Teag Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 ok, I know children go through the terrible twos but my goodness. My daughter is 23 months & its already hit her about a month or two but in the past week or two its gotten worse. She use to be the "perfect" child, ate everything on her plate, went to bed at 8pm every night w/out a word & you could hear her alking for about 30 minutes until she went to sleep. No crying nothing. Now she gets in her moods of course & she's slept throught the night since she was 3 months old. Now when I try to feed her all she wants to eat is pizza & ravioli's, I have to give her her veggies before I give her her "entree" b/c she'll only eat the meat, but that I can deal with. Its bedtime thats giving me so much trouble now. We ALWAYS get her bath, sit down & read her a book then lay her down but now she screams bloody murder. & I don't mean just crying, if you were standing outside you would think I was torturing her. It makes me feel so bad, or she'll be fine until she hears the door close then it starts. I try to rock her to cam her down & she'll fall asleep but as soon as I stand up to put her down she's up screaming. I feel so bad b/c I have to close her door & just let her scream & she'll sheam for up to an hour. It kills me hearing it but I don't know what else to do. Nothing is wrong with her. She's a healthy child when I go to check on her she'll kick the covers off her so I have to stay & cover her back up. She's a big Blankie baby & she'll drop HER blankie & scream for it until I have to go get it. I'm just so frustrated & I actually screamed at her to shut up the other night & feel horrible about that but I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. I know alot of people hae it worse, I guess its my payback for having such a well behaved daughter until now that is. Please don't tell me I have another year to go throught this. Please help with what I should do. Should I just let her cry? Link to post Share on other sites
Karen75 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I would say just let her cry. If she is fed and dry she is okay. She will know that if she yells, you will go in after her so ignore it. I know that can be hard, too but I think you need to try. As long as you are giving her plenty of love at other times its not like you are ignoring her. My step daughter is turning 2 in a week and it is getting bad but part of the reason is her dad not setting boundaries so that it another story.. Good luck!! K Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 She is testing the waters.. all little people go through this kind of thing from time to time. I know it's horrible to listen to.. but you're doing the right thing IMO on letting her cry it out.. IF you know there isn't anything wrong with her except she is angry about having to go to bed.. then do what you've been doing, don't break the routine.. EXCEPT once you get her into bed.. ONCE the crying/screaming starts you've got to take a big huge step back.. Wait for 10 Minutes.. go into her room (don't pick her up) and tell her "It's time for bed.. Mommy is right outside. Goodnite, I love you" then when it continues (and it will) Wait 15 Minutes.. repeat exactly what you've just done and said before... It could take a few weeks for her to finally get it.. that she isn't going to get her way no matter how much she screams or crys.. but it will get better;) Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Do you leave a night light on in her room? My daughter would have "night fear" we decided not to close her door completly and bought a night light to put in her room and in the hallway. At least then when she would try to see she could. It helped a lot. My son never went through this......as soon as he put his head on the pillow......poof! he was out like a light. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 HAHA sorry to laugh but welcome to the "Terrible two's" I would let her scream untill she falls asleep don't fall for that extra kiss, Potty, I am thirsty crap becaue kids will make a million excuses why they don't have to go to bed. One week of her screaming she'll get over it and realise it won't work!! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I had to raise my son living in an upstairs apartment, trying to teach him this discipline, until our home was built. I hope that you have your own home first of all, because it's very stressful worrying what the neighbors think. I liked Merin's idea. I used to cover my head because I hated to hear my son scream. But it's not going to do her any harm to cry herself silly. She may get angry, and her anger may escalate, but you've got to put your foot down and remind her of who's boss. "She's a healthy child when I go to check on her she'll kick the covers off her so I have to stay & cover her back up." Says who? You don't have to stay there and cover her back up. It's a game, she's winning. Unless you guys live in an igloo, let her kick them off and she can go to sleep without them. My son pulls this crap with me too because he thinks I'll continue to re-tuck him in a bazillion times. After twice I tell him to tuck himself in. It's hard on me, but I've got to do it. "She's a big Blankie baby & she'll drop HER blankie & scream for it until I have to go get it." You're not her flunkie. She can get it herself. She drops it? She can pick it up. She'll catch on fast enough. My son thinks that if he screams too loud our burglar alarm will go off - which is partly true. He has a glass breakage detector on his window and if his scream is high pitched enough and the alarm is set....lol. I tell him, go ahead, but scream too loud and you'll set the alarm off. He hates the sound of the alarms so he shuts up. Keep control Mom!!! Don't let her boss you around at two or you'll only do yourself a disservice when she's four, eight, sixteen and so on. Keep control while you still have it. Don't give in and remind her of who is in control. