How Often Is Normal?

[Leigh 87]

I am just curious when it comes to toddlers....

 

To the folks here who have toddlers, how often do they throw a tantrum?

 

The one I had been looking after was a total brat. He would throw a tantrum every single day that I tried to change him out of his pyjamas into his day clothes. And no it wasn't just me his mum said, plus the day care ladies told me he also did it to them too at first until he really got to know them.

 

He would also throw tantrums at dinner most nights when he wasn't aloud to spill his drink into his food:sick:

 

I disliked him immensely. Although I absolutely didn't show it. And I am a very kind and generous woman, always giving time and energy into people I don't know. I am not a child hater in general and I have been paid to look after several children, all of whom were lovely besides this one stupid brat. I just have such a strong dislike for brat toddlers, and I am curious as to why some of them throw so many tantrums where as others I have met, have not?

 

My parents said I threw one tantrum the entire time I was a toddler. They remember these things. I never spat the dummy the moment another person tried to change my clothes:sick: The one I looked after who was my next door neighbours 3 year old never once chucked a wobbly and I looked after him all day! The little Indian two year old never threw a tantrum until her mum tried to take her to day care because she has severe separation anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do your toddlers throw tantrums often? How often? What over?

[thefooloftheyear]

Just depends on the kid...

 

My daughter never threw a tantrum in her life...Its hard to believe how happy and content she was and still is..She rarely gets upset, but its never to a point of a tantrum..ever..She is a breeze...

 

Other kids are a horror show....And its not the parents in all the cases, although sometimes it is.....I have only one child, but you will often hear parents with multiple children state that one is easy and the other is a brat...

 

You are in a tough spot...Talk it over with the parents..

 

TFY

[jellybean89]

I am just curious when it comes to toddlers....

 

To the folks here who have toddlers, how often do they throw a tantrum?

 

The one I had been looking after was a total brat. He would throw a tantrum every single day that I tried to change him out of his pyjamas into his day clothes. And no it wasn't just me his mum said, plus the day care ladies told me he also did it to them too at first until he really got to know them.

 

He would also throw tantrums at dinner most nights when he wasn't aloud to spill his drink into his food:sick:

 

I disliked him immensely. Although I absolutely didn't show it. And I am a very kind and generous woman, always giving time and energy into people I don't know. I am not a child hater in general and I have been paid to look after several children, all of whom were lovely besides this one stupid brat. I just have such a strong dislike for brat toddlers, and I am curious as to why some of them throw so many tantrums where as others I have met, have not?

 

My parents said I threw one tantrum the entire time I was a toddler. They remember these things. I never spat the dummy the moment another person tried to change my clothes:sick: The one I looked after who was my next door neighbours 3 year old never once chucked a wobbly and I looked after him all day! The little Indian two year old never threw a tantrum until her mum tried to take her to day care because she has severe separation anxiety.

 

Do your toddlers throw tantrums often? How often? What over?

 

By continuing to call this toddler a brat shows me that you do not have children nor have you been around toddlers much. Toddler throw tantrums. ALL THE TIME. I highly doubt you only threw one tantrum as a toddler (ages 2 - 5). The tantrums are part of their growing and learning...they do not know how to express themselves because they are TODDLERS.

 

I'm shocked at that name calling of a child; I hope you do not watch him often.

[Leigh 87]

I never threw tantrums either, FOTY.....albeit once in my entire toddler years. And even that was short lived and because I was very over tired.

 

I left that job. I couldn't stand the toddler. And I couldn't stand the mother who said flippantly " it's really not difficult to change his clothes" YEAH right, only a very trained person with a diploma in child care would be able to put up with this monster. For real, I am NOT exaggerating...

 

Whenever he didn't get his way he would throw a tantrum. If he wanted to open the oven or handle his mums nail polish, I would take it off him and he would throw a tantrum.

 

I honestly don't know how parents can think their kids are cute and adorable when they are outright stupid brats.

