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Would you leave your sick teenage child behind to on a trip?


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I am beside myself at this moment and this might be more of rant than anything else but here it goes:

 

My friend has an 18 yo daughter living full time with her, father is out of the picture.

 

Last night the daughter had to be brought to the emergency for respiratory distress. Turns out she had a blood clot on her lungs. This is a life threatening situation !

 

My friend is scheduled to fly out to Mexico for 2 weeks vacation with her boyfriend tomorrow.

 

Would you go? I would never ever leave my daughter under these conditions no matter how much money I put on that trip!! I am so shocked my friend is picking her dead beat boyfriend/ trip over her sick child ! I almost terminated our friendship over it.

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seekingpeaceinlove

Nope, I wouldn't go. Yes, her daughter girl may legally be an "adult" at 18yo but she is STILL her child. It boggles my mind when I see the misplaced priorities of some parents.

 

Did you confront your friend about this? Why won't she at least postpone her trip?

 

I don't know how your friend could possibly enjoy herself on vacation knowing her daughter is sick and recovering.

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Yes I did confront her, these types of things really get to me. I asked her if she realizes that her daughter had come very close to dying! and after a blood clot you have to be closely supervised because you are at risk of having another one shortly after.

 

She said I made her feel guilty, geezz!

 

She said she asked her daughter if she wanted her to stay home instead of heading to her trip and her daughter said she could go, which I find even more troublesome!! Since when you let a teenager of 18 decide if she needs close attention or not!

 

Her daughter will go stay at her boyfriend's house. His family will take care of her.

 

sigh...

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Under those circumstances no.

 

If my kid had the chicken pox, I might go to the store or even out to dinner.

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you did the right thing in expressing your concern. The answer is yes i would tell the friend to stay home and reschedule the trip.Mexico will always be there.Sadly it can't be said of family members.

 

When my mother was critical icu patient my one brother left for his vacation to mexico and had the audacity to send pictures to us who held vigil with my mom. some folks believe in living in the moment,be damned the rest of the world....

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...and had the audacity to send pictures to us who held vigil with my mom. some folks believe in living in the moment,be damned the rest of the world....

 

Wow! that is mind blowing!

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Never something that serious!!!!! I don't care if my "child" were 30!!!

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seekingpeaceinlove

Wow, her daughter is going to be taken care of by her bf's family? Ridiculous. Poor daughter.

 

I would have a hard time respecting someone that selfish.

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I am having a hard time. My daughter is 27 and I would not leave town for much less than a clot on the lung.

 

So her daughter got out of the hospital today with a bunch of medicine to take. They went to the drug store to get those prescriptions and my friend asked the pharmacist if she is ok to leave for Mexico. Pharmacist said yes if something happens she'd be treated as a priority at hospital. *facepalm*

 

Because a stranger, a pharmacist, told her this, she is happy she can leave with peace of mind. 24 hours ago her daughter was getting an enoxaparin shot in emergency room and her mind was already made up she was going to mexico anyway.

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A very good friend of mine died from that when we were in our early 20s. Not something to be taken lightly.

 

Is there something the doctors may have told her that you're unaware of? Something that may indicate that her daughter will be okay? I find it hard to believe a parent would leave a child, no matter what their age, when they are having medical complications this serious.

 

edited after reading your last post: I don't have much else to say other than I feel physically ill when I hear about blood clots in the lung. It causes me a lot of anxiety to this day. I don't know how I would handle this.

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No way Gaeta would I go and as others have already said, for less than this.

 

She's going? I know, what do you do about this? *facepalm* exactly.

 

If you are close with her daughter, bring soup, check up on her, give her or her boyfriend's parents your 24/hr. phone #.

 

Friend? Time tells all. She's still your friend if you want but you know her better now.

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whichwayisup
I am beside myself at this moment and this might be more of rant than anything else but here it goes:

 

My friend has an 18 yo daughter living full time with her, father is out of the picture.

 

Last night the daughter had to be brought to the emergency for respiratory distress. Turns out she had a blood clot on her lungs. This is a life threatening situation !

