overall when it comes to medicine I am fine with it, he has his vaccines and gets medicine for temperature when having a fever and such. But something about giving my child a drug that is meant to affect his mind/brain just doesn't sit well with me at all.

 

My aunt had told me that I too had this diagnosis when I was young but was not given the medication because of the effects she had seen from it on another child (she use to take care of me when I was young) and I am thankful for that.

 

Now I will admit I am not much of an expert on the medication that is used for treating adhd and is something I will be looking into a lot more now. At the moment, my ex is pushing to have him on the medication, with her mother voicing her ever over reaching opinion on it, that if we don't take care of it now, he's could be one of those people that go off into a shooting spree.... :rolleyes:

 

In any case, theatrics aside, I still stand very strongly against it but will be doing research on the matter. I would like to hear from any that may have experienced this, having a child and if you used medication what type of results was there. Or if you didn't use it, how did you help manage the situation of outbursts and restlessness from it.

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Seriously, get information on ALL types of treatments available. Once they are medicated there is no going back . It will be a lifelong dosage.

 

My grandson was put on 5 different meds contingent on what his mother could persuade a doctor to diagnose him with. ITs terribly sad to see him doped up. He is intelligent and every bit the ambitious boy, yet an hour later, he is not even calm...more zombie like.

 

Trust your current objective data as you research. Sorry to hear that others aren't as concerned in a way that is future oriented. You sound like you want the best for this child.

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Do not give your child medication.

I was on these medications for a few years as a kid, and your personality becomes voided. The spark in your eyes is gone, and the inner child is suppressed chemically.

 

 

 

 

How some one could try and diagnose a 4 year old with a hyperactivity disorder is beyond me. THEY ARE 4. They are supposed to be hyper and have a short attention span.

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eye of the storm

You are having a knee jerk reaction. NO MEDS!!!!

 

Relax. I know many kids with ADD/ADHD most are on some kind of medication. The happiest and most well adjusted of them have parents that are middle of the road. By that I mean they are not on the extreme of either side.

 

Some kids are over medicated because their parents feel it makes them easier to deal with. Some are not medicated because their parents feel natural is better. The kids I know from both of those camps are miserable.

 

The majority of the kids I know that are on a good level of med and the right meds are happy, alert, and pretty well adjusted. It does take time and lots of adjustments to get the levels right.

 

In addition to meds, people forget food can and does affect them. For some it may be additives or sugars. Therapy so they can learn life skills are also important. As is consistency.

 

The important thing to remember is this is not a defect. They just process things differently. And they need to be taught how to live with that difference.

 

And here is a question to ponder when you feel that knee jerk reaction about meds, if he had epilepsy would you withhold those meds? They also affect brain chemistry. This is not just bad behavior, his brain is different. And if his doctor recommends it, he may need meds to help him live a full life.

 

Spend some time with a doctor that specializes in this. Don't just google crap off the internet. Take informed opinions of someone that has seen and treated your son.

 

In addition, you and your Ex need to be a team. This is a long long long marathon and you two need to be on the same page. My niece has to send her son to his dad for 2 months in the summer and every summer his dad takes him off his meds. The kid comes home and is miserable. His dad is constantly complaining how his son doesn't know how to behave and destroys things. Yet once he is stabilized on his meds again the behaviors stop. The poor kid is able to control his impulses again. He is not a zombie, he is smart funny in sports and still does young boy mischief but he has control over himself.

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LuckyLady13

I don't have kids with ADHD (thankfully!) but I am an adult with ADHD now and my sister is also. We both were medicated and reacted somewhat differently as in I was more interested in trying this route than she was.

 

In her case, she struggled with the dosage being right for her and it mellowed her to a point that she was a zombie. So, what did the doc order for that problem? Antidepressants. She was struggling between insomnia and sleeping too much, a zombie during the day or under medicated and became a complete emotional basketcase and refused medication after that. Can't blame her.