 

I don't want kids now after seeing what stupid brats they can be. I mean come on, all toddlers throw a tantrum at some stage, yes it is normal but holy moly, some toddlers are outright not cute or the least bit lovable and if I were the mum, it would be a chore to have to raise a crappy toddler. I wouldn't think they were mummys angel...

 

This brat has totally put me off having kids. I don't want to raise a toddler who I do all the right things with and who still turns out to be a total annoyance.

[Hope Shimmers]

I never threw tantrums either, FOTY.....albeit once in my entire toddler years. And even that was short lived and because I was very over tired.

 

I left that job. I couldn't stand the toddler. And I couldn't stand the mother who said flippantly " it's really not difficult to change his clothes" YEAH right, only a very trained person with a diploma in child care would be able to put up with this monster. For real, I am NOT exaggerating...

 

Whenever he didn't get his way he would throw a tantrum. If he wanted to open the oven or handle his mums nail polish, I would take it off him and he would throw a tantrum.

 

I honestly don't know how parents can think their kids are cute and adorable when they are outright stupid brats.

 

I don't want kids now after seeing what stupid brats they can be. I mean come on, all toddlers throw a tantrum at some stage, yes it is normal but holy moly, some toddlers are outright not cute or the least bit lovable and if I were the mum, it would be a chore to have to raise a crappy toddler. I wouldn't think they were mummys angel...

 

This brat has totally put me off having kids. I don't want to raise a toddler who I do all the right things with and who still turns out to be a total annoyance.

 

It's probably good if you are put off having kids, because from this post you don't seem like you understand them at all. I was a nanny for years before I had my own kids. Toddlers throw tantrums (different for each kid based on personality) and you - the ADULT - are supposed to know how to deal with it, if taking care of children is what you do as a job. I'm sorry, but you don't seem very mature or that you know much about kids.

[Leigh 87]

By continuing to call this toddler a brat shows me that you do not have children nor have you been around toddlers much. Toddler throw tantrums. ALL THE TIME. I highly doubt you only threw one tantrum as a toddler (ages 2 - 5). The tantrums are part of their growing and learning...they do not know how to express themselves because they are TODDLERS.

 

I'm shocked at that name calling of a child; I hope you do not watch him often.

 

 

 

Sorry but they are sometimes brats.

 

It is just he truth, there is nothing cute or angelic about a toddler who throws tantrums every time they don't get what they want.

 

My parents remember me very well thanks, I never threw a tantrum, just because your kids were terrors doesn't mean every parents has the same deal as you.

 

I was an only child and so they remember everything.

 

I also know other parents who say their kids rarely ever throw tantrums so yeah, not ALL toddlers crack the sh*ts every single day.

 

I am a lovely nanny mostly, very attentive and protective of the kids needs, I simply dislike toddlers who throw tantrums.

 

I can tolerate the occasional tantrum sure, this is normal in my eyes and I never have am issue with it. But to throw a tantrum every day is terrible behaviour in my books and not something I could even get paid to deal with.

 

NOT all nannys like all toddlers and think ALL children are just he sweetest thing.

[Leigh 87]

It's probably good if you are put off having kids, because from this post you don't seem like you understand them at all. I was a nanny for years before I had my own kids. Toddlers throw tantrums (different for each kid based on personality) and you - the ADULT - are supposed to know how to deal with it, if taking care of children is what you do as a job. I'm sorry, but you don't seem very mature or that you know much about kids.

 

 

 

You cannot just deal with it. There is no obvious or sure fire way to make annoying toddler stop throwing a tantrum.

 

Adults are NOT supposed to just "know" how to shut them up.

 

Even their mothers don't always know.

 

I am an extremely kind and generous person but that doesn't mean I have to like all toddlers. Not all kind people naturally think : wow all kids are just the most beautiful thing".

 

MANY nannys and parents for that matter, call kids brats all the time because THEY CAN BE.

[Leigh 87]

Another point - some toddlers I have comforted appreciated it and just needed a hug, such as when one toddlers mother left and he cried.

