Jump to content

13 year old daughter is so mean


Recommended Posts

Are they all like this? She is so rude and disrespectful to all of us, but especially my husband, her stepdad. My oldest is 22 and she wasn't this bad. It's like the 13 year old has an air leak everytime she's spoken to...and her tone of voice is like, "omg, you're all the stupidest people I've ever laid eyes on"

ARGH!

Link to post
Share on other sites
leavesonautumn

I was very, very rude as a teenager. Specifically the ages of 13 - 17.

 

I was seeking attention and felt that this was the way to do it. My brother is a few years older and was diagnosed with ADHD when he was younger so there was a lot of focus on him when we were growing up. I was extremely timid and shy as a child and was not given a lot of avenues to work on it so it did affect me later on in life. I was bitchy, did badly in school on purpose, basically became disrespectful in general. At 18, I fell into a depression after being exhausted with this act.

 

My cousin also lashed out in this way after her parent's got a divorce when she was young. Has she experienced a shift in her family?

 

Some kids lash out because of external causes but most are internal. Is she mostly just annoyed with her family or everyone? Honestly, she sounds like a typical hormonal teenager being super bratty, unless there is more going on.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

moods can be changed when the source is identified. What ways have you tried to validate her angst? Has she started to rebel to gain autonomy? Try to take small steps in patience and get past the words and deal with her emotions.Your daughter needs to re adjust her attitude when. speaking with you. get her on the same page so you can achieve healthier ways to converse and behave. Go a bit easier on her... labeling her as bad or troubled may have a negative effect. If counseling helps... try that. Some teens do better with an unbias person..,

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin

Honestly? My mother would have slapped me right across the face if I'd been openly hostile or disrespectful - whether I was 13 or 23. I'd learned at a very early age that I was NOT going to get away with any kind of disrespect at all.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
amaysngrace

Ground her whenever she does it. That'll give her something real to bitch about.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup
Ground her whenever she does it. That'll give her something real to bitch about.

 

Consequences - Take away her phone when she's home. No computer, no tv. No going out with friends. She needs to understand being sassy is unacceptable and rude.

 

Kids/teens these days have the attitude that they can do and say whatever they please and get away with it all the time.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
lollipopspot
Are they all like this?

 

My oldest is 22 and she wasn't this bad.

 

You ask the question and then answer it.

 

If she's acting out, there's probably a reason for it, unless you just birthed a genetic jerk. You might try to find out what that reason is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup
You ask the question and then answer it.

 

If she's acting out, there's probably a reason for it, unless you just birthed a genetic jerk. You might try to find out what that reason is.

 

And, I'll add/ask, maybe she is having a harder time accepting her stepfather, how long ago did you and your H divorce? Maybe the adjustment of divorce has been harder on her than you realize?

 

Edit to add, just read your other thread! Your 13 year old is acting out and honestly I can sympathize with her. Your kids have had too many changes to deal with in such a short period of time.

 

Maybe family counseling could help. And, being on your own with no man in your life. The stepfather doesn't sound like a good guy at all. :(

Edited by whichwayisup
  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
mrs rubble

I was an awful teen, I'd been sexually abused as 4-5yo. My parents sent me to counselling, I never opened up (about the sexual assault) to the counsellor as he was insisting that either of my parents must have been the issue, when they weren't.

My youngest son was the worst teen I've ever experienced (it actually started at 12ish) he'd been physically and verbally abused by his own father, I sought out several different counsellors for him and eventually found one that was able to work with him and now he's a lovely young man.

 

So in my experience, there is often an issue. I'd try counselling for her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
lollipopspot

Edit to add, just read your other thread! Your 13 year old is acting out and honestly I can sympathize with her. Your kids have had too many changes to deal with in such a short period of time.

 

Yeah, I think the answer is in the other thread.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...