 

I had a better time with it but I'm going to tell you what these "medications" actually are. It's speed. Stimulants slow down a person (or child) with ADHD but the starting dose is low and no matter how hard the patient and/or doctor fights it, the dosage has to be increased because the patient builds a tolerance to it and it stops working. What "medication" is for a child with ADHD would bounce you off the walls at 4 in the morning like a crack head if you don't have ADHD.

 

You're looking at potentially years of adjusting the doses higher and switching brands and formulas of the same basic drugs to keep trying to get that same "mellowing" effect. In a few years, you will have a kid on enough stimulants to take down an elephant.

 

I spoke to a lot of adults and young adults with ADHD when I was medicated to get a grasp on things and the dosages some of the kids were on in high school was shocking! The adults were even worse...and I'm talking about prescribed doses by a psychiatrist or doctor.

 

Am I against medication for it? I think for children I might be for a really good reason. Besides putting a child with no choice in the matter on mind altering drugs with an extreme addiction potential, there was a common theme among young adults and older adults that once they've tasted that mellowness and being able to just slow down to sit and have a normal conversation with people, get along with everyone more easily because you feel slowed down to their speed (finally!), that in itself becomes an addiction.

 

It's really strange but as these kids get older, they try and try to achieve that same slowed down mental state because it makes them feel sane for once and on the same level as everyone else. Who wouldn't want that, right?

 

By the time a lot of these kids hit high school, they get drugs from a shrink and cop extra drugs from other kids in school and/or off the street and also the internet. And they have ways of telling each other which internet sites have the best shipping times and best prices for speed. They send cash overseas and their parents have no idea.

 

The addiction potential is so high that I'm afraid you could start your child down a horribly bad path that could one day end very bad. Sometimes these kids OD before they get out of high school. They are just trying to recapture that mellowed out state they experienced their first week on the medication but it's just chasing the dragon.

 

Knowing everything I just said, doesn't that make you think about what in the world drugs like this could do to a 4 year old?!? It's scary, isn't it?

 

It sounds like a bad path to start your child off on. You could accidentally kick the door open for future drug addiction.

 

I tried to do things the way I was supposed to by keeping the dose down as long as possible but then it was like I was unmedicated all over again so it became pointless. And instead of chasing the dragon, I just quit on the whole idea. It really did end up a learning experience for me (showed me what ADHD really does do to me on a daily basis) but other than that, it was a complete waste of time.

 

There's an upside but not to the medication. I own my own company now and if I'm not in a constantly changing and challenging environment, I go crazy. I'm motivated when no one else has steam left, I have drive and determination like a pitbull and became quite successful but I know working at my own stupid fast pace is why I'm a success right now. I took complete control over my situation because I knew all along growing up that if I could just work at my own faster pace, I'd thrive. And sure enough!

 

I can't tell you what to do regarding your child and medication for a medical problem but I can tell you that your child is constantly craving challenge and complicated problems to solve to feel sane. Even at 4 years old.

 

Your child can excel and thrive in the right environments. Always keep that in mind!

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mrs rubble

My step-daughter was diagnosed at 4 as well, the paternal grandmother insisted there was nothing wrong with her and she shouldn't be "labeled" or medicated. My ex and I split when she was 10, before I left, her behaviour was appaling, you couldn't take her anywhere and expect her to behave. Her school work was ok at the time, teachers were always saying how distracting she was for the other students though.

She's 20 now and dropped out of school with no quailifications, she has no job either. I really think she could have done a lot better with medication.

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my nephew has severe ADHD/autism and received the diagnosis, along with PTSD, at age 3 or 4. he is now 6. we decided to give him the medications and started him on them at about age 4. it does help, but the dosage they give the kids is so low that it doesn't actually take away the ADHD much, especially if the child is really ADHD. the kids are still SUPER HYPER. like seriously hyper. so, even on meds, the difference isn't that substantial. my nephew even reminds us to give us his meds at this point, because he knows he takes a pill each morning and night. at times we have forgotten to give him the pill, and the behavior is the same, to be honest. i don't notice a change and i believe that's because the doses are kept small for kids. they re-evaluate the children frequently, and at such a young age they often give ADHD as an initial diagnosis because you cannot diagnosis a kid with let's say depression or schizophrenia or etc. before a certain advanced age. so, ADHD + meds at an early age is (often, not always) a precursor to other mental illness issues the kid will eventually have. we fully suspect he has other things wrong, but you cannot diagnose those until later. i think the medicines, from what i've seen, don't work. he doesn't seem any calmer, he doesn't listen or behave, and it doesn't help calm him or put him to sleep. we have given him two pills at once, just to see if that helps, and it'll put him to sleep for sure, but we just tried that to see. kids don't get strong enough doses for the meds to matter, imo