 

Where as the toddler at he job I just left would kick me and bite me. He was a little sh*t. I could never bring myself to like or even love a little toddler who acted so deviant. His mum was very strict too so there was no excuse for his terrible behaviour.

 

What boggles me is, his mum never just let him get his own way all the time! She said NO, and took things away from him immediately if he wasn't aloud to play with them!

 

So yeah, he wasn't being spoilt at all. He was just a brat.

 

And I am normally good with children according to what others say around me. This is the first taste of a horror child I have had.

 

And no nanny is a casual thing I get paid to do whilst studying towards a professional career. Hence I can pick and choose the kids I deal with from now on since it is not a necessity that I work to support myself due to college allowance but yeah, I will try to take any casual work that comes my way with children that I can handle.

 

The more experienced nannys of course will know how to deal better with the brat toddlers and if they are crazy, they will actually enjoy dealing with them:D

[Hope Shimmers]

You cannot just deal with it. There is no obvious or sure fire way to make annoying toddler stop throwing a tantrum.

 

Adults are NOT supposed to just "know" how to shut them up.

 

Even their mothers don't always know.

 

I am an extremely kind and generous person but that doesn't mean I have to like all toddlers. Not all kind people naturally think : wow all kids are just the most beautiful thing".

 

MANY nannys and parents for that matter, call kids brats all the time because THEY CAN BE.

 

I didn't say know how to "shut them up".

 

You are best to get out of the childcare business. At least at this point in time you don't appear to have natural instincts toward children, you don't understand how to communicate with them or how to handle age-appropriate behavior. If and when you have kids of your own maybe then you will get it.

 

Not a big deal - kids aren't for everyone. Best of luck to you.

[Leigh 87]

OP: I'm on your side this time. I have seen some awful kids in my day. I'd wanna steer clear of that kid too.

 

 

 

And it is not like I am even a child hater. I genuinely enjoy some children hence why I decided to get more experience looking after them.

 

I don't have to work to support myself like most people since I study full time and have help, so I will quiet simply not opt to take on toddlers I dislike immensely, and take on jobs with reasonably behaved kids that yes, could throw the occasional tantrum.

 

I don't believe that most toddlers throw tantrums ALL the time though... really, not ALL of them are nightmares.

[Leigh 87]

I didn't say know how to "shut them up".

 

You are best to get out of the childcare business. At least at this point in time you don't appear to have natural instincts toward children, you don't understand how to communicate with them or how to handle age-appropriate behavior. If and when you have kids of your own maybe then you will get it.

 

Not a big deal - kids aren't for everyone. Best of luck to you.

 

 

 

I don't see why I shouldn't help parents look after their older children, I have tutored several kids before and I have been told by several people that I am naturally adept at handling older kids.

 

I also tried my hand at younger kids and it wasn't for me.

 

I am not naturally inept at handling ALL Kids, just the bratty toddlers.

[Hope Shimmers]

I don't see why I shouldn't help parents look after their older children, I have tutored several kids before and I have been told by several people that I am naturally adept at handling older kids.

 

I also tried my hand at younger kids and it wasn't for me.

 

I am not naturally inept at handling ALL Kids, just the bratty toddlers.

 

Agreed! Older kids would get away from that issue. If you are good with them then that is terrific. I was the opposite at your age - much better with the younger ones. Good luck!

[Leigh 87]

Agreed! Older kids would get away from that issue. If you are good with them then that is terrific. I was the opposite at your age - much better with the younger ones. Good luck!

 

 

 

You do bring up a very valid point.... I am not naturally inclined to deal with toddlers unless they are well behaved, which lets face it, is unpredictable and frankly, not their fault. They are toddlers. It's the parents and/or the child's hereditary disposition that is at fault.....

 

I will continue gaining experience with non toddlers. I will get work when I can, I have to go and get myself a police check and then register with agencies.

 

Until this point I looked after my next door neighbours three year old including driving him to get ice cream and minding him an entire work day several times.

