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My daughter just ruined my Birthday spirit today


EverLastluv

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Its amazing how kids grow up and fall out of love for the parents. My experience this morning with her made me unhappy all day at work. First of all when it was her birthday, I make sure she had a b-day cake, invite her friends had a big party etc. When her friends birthday party I always support by taking her to the store buy presents, take her to the party etc

 

Why when its my birthday she dont seem Joyfull? I was in the bed room she yells from the living room saying " happy birthday" thats it!

I then pick up from that and said, hey how come I dont get a hug or kiss she said she is doing something. After she finish still she did not came and give me a hug we ended up leaving the house to the car on the way to school still no hug or kiss ... I ask her why she being like that, all I got was " I thought you were already mad at me " OmGGGG ( my daughter just turn 13 yr Aug)

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my daughter just turn 13 yr Aug

You answered your own question.

 

At 13, they are myopic in their views on life and all around them. THEY are the center of the universe.

 

It will change, but you have to get through the teenage years first.

 

BTW, Happy Birthday.

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You answered your own question.

 

At 13, they are myopic in their views on life and all around them. THEY are the center of the universe.

 

It will change, but you have to get through the teenage years first.

 

BTW, Happy Birthday.

 

I can see its olny about her, I hope that change soon ;)

thank you ;)

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Happy birthday ELl!!

 

I can see its olny about her, I hope that change soon
Why not just hug her later, yeah should be the other way around, but hopefully will remind her how special you are to each other. (Maybe she is unhappy too today).
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Sounds like you have much value in such a special day .

 

happy Birthday!

 

When I stopped expecting things...things happened. I no longer expect any words of kindness on Birthday or Mothers Day. I stopped being self disappointed. Instead I count the blessings of making it another year ...You control your attitude, might as well make it a good one!

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My experience this morning with her made me unhappy all day at work. First of all when it was her birthday, I make sure she had...

 

Why when its my birthday she dont seem Joyfull?

 

You can't expect parity from your underage children. She's not going to make sure you have a birthday cake etc. I don't think you were exactly expecting that, but you were expecting her to be joyful for you on your birthday, which is not how most kids think. It takes awhile before they start seeing you as a separate person with your own needs, rather than as their provider. That's just the fact of having kids, so you need to accept it or you'll be disappointed for the next number of years. As we age, birthdays and having everyone treat us like we're special should become less important. That's more for parents to do for children, than children to do for parents.

 

A 13 year old's mood should not have the power to make you "unhappy all day at work." You will have a lot of unhappiness in the coming years if you let them.

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Are you still married? If so, then your husband (their dad) should be planning something for your bday. It's up to him to organize and push your daughter to make your day special.

 

Happy birthday!

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I agree, 13 year olds don't plan birthdays for their parents unless they have help from the other parent or relative. I think you are being a bit overly sensitive. My mom was easily upset by stuff like this too and you can't take things to heart too much with kids, especially adolescents. I'm sure she loves you in her own way and she did acknowlege you at least, so try not to think too hard about it. And happy birthday! :)

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Lernaean_Hydra

Children greet parental birthday's with the same fanfare and enthusiasm as parent's greet their children's. For parent's a birthday is especially significant because each year they can reflect back to the pregnancy, that first day they brought their little one home, etc, so much is made out of the day. Children obviously do not have that same nostalgia.

 

Anyway, OP she's 13, teenage girl's are notoriously self-centered and moody so I wouldn't put too much stock into her actions (or lack thereof) on your birthday, nor would I let it ruin your day. Draw yourself a nice bath, have a glass of wine and maybe treat yourself to some nice takeout but whatever you do, don't let yourself feel down about this.

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Happy Belated Birthday OP. Hope you were able to have a great day in spite of your feelings about you daughter's attitude.

 

 

I agree with everything that's already been said. Kids and young teens are not emotionally mature enough to really be joyful for somebody else. Their happiness is all about them and how they feel. It's just the way it is.

 

 

Is this your first teenager? You can't let yourself be overly sensitive to the things teenagers will do and say. If you take everything to heart you will wind up miserable. When my boys were young and demanding, I'd try to teach them that everything is not about them but I also used to smile a bit at how they thought the whole world revolved around them because I could remember being the same when I was their age. You just can't take it personally.

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You can't expect parity from your underage children. She's not going to make sure you have a birthday cake etc. I don't think you were exactly expecting that, but you were expecting her to be joyful for you on your birthday, which is not how most kids think. It takes awhile before they start seeing you as a separate person with your own needs, rather than as their provider. That's just the fact of having kids, so you need to accept it or you'll be disappointed for the next number of years. As we age, birthdays and having everyone treat us like we're special should become less important. That's more for parents to do for children, than children to do for parents.

 

A 13 year old's mood should not have the power to make you "unhappy all day at work." You will have a lot of unhappiness in the coming years if you let them.

 

thanks so much for this thought, really hand me thingking and you are right! :)

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Happy Belated Birthday OP. Hope you were able to have a great day in spite of your feelings about you daughter's attitude.

 

 

I agree with everything that's already been said. Kids and young teens are not emotionally mature enough to really be joyful for somebody else. Their happiness is all about them and how they feel. It's just the way it is.

 

 

Is this your first teenager? You can't let yourself be overly sensitive to the things teenagers will do and say. If you take everything to heart you will wind up miserable. When my boys were young and demanding, I'd try to teach them that everything is not about them but I also used to smile a bit at how they thought the whole world revolved around them because I could remember being the same when I was their age. You just can't take it personally.

 

yes, my only daughter. I would teach her now that everythig is not about her... I think it was all me doing. Doing everythinga and giving and giving it seem like she was used to her receiving all the attention only. I would think as they get older they have some kind of common sense ;) I will keep that in mind and start breaking that wall where she dont think its not all about her olny. Thank you!

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Thank Everyone, for the Birthday wishes. I actually had 2 birthday cakes as "presents" so my daughter thought....since there was enought. She rubbed cake all over my face and wanted to do the same to her friend as if it was a "food fight in the cafiteria in school" thats what it look like. There was Red velvetcake and ice cream cake all over. The appt was a mess. I was not happy the way she go about doing it ;) Of cource I had to ended up yelling at her to stop and talk to her.

 

I Did not plann a birthday party. My freinds just stop in with the cake and bring the meat to cook, and vaula there was a party lol

My family found out and said " oh you had a party and was not invited" OMGGG I had to explain that it was not planned ;)

 

Thanks again, have a good evening everyone.

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