 

My friend is scheduled to fly out to Mexico for 2 weeks vacation with her boyfriend tomorrow.

 

Would you go? I would never ever leave my daughter under these conditions no matter how much money I put on that trip!! I am so shocked my friend is picking her dead beat boyfriend/ trip over her sick child ! I almost terminated our friendship over it.

 

NO WAY would I go.

 

Your friend needs to get her priorities straight. Her daughter is NUMBER ONE, especially right now! WTF. Reading this really has bothered me.

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whichwayisup
Yes I did confront her, these types of things really get to me. I asked her if she realizes that her daughter had come very close to dying! and after a blood clot you have to be closely supervised because you are at risk of having another one shortly after.

 

She said I made her feel guilty, geezz!

 

She said she asked her daughter if she wanted her to stay home instead of heading to her trip and her daughter said she could go, which I find even more troublesome!! Since when you let a teenager of 18 decide if she needs close attention or not!

 

Her daughter will go stay at her boyfriend's house. His family will take care of her.

 

sigh...

 

Sadly, her daughter will always remember that her mom bailed on her when she needed her mom most.

The daughter sounds like a sweet girl and probably said for her mom to go because her mom put her on the spot, didn't want to cause money issues.

 

Bless her boyfriends family for looking after her.

 

Bolded. GOOD, she SHOULD feel guilty!

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whichwayisup
I am having a hard time. My daughter is 27 and I would not leave town for much less than a clot on the lung.

 

So her daughter got out of the hospital today with a bunch of medicine to take. They went to the drug store to get those prescriptions and my friend asked the pharmacist if she is ok to leave for Mexico. Pharmacist said yes if something happens she'd be treated as a priority at hospital. *facepalm*

 

Because a stranger, a pharmacist, told her this, she is happy she can leave with peace of mind. 24 hours ago her daughter was getting an enoxaparin shot in emergency room and her mind was already made up she was going to mexico anyway.

 

Well, maybe you need to distance yourself from your friend. Not sure how you respect her after this, or rely on her.

 

I'm sitting here in shock and feeling so angry on behalf of her daughter!

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What a terrible mother. If the 18-yo girl had just had a standard cold or such, then it might be excusable, but this is way too serious to justify leaving her.

 

If your friend will absolutely not be swayed, in your place I'd check in to see if her daughter is okay every so often when she is away. When she returns, I'd probably terminate the friendship.

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The daughter sounds like a sweet girl and probably said for her mom to go because her mom put her on the spot, didn't want to cause money issues.

 

She is a sweet girl, very quiet, talented, introverted, so yes definitely she did not want to be the one to ruin her mom's trip. Where she is staying they are really good and caring people though, at least.

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Wow.

 

My mother would fly from where she resides in Asia, to where I live in Australia, immediately, upon hearing I'd had a blood clot on the lungs...

 

When I was little and I fell over and needed stitches on my chin, my dad flew home from a business trip interstate immediately, with a large fluffy toy in tow, even though he ran the risk of losing the highly paid job he had at the time.

 

I can't understand why this woman lacks the instinct to rush to her child's side and stay there at all costs, but it happens...

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She is a sweet girl, very quiet, talented, introverted, so yes definitely she did not want to be the one to ruin her mom's trip. Where she is staying they are really good and caring people though, at least.

 

:sick:

 

What a great consolation, that her boyfriends parents care more about her than her own mother......

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Hope Shimmers

This is an absolutely horrific example of parenting. It's end-the-friendship worthy, in my opinion. This woman is selfish beyond belief.

 

She was diagnosed with a blood clot in her lung LAST NIGHT?!?! This young women is not out of the woods yet, and she could die. I'm sure she is receiving treatment and hopefully all will go well, but it's a possibility.

 

This kind of thing just makes me sick.

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I see all of this as rather nebulous.

 

What is the medical history? What did the releasing physician say. Nobody knows any of this other than the mother (if the daughter, an adult, has allowed it.)