Then I minded an Indian woman's baby and two year old for hours on end a few times each week. Which I quit because I wasn't getting paid enough and I had full time study to attend to and simply needed a minimum wage job, as I was getting less than half minimum wage so the hours I did hindered my studies and wasn't worth the money.

I also looked after an eight year old and a two and a half year old for nearly two months day in and day out.

Lastly - I tutored a handful of Asian children and taught them English overseas.

 

I have a reference way back from my home town plus my aunt who saw me with her children a lot PLUS another aunt who has also seen me with children.

 

I know I wont exactly get offered for jobs flying my way since I am unqualified and hate some toddlers and have not many professional references BAR ONE.

 

However, while studying full time I have nothing to lose by paying for a working with children check and then handing that and my resume over to nanny agencies. I may get some work and then build up my experience more and more until I get another reference or two and than in turn, more jobs and earning potential.

 

This is simply a side venture, a way of making some extra cash during and after my tertiary studies. I figure if I start now, then gaining years more experience and obtaining more references will put me in a position to earn some extra cash on the side from my professional job one day.

 

 

 

 

I will always know to steer clear of difficult toddlers; this is a side thing I want to do for extra cash, not something I have official qualifications in nor something I will ever do full time or seriously.

[Leigh 87]

the 5 year old I tutored overseas who obviously couldn't speak fluent English was a hand full but not in an overt bratty way.

 

He would get up in the middle of the lesson and want to run around and play and be cheeky. I found it cute albeit I had to then improvise and teach him English words whilst playing ( WHAT'S THIS, Morris? A TABLE, you going to chase me around the table?")

 

Plus the two girls I tutored, sisters, aged about 4 or 5 and 7.... they were a bit cheeky when they didn't get their way and I had to learn to appease them while not being a total push over.

 

None of these kids were little nightmares though! Yes there were annoying moments but I was never overly concerned or not enjoying myself!

 

Then the 7 year old Asian...Man, her parents made her do so many extra curricular activities that by the time she came to my flat for her lesson, she slumped in front of the computer and was a total zombie at times. I would take her into the kitchen and say " lets make some popcorn :D" And I would talk to her in English as we did it and work on her verbal English skills whilst doing so, before getting back to her written grammar.

 

As for the toddler. The first toddler I ever minded.. he was three and cried a lot when his mum left but he just needed comfort from me and understanding, which I very happily gave him. He didn't CONTINUE to throw tantrums. If he did I forgot them because they mustn't have been bad! I will NEVER forget he awful toddler I minded of late...

[Glinda.Good]

Yes, kids throw tantrums and I would be very surprised if you weren't throwing plenty of them yourself, regardless of what your parents recall.

 

From the way you talk about it, clearly you were not good with this kid, you hated him, and I'm sure he was not crazy about having you to deal with him. Of course kids can pick up on stuff like that. I doubt it would have taken a "professional" to deal with him. Probably a person who came at it with some understand, patience and care.

 

It's disturbing to me how much you dislike this innocent little kid. He is just being a toddler. Ever hear of the "terrible twos"? It's a thing, most of us with kids or who know kids have experienced it.

 

Why not just be okay with the fact that you were not the person to be dealing with him, rather than disparaging the child and his family?

[Leigh 87]

Yes, kids throw tantrums and I would be very surprised if you weren't throwing plenty of them yourself, regardless of what your parents recall.

 

From the way you talk about it, clearly you were not good with this kid, you hated him, and I'm sure he was not crazy about having you to deal with him. Of course kids can pick up on stuff like that. I doubt it would have taken a "professional" to deal with him. Probably a person who came at it with some understand, patience and care.

 

It's disturbing to me how much you dislike this innocent little kid. He is just being a toddler. Ever hear of the "terrible twos"? It's a thing, most of us with kids or who know kids have experienced it.

 

Why not just be okay with the fact that you were not the person to be dealing with him, rather than disparaging the child and his family?

 

 

 

 

I am an extremely compassionate and caring person but I have a dislike of certain toddlers. It doesn't make me less caring or nice in general.

