Teens (13yo) and explicit video games

[mammasita]

So, the newest Grand Theft Auto apparently has full on first person sex in it. My sons father is against getting it for my son. He is OK with all of the violence in the games but is NOT ok with this - the full on first person sex that's included in this newest version.

 

I haven't seen it yet, so I'm torn. I'm going to look it up so my opinion may change BUT I'm of the thought that its a game. I cannot protect my child from seeing these things, he will likely see it at a friends house, on the internet or elsewhere. All I can do is TEACH him what is right and wrong and talk to him about stuff - which I do.

 

Should we not let him have this game? What do you think?

[somedude81]

Why is it OK for your son to see very graphic violence but not sex?

 

There is also a ton of foul language.

 

BTW, GTA 5 is rated M for good reason.

 

ESRB ratings guide.

[mammasita]

Why is it OK for your son to see very graphic violence but not sex?

 

There is also a ton of foul language.

 

BTW, GTA 5 is rated M for good reason.

 

ESRB ratings guide.

 

That's his dads view on the violence, not mine.

 

Personally, I'd rather let him watch the sex over the violence.

 

Thanks for that link BTW!

[Art_Critic]

I think your hubby is right.

 

Grand Theft Auto V

 

Fellatio, necrophilia etc etc...... also.. The words “f**k,” “c*nt,” and “the n word” can be heard in the dialog.

 

Give your money to some other company who makes games age appropriate for your teen

[somedude81]

That's his dads view on the violence, not mine.

 

Personally, I'd rather let him watch the sex over the violence.

 

Thanks for that link BTW!

 

Ah, so the father is OK with the violence but not the sex. It's interesting to me how some people are like that.

 

Either way it's definitely not a game for kids.

[xxoo]

I wouldn't buy it, and I wouldn't allow it to be played in my home.

 

It's true that he may play it elsewhere, but I think those boundaries are reasonable. You can still talk to him about it.

[Woggle]

I have it and it is not appropriate for kids.

[mammasita]

Thanks guys.

 

I took a look at some of the youtube clips after I posted.....yeah I'm going to pass on that game for him for a few more years.

 

That's a great point xxoo, have at it at a friends house, but I'm not buying it.

[Omei]

Tbh its likely the 13 year old boy has already seen porn or checked out nudes with his friends.

 

I am not saying you should approve ok just saying as a young male teen hes prob seen a lot more than GTA's content without your knowledge.

 

When I was 13 everyone in my class was watching south park (I wasn't allowed) didnt mean I didn't watch it lol

Edited December 3, 2014 by Omei

[mammasita]

Tbh its likely the 13 year old boy has already seen porn or checked out nudes with his friends.

 

I am not saying you should approve ok just saying as a young male teen hes prob seen a lot more than GTA's content without your knowledge.

 

When I was 13 everyone in my class was watching south park (I wasn't allowed) didnt mean I didn't watch it lol

 

 

Oh I absolutely agree, I know he has LOL

 

That's why I was on the fence. I just wasn't sure if I should be the "cool mom" and buy it or wait a few years. Its a given he will see the stuff on line or play it somewhere else.

[Art_Critic]

IMO.. Letting your child view things like porn or violence or derogatory video games isn't being a cool Mom.. it is being the opposite I would think..and being cool to him and his friends should take a back seat to trying to protect him and be his parent

 

This game isn't on the edge of him being able to understand the graphic violence and sex he is too young to be exposed to that by a willing parent...IMO

[bathtub-row]

I find it hard to believe that parents let their kids play these games. Both the violence and sex are completely unacceptable.

[bathtub-row]

Oh I absolutely agree, I know he has LOL

 

That's why I was on the fence. I just wasn't sure if I should be the "cool mom" and buy it or wait a few years. Its a given he will see the stuff on line or play it somewhere else.

 

I think your rationale on this whole topic is flawed. It doesn't matter if he sees it elsewhere. Your rejection of it is a clear enough message to him that it's not ok. And I'd also give up this idea of being a cool mom when your son's welfare is at stake. I was about the most uncool mom you could imagine when it came to things like that. Violent games, movies, etc were completely forbidden in my house. The truth is, no matter how much kids act like they rebel against your rules, they crave guidance. Allowing unwholesome things into your home is the worst kind of guidance they could get.

[Els]

13yo is far too young to be playing that game IMO.

[Woggle]

GTA is pretty much the only game I play but it clearly is not suitable for kids. It is made for adults.