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Thank you to all those that have posted with their experiences and views on the matter. A lot of what has been said is what had crossed my mind or come across in my research.

 

From what I have seen, in actual research papers and such, it's really a gamble of how it would go. Some studies show that the dosage doesn't increase over the years, for about 60%, meaning not all individuals build a tolerance to the medication, while the other 40% does require it. And than the different forms of medication vary, some are instant mood changers that have short term effects, others are long term that gradually build up and get to a certain level in the body.

 

Side effects on many are minor, with the exception of potential slowness in growth , that one is concerning. So like before, it's a gamble how the medication would work, both short and long term. I am still very against it, and we will be seeing the peds doctor in the coming weeks.

 

My only other concern, if my son is not given the medication, is if he really does have adhd which I do strongly feel he does given his behaviour and instant mood swings when something is out of place in his mind, is if this will affect him in schooling , being unable to concentrate or stay calm in a class setting. Already he almost always refuses to learn from either parent, in preschool he gets along well with kids and does group activities , but even the teachers there have started saying his hyperness has been increasing a bit and they hope it will pass as it is distracting for him. I will update this more once we meet with the doctor again on how things go.

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You are having a knee jerk reaction. NO MEDS!!!!

 

Spend some time with a doctor that specializes in this. Don't just google crap off the internet. Take informed opinions of someone that has seen and treated your son.

 

Oh, the irony.

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eye of the storm

Wizer, I told him my opinion. But I also stressed he should talk to a medical professional.

 

Many people think they can google themselves to be more informed than someone with a doctorate.

 

 

With issues like this, he should get an informed opinion. And if he is still concerned, a second and third opinion. It is key to feel trust with a person that will be in the lead on his child's care.

 

 

When my son received a diagnosis of Aspergers. I did a lot of research, books, websites, support groups, and talked to his doctors. I knew my son better than them but they knew the condition better than me. So we needed to be a team.

 

 

My ExH did a lot of knee jerk reactions No this No that. Without getting the information he needed to make informed decisions. It caused problems.

 

 

Contact, you need to be an advocate for your child. Meds no meds advocate for him. He needs you.

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As with anything else, there are pros and cons. Our child was a real wacko, and clearly he needed something to help him. Drugs were a mixed bag.

 

-- The meds tamped down his personality to almost zero. The school liked it, but he was a med zombie

 

-- It kept him quiet in school, but he really didn't learn much of anything. It repressed him, it didn't make him "normal".

 

-- He developed a tic, and we pulled him off of it in 4th grade. He had no experience in self-control, and he went straight to the bottom of the class. He was a first grader in a fourth grade body.

 

-- He struggled all through school. He was not an easy child, everything was a fight, a struggle, and he was an attention vampire. His presence, his way of dealing with life made things rough on everybody.

 

-- He struggled with sports. He liked to play, but as things became disciplined, he could not get with the program. It was as if he could only excel at one thing at a time, and that thing changed with the weather.

 

-- He struggled with friends. He didn't make a lot of them, and the ones he did were just as strange as he was, and they didn't always get along. He finally settled into a core group, and each of them has their problems to deal with.

 

-- He's really smart, but he struggles to achieve at anything. At age 18 now, he's headed to college, but I fear for his ability to succeed there.

 

Real ADHD is a big problem for those who have it. It is a debilitating condition, and those parents who celebrate it either don't have a ADHD child, or they're fooling themselves.