 

 

And no not all toddlers scream blue murder every day. I have looked after toddlers for entire days and they never threw tantrums on a daily basis.

 

Not all toddlers throw plenty of tantrums.

 

 

 

 

Not just anyone has the love of toddlers enough to happily deal with the bratty ones sorry. Plenty of perfectly lovely people who are very caring within their community, will dislike toddlers such as that one.

 

 

 

It takes a special sort of person who actually adores babies and toddlers to effectively deal with awful ones.

[SJS]

We have a little joke in my family, that the more friends our daughter brings home, the more we dislike kids...

 

 

We had a very easy-going, pretty neutral toddler (who yes, did throw tantrums). We thought some of these tantrums were bad until she started preschool and then there were all these other kids we could compare her to. YIKES! So maybe her tantrums were bad *for her*, but on the grand scale, they weren't bad at all. I can understand how frustrating it is, especially when they aren't listening, and you can't reason with them. Some kids you just won't mesh with, and that's ok. I don't blame you for not watching him anymore.

[Leigh 87]

Yeah I don't get why people are like " wow he is just a defenceless child" a though I am a monster for not thinking all toddlers are little angels:lmao:

 

I disliked him; I would have never harmed him or deliberately upset him.

 

Some toddlers are true terrors, I think it is normal to immensely dislike them, I mean look how some of them act! How can some people NOT think they are brats? It is their parents job to love them not strangers.

 

It put me off having kids. Seriously.

 

I was talking to a mum the other day, she seemed like a genuinely nice character and yet her toddler throws tantrums daily, so it is obviously just the toddler and not always just he parenting that causes brats to be brats.

 

I really like older children though, they don't throw tantrums but rather sulk if they don't get heir way at times.

 

Not sure why people are offended at me calling certain toddlers brats when it is true.

 

A lot of parents do come forward and tell me that their toddlers never threw tantrums on a regular basis so it is not abnormal to have toddlers that aren't like that.....

[Glinda.Good]

 

Not sure why people are offended at me calling certain toddlers brats when it is true.

 

Because you have spent many pages actually calling this child names (awful, stupid, etc.) That is not appropriate for an adult to do, especially one who put themselves in the position of looking after a toddler.

 

I read on your other thread that you are considering a job caring for elderly people. I want you to know in advance that it may be much more challenging than a toddler. And, similarly, it will not be OK with most people if you start calling them names.

[Tayla]

A persons behavior is not the entire value of the person.

 

Objectively- The adult tending to the child can take management classes as a way to work thru this bump in care management.

[Leigh 87]

Because you have spent many pages actually calling this child names (awful, stupid, etc.) That is not appropriate for an adult to do, especially one who put themselves in the position of looking after a toddler.

 

I read on your other thread that you are considering a job caring for elderly people. I want you to know in advance that it may be much more challenging than a toddler. And, similarly, it will not be OK with most people if you start calling them names.

 

 

 

I would never call and elderly person names

 

 

I dislike bratty toddlers which is very normal of many perfectly lovely adults.

 

 

My partner also hates bratty toddlers and he is super nice and treats me superbly. We are.both extremely nice and have a strong believe of helping other people in our community.

 

 

 

It shouldn't be baffling that some adults dislike toddlers and think their brats.

 

I am more shocked that anyone could think such a child is cute or adorable

 

I have liked two toddlers I looked after this far. The were cool.

 

From now on thought I don't care how often is normal for a toddler to throw tantrums.. I'm never looking after one again.

 

None of my friends think it's alarming that I think toddlers are mostly brats. They agree and we are all very nice and decent. None of us are child haters lol.

 

My own mum hates toddlers of other people. She said I never threw tantrums and was dead quiet and cute while other toddlers screamed and yelled and she couldn't stand them!

 

My mum is the nicest person imaginable and even SHE hates most toddlers so toddler gating isn't indicative of bad character. The really are brats. Most of the time.

[pie2]

brats

 

I think I've read that you are studying to go in to the social work field.