[genuinelyloverly7]

I'm just going to go ahead and say it- I don't think anyone should play those games. Why is it okay to promote to anyone of any age that it is fun to beat, murder, rob, rape, and degrade other living beings? Granted, I've watched scary movies and cop-inspired TV shows where there is more gore than Saw (I'm looking at you Bones!) so I'm not saying that art, or entertainment as the case may be, shouldn't incorporate those darker aspects of our reality, but to play that dark side up as the pinnacle of that form of media is absurd and even debasing to our existence as conscious and supposedly intelligent human beings. And the only sex shown on TV (where kids are more likely to see it than a movie) is revenge-based, drama-infused, angry, sad, et cetera. (I'm looking at you, abc broadcasting, otherwise known as the teenage-sex-drama capitol of programming- I HATE that they are billed as a family station!!!!!!!!!!) As I don't have a TV any more, if I am wrong I'd love to know about some beautiful sex scenes on TV… but I doubt there are any.

 

As this thread is about kids, I'll focus on that. I don't think that kids should see that kind of stuff. The violence stuff. But kids will get curious. And they want and need to push their boundaries as part of their growth process. So a little mild this or that is fine. And what this or that is depends on your family. As to the sex, kids shouldn't be forced to see that kind of thing (I mean passively or socially forced, not forced forced) but it shouldn't be hidden from them either.

 

In fact, I believe our kids need a healthier example of sex- porn is too easily available and its what kids get their hands on first. Inevitably. Its either that or experimentation with themselves (my first preference) or some other kid. Those two outcomes are FAR preferable to them watching/reading porn.

 

The symbolic concepts in the best porn out there is too complicated for kids to deal with emotionally. And that is hardly the majority- a lot of porn is horribly degrading to the people in it, and the worst thing is that most people think its not degrading at all! I was one for a long time, so I'm not casting stones- and I still like watching sex. But I am waaaaay more selective in what I consider erotic/sexy/raunchy. If the subconscious misogyny in porn wasn't so rampant, I wouldn't have so many problems with it. I think sex should be seen, recorded, celebrated, glorified. But beautiful, spiritually fulfilling sex. Love making. Not what we see on the usual porn. And let me clarify that. All forms of sexual expression- from the darkest fantasies to the most innocent of embraces, should be celebrated. SO LONG AS THEY HURT NO-ONE (who didn't consent to it… The delicate balance of BDSM is a whole other thread entirely).

 

Okay, soap-box folded away.

 

 

So to clarify- maybe you should see how the male character in the sex scene (the role model for your son in this scenario) is treating the situation and the person who he is partnering with. Is this a good example of healthy sex?

Edited December 4, 2014 by genuinelyloverly7
added

[mammasita]

I agree with all that's been said.

 

My BF actually said this to me "Its not your job to be his friend right now, you can be his friend when he moves out"

 

In other words, be a parent and set boundaries. **** being cool . Touché

[Lokin4AReason]

its a bit to young at 13 ( IMO ) to play a game like that .... there are some things that a 13 yr old should nt be exposed to ( ie like this game ) he ll have plenty of time at the ripe age of 18 to get this if he decides, if he still interested playing this game .... your responsible is being a parent and filter out such things like this and laying your foot down

[bathtub-row]

I'm just going to go ahead and say it- I don't think anyone should play those games.

 

I completely agree with this post. I recall that one of my ex's used to play a game where the graphics were very real (as they all are now). I'm not a game player but he kept asking me to try it. So, I watched him one day and about 3 minutes into the game, some dogs came running at him and he shot them and they fell to the ground and blood went everywhere.

 

I honestly almost threw up.

 

At first, I thought my reaction was ridiculous but then I realized that my reaction was realistic. Why shouldn't I be sickened watching animals get shot and seeing their blood go everywhere?

 

I think it's very important to realize that what we feed our minds is what we think about, what we become. For children, this is even more critical because what they see and do is shaping their minds and their perspectives. It becomes their 'normal'.

[preraph]

Why would any parent okay letting their kid watch a game that celebrates violence and degrading women? Come on, use your common sense. Anything like this that you allow, you are endorsing what is going on in it. These games teach antipathy.