 

Our boy, when he was young, would put on his pants backwards before school. I met so many others over the years who did the same thing, and could not be trained to change. That is a sign, and there are a few others like it. High expectations for behavior was our only savior, and we drilled our children (made them practice over and over) to tamp down the influence of the one. They all loved him, until they got older, and then they began to see that he was different. Now, the relationships are difficult, because he deals with things and people differently than expected. I don't know what will happen as he gets older.

 

Long story short, a severely ADHD child can be a drain on the family, both in terms of finances and attention. They are not easy to deal with, and you have to keep a independent perspective lest you get sucked into the misery. It ain't going to be easy.

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Wizer, I told him my opinion. But I also stressed he should talk to a medical professional.

 

Ok, but I think that posters who say "don't take medications" are being reckless and irresponsible, unless they've got the training and licensure of a medical professional.

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I was diagnosed with what they just called "ADD" back when I was about 9 years old. They shoved Ritalin down my throat for about 3 years.

 

My schoolwork did in fact improve, but when I came off it I still made honor roll, so who knows.

 

I think they are too cavalier about prescribing meds to children. Not every child is going to learn or act the same way, so we shove drugs down their throats to make them fit the mold.

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Ok, but I think that posters who say "don't take medications" are being reckless and irresponsible, unless they've got the training and licensure of a medical professional.

 

being thorough and seeking alternatives is another avenue. Medications of modern age pharmeceutical carry long term risks. there are natural treatments that are equally worthy of investigating. Dietary changes have been shown to aide along with bio feedback. A child has zero say in what meds are tossed into him/her. Its the parent and versed specialist who can together make informed treatments based on the individual.

The recklessness comes when parents blindly take the medical opinion as gospel and lead the child to meds that can and do cause medical /biological maladies in later years.

I don't need to be a chef to cook a seven course meal.

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I was diagnosed with what they just called "ADD" back when I was about 9 years old. They shoved Ritalin down my throat for about 3 years.

 

My schoolwork did in fact improve, but when I came off it I still made honor roll, so who knows. .

 

 

They "shoved the Ritalin down your throat"?

 

You sound like you have a hatred of medications. Sounds to me like the Ritalin did what it was supposed to do, and you, like many other children, no longer need the meds as they get older so it was discontinued.

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They "shoved the Ritalin down your throat"?

 

You sound like you have a hatred of medications. Sounds to me like the Ritalin did what it was supposed to do, and you, like many other children, no longer need the meds as they get older so it was discontinued.

 

 

No, meds are appropriate for a wide range of conditions. But ADD is arguably a less tangible condition than say high blood pressure.

 

If I was fidgeting at my desk, maybe it's because I didn't like sitting down for 6 hours a day. Or maybe because that was actually my way of concentrating on something. But the behavior was deemed "wrong" so let's give the kid stimulant drugs so he fits the status quo.

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You're absolutely correct and there's no doubt some types of medications are over prescribed.

 

I'm in the medical field -eyes- and very often a family will come in and when I am asking them about the history it's not uncommon for more than one child from the same family to be on ADD meds. A few minutes with the parents sums up what I already suspect.. they're just lousy, apathetic, dysfunctional parents and the kids have problems as a result and they bring the kids to the pediatrician who is more than happy to sign on the dotted line and rx the meds which calms the kids down and makes them less of a bother- while completely ignoring the real issues which stem from the parents. It's win/win. The parents job is much easier since the kid is subdued with the meds, the doctor is the hero and collects his fee from the insurance company. The only loser is the kid, who is stuck with bad parents and is over medicated.

 

I do find that most kids get off the meds as they get older.

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Please, please OP. Don't think if meds as your first option. Think of it as your last resort...

 

Ritalin does all kinds of stuff to your hormones and to your body.

 

I have ADD, which is ADHD without the hyperactivity.

Couple years ago doc wanted to put me on meds. I did my online reasearch and found this natural supplement: L-Theanine.

You can take up to 300 mg a day. I usually take an 150 mg pill in the morning and a 150 mg pill in the evening. Each works 8 hrs. It works miracles. My ADD has not been around since.

 

The best part? It's made of green tea. It's made of the component of green tea that gives it the umami taste.

