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Only Children


AnneT1985

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Hi y'all!

 

 

I was wondering if I could hear from some people who were raised as only children, have an only child or perhaps in retrospect only wanted one.

 

 

What are some of the benefits?

 

 

I'd love to hear from you!

 

 

Thanks y'all xx

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My son says he got included in more things sng the chance to attend more events/more experiences being the only child. And he got lots of one on one attention growing up. He also says he's barely given it any thought! :)

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I do. It's meant - what I am told by my friends with kids - a really very special bond and fantastic relationship. He's been my best buddy for 17 years and we've had stacks of holidays/days out/days in just the 2 of us and we can talk about so much that many of his friends wouldn't consider speaking to their mums about.

 

That said, I am currently 3 days overdue with my second, and I already have number 3 planned, ASAP, next year. Having had an only child, I would prefer not to have another. I'd like 2 kids close together so they are at similar life stages and we can do things as a family more easily as age-appropriate activities won't be out of bounds too long for the younger one, hopefully.

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I'm an only child and since I don't know what's it's like to have siblings, I can't say I missed it as a child. I spent a lot time alone as a child, which was both a good and bad thing. I learned how to entertain myself, but I also became used to isolation and it made not want to do things with others.

 

Now, it would be nice to have siblings. I have no family other than my mother. I will be the one taking care of her someday, and beyond that, it would be nice to have other family.

 

An only child who has extended family will obviously not feel as isolated as I did.

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I am an only child & I always tell people not to have an only child by choice. It's mean. Being an only is isolating. There are no built in playmates. There is nobody to share the joy or the grief with.

 

 

Now that my parents are gone, I am all alone in this world. It's a horrible feeling. Most only children I know have the same reaction to their parents' deaths. We do try to stick together but it's not the same because there is no one with all of your shared memories. Watching me grieve has given my husband a new appreciation for his own siblings.

 

 

The only benefits are economic. My parents could afford private education & to buy me whatever I wanted because it was only me but that money didn't outweigh the loneliness.

 

 

Even when I was older because I had to pay for it myself I didn't have enough money to throw my parents a nice 25th anniversary party. I ended up throwing them a 30th to make up for it.

 

 

The only time I was grateful for being an only was when my parents were ill at the end of their lives when I didn't have somebody second guessing every decision & the decisions didn't have to be made by committee. Then again, it would have been nice to have somebody to sit in those hospital rooms with me & hold my parents' hands.

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My daughter and father are part of the 'only child' club. They hated it. Hopefully one day, I can change that status for my daughter.

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I am an only child & I always tell people not to have an only child by choice. It's mean. Being an only is isolating. There are no built in playmates. There is nobody to share the joy or the grief with.

 

 

Now that my parents are gone, I am all alone in this world. It's a horrible feeling. Most only children I know have the same reaction to their parents' deaths. We do try to stick together but it's not the same because there is no one with all of your shared memories. Watching me grieve has given my husband a new appreciation for his own siblings.

 

 

The only benefits are economic. My parents could afford private education & to buy me whatever I wanted because it was only me but that money didn't outweigh the loneliness.

 

 

Even when I was older because I had to pay for it myself I didn't have enough money to throw my parents a nice 25th anniversary party. I ended up throwing them a 30th to make up for it.

 

 

The only time I was grateful for being an only was when my parents were ill at the end of their lives when I didn't have somebody second guessing every decision & the decisions didn't have to be made by committee. Then again, it would have been nice to have somebody to sit in those hospital rooms with me & hold my parents' hands.

 

I am sorry about your parents and about your experience

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I'm an only child too and I've always wondered if I were a mistake.

I've asked my mum and she says no, but I'm not convinced. Abortion was illegal here when I was born and every pregnancy I've had my mother has pressured me to terminate, so I suspect I was never wanted.

 

I grew up in a remote area and all my extended family lived at the other end of the country, my parents both worked fulltime. So I was very lonely.

 

All my life people have told me I must have been spoilt. Not so, and it really bugs me that people asume that.

 

It came as a huge shock to me how siblings fight when I had my own children!! I have 2. No way I would want just 1.

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TouchedByViolet

I am an only child, 26 years old now. Growing up I was happy. I had a strong imagination, good friends, and video games. Being an only child probably made me more independent as a person too.

 

There are negatives though. Now that I am older I wish I had some siblings to help deal with my crazy parents and the challenges of life. But who knows though, some people have dead beat siblings.

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Bittersweetie

I am an only and never felt growing up that I missed out on anything...experiences or playmates or the like. I sometimes wonder if the fact I'm an introvert had to do with that...maybe people who didn't enjoy being an only are more extroverted? Just a thought.

 

I think sometimes people have multiple children so that the children won't be alone...but siblings won't necessarily be close. My H has two brothers and talks to them daily. My dad has a brother he speaks to once a year if lucky.

 

So if one is considering multiple children, one should make the choice based on what they want from a family...not just so their kid isn't an only. JMO.

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I have an only (not by choice). She's pushing 10 and so far hasn't had any issues being an only...we live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids so we let her have playdates often so she's not alone. Most of her friends come from big families, and they like coming here because it's quiet. lol

 

 

It has its advantages...she's able to do more things (like sports) that she otherwise probably wouldn't get to do. She's independent and more mature than her peers (which is good for her medical condition). We're really close. She's very outgoing and friendly. But I guess a kid with siblings could have/do all that too.

 

 

There are downfalls too, like everyone else mentioned, she's by herself. If we do things like a vacation, most packages are priced on 4 people not 3. Then when we get there, we can't just tell her to go off and play with her sibling, one of us has to go with her (which is not a bad thing). I worry about her when we get older. My sister can't have kids, and my brother-in-law has removed himself from the family so my daughter will never have 1st cousins. All of my cousins on my mom's side had only children (girls), and they're all about the same age, so we try to keep the girls close so they can have each other.

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