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If your daughter was a prostitute, would you want to be told?


JamesM

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(MODS: I think this is the place for this question. If not, feel free to move it. I apologize if I was wrong.)

 

So here is the question that a friend posed to me....

 

If your daughter was (hypothetically as it is not mine and probably not yours) was advertising on CL or BP and offering her services to men, would you want to know even if she was an adult?

 

And the reverse side, if you knew of someone whose daughter was offering her "time" for money, would you inform the parents? What if the parents were not friends, but you knew who they were?

 

Yes, I ask for a reason. A few months ago, there was in Michigan a double murder. The boyfriend was manipulating the girlfriend into selling her body on CL. A "client" for some unknown reason killed them both and himself. The parents of the girl knew that the BF was bad influence but they did not know the rest.

 

And another example. At the beginning of the year, a young lady in her mid twenties died from heroin overdose. Her obit made her out to be quite the gal, and yet it was revealed that she was also a prostitute and her BF was her pimp. I don't know if her parents knew, but it didn't sound like it.

 

Now this friend has learned of a young lady in her mid twenties (who could be my daughter but isn't) who is doing the same thing. You know how some girls who are prostitutes look like they fit the image? (No offense to anyone). This one doesn't. She looks very innocent and may be in out of her head, or she may have started on drugs. She just started within the past few months. I know who her parents are but I have never met them and they don't live here. I think I know who her BF's parents but again, I have never met them (yes, it gets confusing).

 

So, would you tell the parents? Would you want to know as parents if you couldn't do anything about it?

 

I am saying yes and no. Yes, because she may be "rescued" and no, because she is an adult.

 

Yet if it was my daughter, then I think I would want to know so that I could attempt everything to rescue her. On the other hand, the parents may have already tried. I don't know.

 

Comments?

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This logic of "she is an adult" is poorly met. Reason- Even adults need a guiding hand ....Parenting doesn't stop at the adult age, it continues. So lets just toss that logic parlayed, into the garbage.

 

This "she can do what she wants" as an adult carries consequences. A responsible parent or adult friend would find ways to curtail this person from such a life choice.

 

I have zero desire to be around an environment that promotes this behavior, yet should it be asked to intercede, I'd have no qualms in doing so. So the answer is YES I'd share with the family and allow them to decide the next step in efforts.

 

Burying ones head in the sand certainly hasn't worked has it?

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I'd probably inform them, but in an anonymous fashion, and with good proof.

 

That is the question...what kind of proof? Is the BP ad enough to convince someone?

 

Here's a better question, how did your 'friend' find out ?

 

I knew when I said "friend," it could get ME in trouble. :laugh:

 

Anyhow, he works with her (and no that is not me) at a retail outlet. He recognized her picture from a BP ad. As he is older and doesn't know her as a friend, he didn't feel comfortable in approaching her. The ad doesn't say she will engage in any sexual activity. Yet being in the category it is in makes one quite suspicious.

 

My thought was to simply talk to her. Even the embarrassment might be enough to make her realize what she is doing. On the other hand, if it IS innocent, then it would embarrass him.

 

So the reason for my thread...if it was my daughter, I would hope someone would at the least talk to her. And yet....would I want to know if I could do nothing about it?

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If someone is doing heroin and prostituting, it's a pretty sure bet her parents are not June and Ward Cleaver. Her childhood is likely the source of pain and lack of boundaries that would drive her to these extremes. If she's of age, I wouldn't interfere.

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LivingWaterPlease

Anyhow, he works with her (and no that is not me) at a retail outlet. He recognized her picture from a BP ad. As he is older and doesn't know her as a friend, he didn't feel comfortable in approaching her. The ad doesn't say she will engage in any sexual activity. Yet being in the category it is in makes one quite suspicious.

 

My thought was to simply talk to her. Even the embarrassment might be enough to make her realize what she is doing. On the other hand, if it IS innocent, then it would embarrass him.

 

So the reason for my thread...if it was my daughter, I would hope someone would at the least talk to her. And yet....would I want to know if I could do nothing about it?

 

As a parent, I would want to know and believe there are things others can do to help someone in this type situation.

 

Also, a person could approach her and mention that she may want to know that someone may have posted her photo in that section of BP. What's BP, btw?

 

They could also tell the parents her photo may have been stolen and posted in that section. Maybe less embarrassing to approach it that way. And maybe that's really the case and she'd want to know about it.

 

I watched a news video online recently that was reporting people were lifting the heads off celebrities' photos, attaching them to pornographic images and posting them.

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I don't buy into this "what you don't know doesn't hurt you" stuff! The way I see it is the longer you don't know the more opportunities you miss to make an impact. Anything else is just a fake reality - if a time bomb was ticking down and I had 60 seconds to live id wanna spend that time searching for the bomb and at least have tried than spend it like.. brushing my teeth in peaceful oblivion.

 

 

So, yeah, basically - Yes, id want to know.

 

 

Plus if it was my daughter and I then found out other people knew and I was sitting there in the dark then i'd just be tearing my hair out.

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Disillusioned
What is BP and what did the ad say?

 

British Petroleum... "Please buy our gas"?

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What is BP and what did the ad say?

 

BP is short for Back Page which is similar to Craigs List (CL) except it still allows ads that may imply prostitution.

 

I don't remember exactly what the ad said, but it implied more than it said. And the provocative pics led me to believe that what was implied was given.

 

That is not proof enough IMO. And maybe we are thinking too much.

 

But I brought up those examples in relation to the other thread about if your daughter did porn.

 

Personally, I don't feel that I have a good way (as of yet) to communicate to her parents (who I don't know). I was trying to think of a way that my friend could talk to her in private, but my guess is that if she is, then his talk means nothing, and if she isn't, then his talk will embarrass them both.

 

The question is....what would you do?

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I just had a look at backpage. I had never even heard of it. So it's broken down into categories with a section for dating and then there's the adult section that is broken down in categories like 'escorts, body rubs, strippers, etc', so if she's posted in the adult section she is probably doing something her parents wouldn't approve of.

 

 

If I didn't know the parents I probably wouldn't tell. I'm just not sure how one approaches total strangers with something like that.

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still_an_Angel

If I was the parent I would want to know. It's going to be hard to decide what to do next but my daughter's safety is paramount. I'll do more investigation before I do anything.

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