 

As you gain more experience in the field of social services, I'm sure you will encounter people who just can't seem to act right. They may act up, get depressed, abuse drugs, act out, assault others, be serious criminal offenders, have serious mental health problems, be poor, be annoying etc etc etc. More than likely, you'll encounter people who act like tantruming toddlers (at least at times). But they'll be adults!

 

Will you call them "brats"? Will you not say anything out loud, but really be thinking it in your heart? If so, I don't know if social work is going to be the right field for you. You'll hate it!! You'll run in to people you're annoyed by all the time.

 

So I would suggest a different field, possibly. Not only for your own peace of mind, but for the good of your future clients as well. Because they're not brats. They are people in need of better ways to cope with their problems. People who need someone that can help guide them in the right direction.

 

Much like the tantruming toddler you were working with. They child is not a "brat". He's a little person who needs to be instructed on this journey in life. And it takes a special kind of person to do that well.

 

If you do maintain your career path, I implore you to look inside your heart and search for greater compassion for those in need. Because your repeated use of demeaning words towards a young child shows you might be lacking a little in that department.

 

I wish you well on your journey.

[mrs rubble]

Interesting that you note bad behaviour may be genetic, & your mother is also intolerant of toddler's! Some of us consider intolerance & lack of empathy as bad/rude behaviour.

If you are really seriously studying social work, you might want to do some soul searching, the profession requires empathy & compassion.

[Leigh 87]

I have plenty of empathy and compassion. That is why I am getting into the field of helping people.

 

Thinking toddlers can be brats and not liking them doesn't mean I lack compassion in general for the rest of the population.

 

Thinking toddlers are brats doesn't mean I am not very generous, kind and empathetic.

 

I happen to feel a lot for homeless, elderly and any other sector of the community. This is why I do volunteer work and about to start more volunteer positions.

 

I have been passionate about helping the homeless since age 7 when my parents took me to third world countries.

[Leigh 87]

I think I've read that you are studying to go in to the social work field.

 

As you gain more experience in the field of social services, I'm sure you will encounter people who just can't seem to act right. They may act up, get depressed, abuse drugs, act out, assault others, be serious criminal offenders, have serious mental health problems, be poor, be annoying etc etc etc. More than likely, you'll encounter people who act like tantruming toddlers (at least at times). But they'll be adults!

 

Will you call them "brats"? Will you not say anything out loud, but really be thinking it in your heart? If so, I don't know if social work is going to be the right field for you. You'll hate it!! You'll run in to people you're annoyed by all the time.

 

So I would suggest a different field, possibly. Not only for your own peace of mind, but for the good of your future clients as well. Because they're not brats. They are people in need of better ways to cope with their problems. People who need someone that can help guide them in the right direction.

 

Much like the tantruming toddler you were working with. They child is not a "brat". He's a little person who needs to be instructed on this journey in life. And it takes a special kind of person to do that well.

 

If you do maintain your career path, I implore you to look inside your heart and search for greater compassion for those in need. Because your repeated use of demeaning words towards a young child shows you might be lacking a little in that department.

 

I wish you well on your journey.

 

 

Do you know WHY I want to work in social services? Even though I got marks to get into pretty much any degree I choose to including law?

 

I WANT to work with people who have alcohol problems, have mental health issues and the elderly.

 

Troubled youth is an area I have a keen interest in getting involved with.

 

Most of all, my mission is to help the homeless people and animals - that is my biggest dream professionally speaking, to work get homeless people back into courses and work that amount to food and shelter. While I take in foster pets and many of my own from the income I make myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't like toddlers. Not unless they are the nice ones. Doesn't mean I lack empathy or compassion.

 

I am always the one in the group or the class who takes it upon themselves to befriend the person that no one else likes; to become a friend to the person who has none. When everyone else's says bad stuff about them I prefer to extent my friendship when no one else will.

 

A lot of toddlers ARE NOT cute and ARE little brats that many adults probably wont like, and will in fact DISLIKE; doesn't mean they don't have empathy or compassion in GENERAL.