 

Please, OP, read into this, and try it. Your kid will be eternally thankful for not putting him on Ritalin or anything other chemical.

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whichwayisup

Read up on diet and foods, what your child should and shouldn't eat. It's amazing how food affects bodies. Counseling and exercise! Try without meds with the therapy and see how things go. If things don't improve, then do meds, but meds shouldn't automatically be the first thing to do.

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i often wonder if the increase of ADHD is more 'keeping them in-line' than an actual problem. an adult with it (me and being 40+) is a big nothing. i often get up and pace for no apparent reason --- and just did after reading this thread and before this response: i think it helps focus my attention/organizes my thoughts. no one seems to care. but this is VERY bad in school. they can't have kids walking around, they must sit, eyes front, "stay within the lines, the lines are your friends". do we want conformist? we all have 'quirks' some just show more and in the wrong places.

 

my oldest had it. we did NOT put him on meds. it would have been easier: less trouble at school, better grades, less frustration. the school was very accommodating: used a rubber band on his chair legs for him to 'kick' and other 'distractions. in the end he did fine.

 

lastly this does not seem to be an issue in sports. i have coached numerous children (ice hockey). maybe its the movement/stimulation, the coach demanding/yelling if they get out of line or redirecting their attention. on the ice it just is not the problem the schools/certain parents portray it as.

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autumnnight

My son showed "signs" according to one of his daycare teachers. In first grade, the teacher all but said he needed medication (a teacher cannot legally suggest meds in our state). I am a teacher, and I know what happens in the teachers' lounge when a kid is diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/ODD etc.

 

Turns out he has a 160+ IQ. He had begun reading at age 2. We spent a lot of time together, and he matured a bit in between 1st and 2nd grade. His 2nd grade teacher said he was a dream. He is a calm, funny, normal, responsible, high-achieving kid, and it was all done WITHOUT medication.

 

There is, in my 20 years of teaching opinion, no need to entertain the idea of medication until a child begins school and there is an observable issue.

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LuckyLady13
My only other concern, if my son is not given the medication, is if he really does have adhd which I do strongly feel he does given his behaviour and instant mood swings when something is out of place in his mind, is if this will affect him in schooling , being unable to concentrate or stay calm in a class setting. Already he almost always refuses to learn from either parent...

 

I understand your concern here. And I'd like to inform you more about what it's like for your child since he can't express this the way I can.

 

I wasn't medicated in elementary school. My parents were way too busy to deal with me in any way at that time. I was about to be put into "special" classes because they thought I was too stupid to learn. So, they gave me extensive IQ tests for days to find out how "slow" I actually was. Everybody got a shock. My IQ was so high they wanted to cart me into junior High School with kids much older than me and told my parents I was about to fail out of school because I wasn't "challenged enough". My (abusive) father, upon finding out I was intelligent but failing in school, beat me right in the school parking lot.

 

I didn't do well in school at all. Trying to listen to a teacher lecture or explain anything for more than 3 minutes, my mind would either wander or just shut down. I could hear the teachers words but they sounded muffled and in slow motion to the point I couldn't even make sense of anything. It was almost as if the first 3 minutes was okay but then the teacher would start speaking in a foreign language I never heard before.

 

ADHD is scary sometimes, especially for a child who may be getting yelled at or punished for "not paying attention" when it's so much worse than that. It's not a disciplinary problem at all. The poor child has no control over this.

 

When I did finally do well was when I hit High School. Changing classes every 40 minutes, new room/building, different teacher and a different class of students. The classes I did the best in were shop classes. Construction and Automotive. The way those classes are taught is very different and so much better for someone with ADHD because it's less about sitting still listening and more about doing things. I could frame out a wall in construction as fast as I wanted to so that I could work with how short my attention span is and auto shop was great! Physically being active doing body work, welding and turning a wrench kept me more alert, awake, focused and again, I could go at as fast of a pace as I wanted to.

 

The absolute worst thing for children with ADHD is to make them sit in a chair for potentially hours at a time, expecting them to just sit there and somehow start alert and focused. It's torture when you're a scared child, getting into trouble with your parents, teachers and the principal which pushes you to try your absolute hardest to just focus...only to fail and get into more trouble. More people angry at you.

