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"HELP Computer issues"


butterflygrl

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Hey all i have a question concerning my stepson... my h and i went to my mothers and left ss home by himself till we got back . The next day i looked in the files and found that he had been looking at porn on the computer.. This was in the history files. I told h about it and he looked and it and then said ss owned up to one picture but he had no idea where the other came from.. SS was very defensive about it. He said he was tired of being accused of these things. This is not the first time we have caught him doing this while we wasn't here and he is on the computer.. My H was furious and told him he better not ever find any files in there like that again or he was in big trouble.. The question i was wanting to know is if he didn't do this with this other site why was it in the history files? I was wondering what was someones input on this was ...

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Maybe set him up under parental controls or weblock. Is this an ongoing thing? Do you see it alot? Its probably curiosty, even so, you all might want to check into setting him up under the parental control settings. Good luck.

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If he is a teen then he is probably curious. However, I'm sure thats not comforting knowing he might be looking at that stuff. I would put him under the parental controls. Also too, if he is a teenager, they go through this phase where they feel they rule the world and they can do anything, so I think the more you harp on it about to him the more he is gonna want to look at. Simply because he isn't suposse too. Then he would be doing it for curiosty plus out of spite for you all.

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Sometimes pop-ups will show up as accessed pages when you go under "history". I had this problem here at work a while back and was MORTIFIED to find out that in my history I had 'fisting' pages that looked like they had been visited. All of my pop-ups show up in my history.

 

Are you checking cache, cookies or temp internet files? And how do you know it's not your husband doing some of this?

 

I say get rid of the computer until it can be used responsibly.

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I say get rid of the computer until it can be used responsibly.

 

Computers are invaluable research tools. I imagine that no student today can do well without having access to a computer to help with his work.

 

The question is how old is SS. If he can be left alone, he must have at least reached puberty. It's unrealistic to think that a young teen male will not want to look at naked ladies. Be thankful if they're on the internet and not 3D.

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You know, I think anyone with a 13 year old son should expect he will try to look at porn on the internet. Leaving him alone at home with full access to the computer, and expecting him not to look at porn, is like leaving a 4 yo alone in front of a pile of candy and expecting the 4 yo not to eat it, just because you tell them not to.

 

I think you should look into some blocking software if you haven't already

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Originally posted by moimeme

Computers are invaluable research tools. I imagine that no student today can do well without having access to a computer to help with his work.

 

They can also be pathways to destruction. And you can still get internet access through a library. Good luck surfing porn there. If the son is on the computer for educational purposes, that should be the intent. For educational purposes only.

 

I forbid pornography in my home. That's my opinion. And I like it.

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Hi Moimeme. It's good to see that you are still a raving liberal. ;)

 

Let me say this, 13 year old kids can do homework fine without a home computer. Also, if a parent doesn't want their child looking at porn it does not matter that the boy is 13 and it's natural for him to want to look at porn.

 

It's the parent's job to raise thier child according to the family's set of values and beliefs. As I believe Liam O'Flannary said of childrens' likes and dislikes, "And if the child does not approve then that is unfortunate. His tastes are not being consulted, they are being formed." (badly quoted , I know but fairly accurate)

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I think if a teenager is going to be left at home with access to the internet, then the parents should set it up under weblock. I think any parent that doesn't do that with their children are just asking for something like that to happen. True, teens are gonna look at it at some point, however if you don't want that happening in your household then do something about it. Its pretty simple, block him.

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hey all thanks for all the replies.. tiki i know it isn't my husband because h was with me at the time it shown we went to my mothers .. we left ss home and he didn't want to go with us nor stay with someone.. mother-in law has under parental controls or so she says.. she says there is no way he can go to this but it sure did show up at that time on our computer.. no tiki no popups .. he admitted to one of them but the other he said he had no idea and they were done all at the same time he was here and he was on .. if she has him under parental controls this should have not happened on our computer

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hey mira ,

sorry for the confusion .. he is set up by mother- in laws computers not ours.. we didn't think he needed to be added to ours .. thought he liked the computer a little too much.. she set up an account against our better judgement.. his sn isn't added on our account . he goes on as guest when he uses our computer.. will that matter .. so we don't have him set but she says she does but i don't believe it. she will lie for ss in a heart beat.. thanks for all the replys..

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If he is living in your house hold he shouldn't even be under your mother in laws account. Tell her thanks but he needs to taken off her account, and you all can set him up on yours and put him under parental controls. You stated you thought he was on the computer to much, all the more reason to have him under parental controls and limit his time on there as well.

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There are snooper programs out there but I do not like them--they smack of big brother and breed a bad environment of distrust.

 

My suggestions are to :

1

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There are snooper programs out there but I do not like them--they smack of big brother and breed a bad environment of distrust.

 

My suggestions are to :

1 Put the computer in a common area of the house and have a screen name set up under your master account.

2 Tell mother in law to eliminate the screen name at her house--he can sign in as a guest when he is over there

3 Tell him that it is unacceptable and that if you find it again, he will be locked out of the computer for 6 months and stick to it.

4 Periodically review his history, cache, cookies, etc to see where he has been.

5 Maybe install parental controls via software--I find these tend to block some educational sites too

 

My own parental control is ME. My kids know what to expect and know that they will lose if they screw it up. No chatting with strangers, no personal information, etc.

 

I would think that if you did not yell scream accuse, and merely say that you found these files on the computer and you will not stand for it, it might do the trick

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  • 3 weeks later...

As a former kid who looked at porn on the internet and was never caught - I say install parental blocking tools. Kids can always hide stuff like this from their parents if he really wanted too. Hell, what I used to do is write down what sites were in that day's history and after clearing the history/cookies/cache after some porn viewing I'd re-go to those history sites and make it look like nothing was wrong. Sometimes I'd even turn the date on the computer back and fill up older histories. I'd say some program to monitor these things would be best.

 

Computers are really cheap nowadays. You could even buy him his own for well under $200 and not have it on the internet to type papers and the like. And not even allow him on your computer anymore. And if he wants to get on the internet, hook his computer up and set a timer and when it goes off pull out the cord. I'd still say something like net nanny or similar would be still useful in this situation - unless you want to stand over his shoulder. And have the computer in the den. That way it's harder to get around that ****.

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hey 7on,

im curious .. how do you change the dates in the history/cashe ? can you change the temporary internet files? this is able to be done.. give me some pointers how to do it.... thanks for the reply and info .. that was very interesting..

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