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Heeeeeey! A whole bunch of support!!!! Cool huh? bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Karen75 Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 This is great ladies!! This ia another issue that my bf and I contend with. He is in the habit of putting her in her crib and if she is not alseep in 5 minutes he says "She's not sleeping, I'm gonna go get her." It could be 9 at night and he'll do this. I have my opinion of leaving her there to cry but now I can back it with some information that sounds more official and understandable than "If you get her out of the crib and bring her back down here, I will kill myself with a kitchen knife" What would you ladies do about constant whining? I will ask her if she wants something to drink and as soon as she gets the idea in her head, she starts the whining until she has it in her hand. My first instinct is to tell her that she will not get anything until she stops whining.. Thanks! K Sorry to hijack your post! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teag Posted December 8, 2004 Author Share Posted December 8, 2004 Thank you all, I'm a new mom & my mom doesn't have much advice b/c she let me sleep with her until I was 5 or 6. I refuse to start that habit. She does have a night light & I think its just attention too, its just so hard to listen to her & I live in a 2 story town house apartment so my neighbors are close but no complaints yet thankfully. She gotten alittle spoiled, I try not to let her be the boss, thats my husband, he babies her when she's mad or upset & he wonders why she doesn't listen to him. But thank you all so much. I'll let her scream but will check on her. I hope this won't last too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teag Posted December 8, 2004 Author Share Posted December 8, 2004 Karen75- Sorry to hijack your post Hey I don't mind this is helping me out too, so go right on ahead all you want. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 I went through the exact same thing and still do with my 2 yr old. You just have to let her cry herself to sleep because when you go in there she is winning. What I did was go in there and explain to her it's bedtime. I'd give her a sippy and she'd throw it. I'd leave and return 15 minutes later. She'd do it again, so 30 mins later I go in. AFter that every 30 mins but she seemed to get the idea after awhile and just go to sleep. Shes testing you and at this age they do know how to manipulate their parents a bit. Just let her cry as long as shes been fed and is dry. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Danyana Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 It's not easy to let your child "cry" things out however i have learned myself from experience that it does WORK:) My daughter still is not such a wonderful sleeper but she goes to sleep in her own and she stay's there..It takes a great deal of patience...hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Are there any parents who didn't go thru this with their kids!?! It is sooooo hard to listen to her screaming I know. I did the walk out, go back in 10 minutes and just stand at the door (did not turn the light on -- she had a nitelite) and calmly told her to be quiet and go to sleep. That helped sometimes. I did the waffles for breakfast if she went to bed and didn't scream and cold cereal if she did (she didn't like cold cereal and adored waffles) and that helped some, but at that age they don't always think so far ahead. I loved reading a story to her at bedtime, but I changed that and began reading her a story in the morning instead and that helped a lot because she really did look forward to that in the morning and I left the book up where she could see it at night. If she cried at night when I got her up in the morning I would turn the book face-down and not read to her that day. If she had two good nights in a row she would get a bed-time story and a morning story. You need to get your husband on the same page and show a united front in dealing with her. If she cries have him stand in the doorway and tell her to go to sleep. Don't let her break you down. With my son all he needed to hear was daddy's deep voice telling him that everything was fine and to GO TO SLEEP. He stopped after a couple of weeks. It took my daughter longer. This phase WILL pass. Oh, and my daughters blankie was tied to the crib so if she threw it out it didn't go far and she could retrieve it herself. come to think of it -- I trained all the new puppies the same way! They would cry in their crates at night. Sometimes I left a radio on low for them (did that too with my kids). Although, I must admit I brought the puppy crates into the bedroom at night for a while and slept with one hand hanging over the side of the bed and in the crate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teag Posted December 15, 2004 Author Share Posted December 15, 2004 I have started leting her "scream it out" but check on her after 15 minutes & its getting slowly getting better. She has one of those aquariam music things that attach to her crib & I turn just the music on, we call it her Nemo(she LOVES the movie Finding Nemo) and that has helped alittle. Now she getting up at night wanting me to rock her, like last night she screamed out @ 3am & when I went to check on her she said I want Rock rock & pointed to the glider So I rocked her for about 5 minutes then put her back down & she cryed for about 10 minutes but went back to sleep. I'm wondering if she had a nightmare or something, she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night very often but I don't let her see anything violent on TV. I don't know, But Thank You all for the help, it's working, it just kills me to listen to her cry but she's fine & I know that & its getting better. And again Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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