 

Blood clot? Again...somewhat vague and questionable. What was the actual terminology used.

 

Three people know the facts...doctor, patient and probably mom. The doctor may have some reason to go 'meh...don't worry about it, it is just...'. Or the doctor may have said the reverse. 'This is a major concern and...'.

 

Bottom line...this is their personal business. Nobody has info to make any judgement on.

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Hope Shimmers
As a nurse I see all of this as rather nebulous.

 

What is the medical history? What did the releasing physician say. Nobody knows any of this other than the mother (if the daughter, an adult, has allowed it.)

 

Blood clot? Again...somewhat vague and questionable. What was the actual terminology used.

 

Three people know the facts...doctor, patient and probably mom. The doctor may have some reason to go 'meh...don't worry about it, it is just...'. Or the doctor may have said the reverse. 'This is a major concern and...'.

 

Bottom line...this is their personal business. Nobody has info to make any judgement on.

 

I don't see it as "nebulous" at all. I am fully aware of the potential outcomes. A blood clot identified as such is serious business. What other terminology do you want? We both know it as 'pulmonary embolism' and I'm taking the OP at her word.

 

It's been less than 24 hours, and you can do a literature search and document that no one (including the treating physicians) can guarantee any outcome at that point in time. It is potentially fatal. In all cases, so the details don't change.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed reference to what they do for a living and holding themselves out as a professional
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I see all of this as rather nebulous.

 

What is the medical history? What did the releasing physician say. Nobody knows any of this other than the mother (if the daughter, an adult, has allowed it.)

 

Blood clot? Again...somewhat vague and questionable. What was the actual terminology used.

 

Three people know the facts...doctor, patient and probably mom. The doctor may have some reason to go 'meh...don't worry about it, it is just...'. Or the doctor may have said the reverse. 'This is a major concern and...'.

 

Bottom line...this is their personal business. Nobody has info to make any judgement on.

 

Actually this is a forum, and the OP asked for our opinions and advisal, I think that qualifies as us being able to help based on the posters topic.

 

Blood clot is not "vague" no matter where it is in the human body. Not sure what field of nursing you are in, but I hope you do not speak to the patient with such indifference.

 

Doctors are not perfect or godly.

 

Luckily the OP shared that the daughter will have adult supervision or care during her mothers trip out of country.

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I don't see it as "nebulous" at all. I am fully aware of the potential outcomes. A blood clot identified as such is serious business. What other terminology do you want? We both know it as 'pulmonary embolism' and I'm taking the OP at her word.

 

It's been less than 24 hours, and you can do a literature search and document that no one (including the treating physicians) can guarantee any outcome at that point in time. It is potentially fatal. In all cases, so the details don't change.

 

Huh? The OP? This isn't her doctor or medical history. It isn't the medical history of her friend she talked to....it is the medical history of an adult who 'may' have shared info with her mother who is not a health professional and then shared it with a friend. This is all thrice removed from the situation which is CONFIDENTIAL.

 

And no, a clot is not just 'a clot'. There are a dozen variables the releasing physician would take into account. We are privy to ZERO of these.

 

Soon we'll hear stories of 'this' case and 'that' case which are totally unrelated and irrelevant.

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I used the term blood clot because English isn't my native language.

 

There is a blood test that will confirm you have a blood clot traveling in your body, that test came back positive. She was in respiratory distress they had to poke her with that long needle in her tummy to thin her blood ASAP. I don't consider that minimal.

 

Saying she is 18 and an adult is idiotic. I don't consider an 18 year old an adult in the full meaning of the word. She is a teenage girl, full time in school, financially dependent of her mother. At 18 you still need the protection, the care and the guidance of your parent. My daughter is 27 and there is no way in hell I would leave her after an event like this.

 

Actually my daughter (27) is scheduled for a elbow surgery next Wednesday. I will take her to the hospital, I will stand by her till they come and get her, I will stay with her till she is released from the hospital then I will take her to my home and nurse her back to health, because that is what mothers do !

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