 

If ADHD were just a disciplinary problem, the beatings I endured for doing bad in school would've scared me straight instantly. Instead, I just became terrified when I couldn't understand what teachers were trying to teach. I knew what trouble I was going to be in. I was terrified of being locked in my bedroom for 2 more months. The punishments were unbearable. I had no control over the way my mind kept shutting down. I so wish I did...

 

Take whatever you can from what I've said. I made the honor roll in High School, thanks to shop classes. They broke up my day in the perfect way so that I could even focus better in History class and Math.

 

Medication for this is a lot worse than not perfect. It's a constantly changing thing that has to be closely monitored just to work half the time.

 

Make sure your son eats a healthy breakfast before school no matter what. ADHD gets worse on an empty stomach.

 

If I think of anything else that might be helpful, you'll be the first to know! ;)

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My son of 4 years of age has very recently been diagnosis with ADHD, something that many people had suspected he may have, along with a possible underling autism as well. Because of his behaviour, he can be very difficult to deal with at times.

 

I would like to hear from any that may have experienced this, having a child and if you used medication what type of results was there. Or if you didn't use it, how did you help manage the situation of outbursts and restlessness from it.

 

I would definitely continue to pursue testing for Autism. The best therapy for Autism isn't medication at all...it's behavior therapy. And it's supposed to really help in many ways.

 

One thing with Autism is that children with this diagnosis often have a hard time with change. EVERY child has a hard time with a divorce, but it can be even more difficult if a child has Autism. Your divorce (or separation?) is having an impact on your child, no doubt. To what extent, I don't know...you might have more insight into that. Having a better understanding of how difficult this change may be on him might help you figure out how to help him adjust.

 

So, those are two major factors that could be affecting your child, and if those factors are applicable to your situation, there could be a very feasible treatment without meds! :)

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Medication for that illness isn't going to change him permanently but help maybe control him while he's on it. So putting him on it young isn't going to keep him from having whatever potential he has, good or bad. When he's on he will hopefully be more controlled than when he's off.

 

 

I would recommend you just google a Dr. Dale Archer and you may find some of his thoughts online. He has a book called "Better Than Normal" that has a good chapter on ADHD, his specialty. And he is currently working on a book dedicated to it. His take on it may give you some food for thought. Basically, with all the different disorders, he is first in favor of playing to their strengths, so he is not a gung-ho "medicate them" doctor. Don't know where you're at, but he is in south Louisiana, in case you'd be nearby you could even go see him.

 

All four-year-olds are out of control pretty much. At least all the ones I've met are. So it's a fine line there to tell how much behavior is transitional and how much is out of the norm and how much will go away in 3 years. Please read what he has to say and also some differing opinions. In your shoes, my natural cautious way would be to have the child re-evaluated every year. But you're now reaching school age and there will be more pressure to do something about it so the child doesn't fall behind. Good luck.

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autumnnight

Every school system and state can be different, but here is how it operates in the 3 states where I taught:

 

Once your child is tested for and labeled ADD/ADHD, that follows them regardless of re-evaluation. So if a kindergarten child who is just a bit immature is diagnosed and drugged, but by 2nd grade he is fine....ADHD will still be in his record, and woe be unto him if he has a bad week or gets one of those "should have retired ten years ago" teachers.

 

A trustworthy doctor will make the diagnosis a multi-faceted process rather than an event, and they will NOT give medication to a preschooler unless it is so out of control that normal functioning is impossible. If a 4 year old can learn his alphabet letters and go to the grocery store without a meltdown, no sensible doctor will give him meds......UNLESS the parent really pushes for it ;)

 

Had my son's behavior continued to be a problem and had his grades suffered, I would have gone through the process. But I'm darn glad I didn't let his early teacher bully me. Because he was fine. My nephew, hoever, began taking meds in 4th grade. He lost so much weight that he had to be put on several pedia-sures a day, and he fell asleep in class almost every day.

 

I have to wonder how many kids are taking pills just to make Mommy and Teacher's lives easier.

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