 

I have a best friend who used to work in the film industry. So she thinks it's okay to let her small kids watch extremely violent stuff because she explains to them how it's all done with special effects etc. I spent Thanksgiving over at her house and her 8 year old kept wanting me to go right outside the back door onto the patio and just beyond to the swing set with her, so I did. And of course, she kept begging me to stay out there longer, and I said, You stay out here and enjoy the pretty weather, I need to go help wash dishes." She said, "I'm afraid to be out here alone." I said, "There's no reason to be at all afraid out here as long as you don't go wandering off." She said she was especially afraid out there at night. I asked why. She said, "I think I've watched too many scary movies." I'm sure her mother would poo-poo her for this.

 

She's just a child. So is a 13 year old. The stuff that goes into their brains at these young ages becomes hard-wired and way more a part of them than it does after their brain is mostly finished developing. Kids want to try out what they see. Reference yesterday's news, the accidental shooting by a 17 year old boy of his 16 year old best friend while visiting the grandparents and playing with their gun. I'm not saying watching video games or violent movies will make a 100 percent mentally stable kid raised with love and good values violent, but I am saying it's no coincidence that every single one of the mass child or teenage killers in the last 10 years were thoroughly entrenched in violent video games. So if anything is off inside, these games not only validate but teach you how to do it. It's STUPID to let kids watch them until they're of legal age and you can't stop them.

Edited December 5, 2014 by preraph

[preraph]

I wanted to add one thing to my post above. The common excuse for allowing kids to watch games their parents know are not appropriate is "they will see them anyway over at a friend's," and this is true. But the important thing is that they know you disapprove of them and why and do not endorse them watching them, which sends a message that you endorse the content as well.

[proactivedreamer]

I am not a parent, but I know very well it is not easy to be one. My parents, however, never tried to be my "friend" or be "cool". I understand people who are parents want to try to be cool because they feel that their children will likely feel open with them, but I don't think those methods work in the long run. I am happy my parents set boundaries, and let me know what they would and would not accept. At the time, I didn't really understand why they had so many rules, but now I can see that these things helped me be the person I am today. I, personally, would not allow that game in my household. Parents are suppose to set an example, and teach their children to be the best people they can be.

[WomenWubber]

So, the newest Grand Theft Auto apparently has full on first person sex in it. My sons father is against getting it for my son. He is OK with all of the violence in the games but is NOT ok with this - the full on first person sex that's included in this newest version.

 

I haven't seen it yet, so I'm torn. I'm going to look it up so my opinion may change BUT I'm of the thought that its a game. I cannot protect my child from seeing these things, he will likely see it at a friends house, on the internet or elsewhere. All I can do is TEACH him what is right and wrong and talk to him about stuff - which I do.

 

Should we not let him have this game? What do you think?

 

Buying your son the game will teach him it's ok for him to see its content, regardless of whatever talk you've had with him.

 

Actions speak louder than words. Set the example. Be the example.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Well, I'll chime in my opinion here.

 

How kid's handle gaming is in my opinion dependent on the kid themselves, and the kid's parents equally.

 

For example, I started playing video games in the late 1980's / early 1990's era as a very young kid, and have retained my passion for playing games well over the previous decades. I do remember specifically as a young child, my parent's telling me that what happens in games...Is not how things work in the real world, they created a divide between reality and fictitious entertainment for me.

 

I've never once in my entire life EVER had any issue's separating what happens in gaming vs what happen's in reality. Sure over the years I've played many games (Grand Theft Auto Included) where the central theme was murder, death and in general just causing as much mayhem as possible. But I always knew that it was JUST a game.

 

At one point in time I would have argued in favor of total innocence for video games, however I have a 5 year old nephew who himself plays violent games, Unfortunately his mother, my sister, hasn't taken the time to explain to him the difference between gaming and reality. Everything he does he associate's with combat and destruction, both in game and in reality. Sadly he's already been banned from one school for violent tendencies and being to physically aggressive with his classmates. It does not help matters that he also happens to be larger and stronger than your average five year old.

 

My point being, at least from what I've seen and experienced, It's your responsibility as a parent to know if your child has the mental capacity to separate reality from video games, and it is also your job to explain to them the difference's between reality and gaming. Inevitably they will play violent games at some point in their lives...We live in an ever advancing technological society, gaming is not only a big part of the past 20 years and the present, but it's going to be an even bigger part of the future.

 

In closing.

 

I will say that it's probably not to wise to fully expose a young child to a game like Grand Theft Auto simply because things will happen in the game that their undeveloped brains will not be able to process correctly.

 

Best Wishes OP.

Edited December 10, 2014 by MercuryMorrison1