My daughter makes me so proud

[Grumpybutfun]

As some of you know, my wife and I adopted our three children from her irresponsible elder sister. My oldest girl was just a little curly haired blue eyed charmer who called me dada the first time she ever met me...long before the adoption. Of all of them she is the most like me and we are known to work on a car all night or to fish for hours without saying a word to each other. She is an amazing child.

Today, my wife received a thank you card from her that said she was grateful everyday to have parents like us. She then wrote what we each had taught her and my wife was bawling and I was feeling a bit choked up myself. She wrote at the end, "here is a check covering my debt for my college degrees. I know Poppy won't take it, so mommy please deposit it. I was given a gift by my parents, my education and my start in the world. Though I earned scholarships, you made sure I had plenty for room and board and never let me go without anything I needed even though I was officially an adult. It is my greatest wish to repay it because due to your support, I was able to go after my dream career in Engineering. I have been saving up for a long time to repay my debts because Poppy always told me that the only thing we value is what we truly earn. It is right that I pay you back for your faith in me....it meant I was a good investment. Please cash this or I will be mad."

 

I am so proud of my little girl not because she gave us money but because she valued what we taught her about paying your own way in life.

Darned kids....

G

[Janesays]

What's your secret, Grumps? My daughter was born last week and I'd like for her to emulate some of this character.

[mammasita]

Aww that made me cry a bit, I also might be PMSing lol.

 

Very sweet.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Wow. What a wonderful young woman you raised.

[rns4lyfe]

Great post! I hope I can teach my daughter that as she grows up.

[Grumpybutfun]

What's your secret, Grumps? My daughter was born last week and I'd like for her to emulate some of this character.

 

I asked myself if I could have had good parents, what would that look like? We just made sure they were rewarded for good behavior and excellent tries, not to give up and to try again, the importance of a work ethic and value in their own merit. We taught them tools such as kindness, compassion, financial knowledge, how to do things we thought they would need and we didn't accept "can't" or whining. We let them struggle when they needed knowing we are there but they are more than capable to do great things. I learned instead of trying to do it for them to say, I have great faith in you that you can overcome. I let them know the value of their own accomplishments so that they had the confidence to try and do anything. I started teaching them everything I knew as soon as age appropriate....mechanics, music, knowledge is power, the world is beautiful but has elements you have to be savvy to avoid, self protection, giving is good, sharing is better, dreams are nice but actions are gold, if you want it you have to work hard for it, financial security is freedom, expect nothing and work for everything, prepare yourself for life, don't let others define you, seek your own counsel and your own opinion, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent so don't consent, no ones opinion of you is greater than your own, you are amazing but humility is courteous, manners are key, you aren't entitled to anything but you can earn everything. They had chores and responsibilities as soon as they could understand them. We are a team and this is your contribution to this team and it is much appreciated. My wife was nurture and I was structure so she would hug and kiss and hold and play and teach them her strengths and I would define boundaries, teach and be their protector....which required lots of hugs and kisses too. I am strict and gruff sometimes but affectionate. I believe in hugs as I didn't get any growing up, I wanted them to have them always.

My son and I would have son days and my daughters and I would have individual daughter days where they were my only focus...this was important so we could bond. I taught them all the same things,my daughters fixed cars with me and hunted and fished and took care of the horses. My son is the best cook out of all of my kids. My wife would do the same indoors with cooking, shopping and cleaning, which I always would help with so they understood that making and taking care of a home is a family thing, not a female thing. We worked together though my wife has the home and I have the yard just because she hates the machinery. We just tried to teach them that work can be fun and it is mandatory to your quality of life. So, it doesn't really surprise me that she believes that earning her own education meant paying for it as well because financial responsibility was tied in with work ethic.

 

If I had to do one thing differently, I would have been a little less obsessed with work. My military career was demanding and I enjoyed it but I stressed a lot when I should have been living in the moments. They go by fast. Congratulations on your new baby, Jane, I hope you enjoy being a mother as much as my wife did.

 

My wife suggested we take the kids to Ireland this Fall with some of the money and drive the isle. We are already planning...they are thrilled.

Best,

Grumps

Edited April 15, 2014 by Grumpybutfun

[Valen]

Awee Grump, you are definitely my role model. I wish someday I could be a good as a man as you are.

[Grumpybutfun]

Awee Grump, you are definitely my role model. I wish someday I could be a good as a man as you are.

 

You are a good man, Valen. That is all we have to be. This is kind of hokey but when people ask me which Avenger I like the most it is Captain America and it is because being a good man is hard in this world. Being an ass and a cheat is easy. There is no courage or daring in being an ass since so many are, but a good man....that is a worthy goal.

G