newmoon Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 was on an 8 hour flight yesterday and a toddler was crying/having a tantrum the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!! I wish I was kidding, but his mother was sleeping 3/4th of the time while the kid was upside down in the seat kicking, crying, screaming, etc. and no on even said anything to her :-( i wanted to slap her kid so badly, and then when i noticed her sleeping i was so upset. eventually the flight attendant woke her up because of passenger complaints (maybe 7 hours later) and asked her to care for her kid and quiet him down, which he did, for just a few seconds, before he started up again. he was about 3, no more than 5. I cannot understand how parents think this is ok, to subject others to their kids this way... and so many do it. I told my parents - who were traveling with me - if I ever say I want kids please just remind me of that flight. what pleasure does a kid bring when it behaves like this? how is this wonderful in any way? all these moms and dads who claim parenting is the most wonderful experience in the world... yeah, the crying and screaming of your kids has made y'all crazy! more of a rant, sorry! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rumbleseat Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I understand, and feel the same way about people talking loudly in to their cellphones, people,ex who text while driving or walking, people who take their pets dogs into places clearing marked as " pets prohibited" , people who let their pet cr@p on the ground and don't clean it up, people who kept their dogs run off leash in areas where they know it is prohibited, people who are inconsiderate of others, self cantered people, and the list goes on. As annoying as all this may be, it's part if living in society, so one has to learn to deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I know when I've traveled with my son I was always afraid that I would be "that parent" - the one with the crying kid. Fortunately he hasn't freaked on a plane much, and we were able to keep it down. While annoying the only thing I could say is that maybe she wasn't feeling well and had to travel for a family emergency. Maybe there was some circumstance which doesn't excuse the behavior but could've explained it better. Hope your next flight isn't as crazy. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 While annoying the only thing I could say is that maybe she wasn't feeling well and had to travel for a family emergency. Maybe there was some circumstance which doesn't excuse the behavior but could've explained it better. Its totally true! I'm guilty of it - i get annoyed at drivers who cut me up, but y'know what if there rushing to the hospital to be with a relative or in a massive rush for some other reason....there probably not, there probably just jerks but, you never knoe! Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 You wanted to slap the kid?? I'd want to slap the parent, or at least it'd cross my mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) Part of the problem is you have the belief that she is traveling for her own pleasure and has a choice to fly or not fly. Tell, me, if you had a child like that, would you not be exhausted? Would you not choose to get where you are going the fastest way possible? Or would you make yourself and child miserable driving all the way to wherever you needed to go? Self-centered? Pot, Kettle, Black. Most parents with small children of that nature try to travel as little as possible and drive whenever time is not a factor. (and believe me, it's not the parent's fault pretty much - I've seen twins be complete opposites in temperment!) Yes, it's unfortunate and miserable that you were inconvenienced. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. When people say that, they are talking about a "growth" experience. Kind of like boot camp; you're miserable at times while going through it -- but once out, you feel like you can conquer any problem. It's always a mixed bag - I have two grown children. I probably would not be surviving the death of my mother without one of them and I'm grateful for her. The other one has not spoken to me since the divorce, he's so fully convinced that I'm completely at fault. The real solution is for the airline to adopt adult only flights or child only flights, or both. :-) When parents are given such options, they do tend to take them. So as for it being "ok" to subject other people to it, where do you get the idea she had any choice? Perhaps it's forced visitation with the non-custodial parent. Maybe someone is dying? Maybe she's taking the child to a special clinic to try and diagnose said problems. Edited April 2, 2014 by JourneyLady 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Sorry about your experience. Having done a fair amount of longhaul, and encountering varying temperaments and cultures, I find my blood pressure stays lower with a G&T or two and my headset and some nice music when traveling in the back. About the only thing I 'get up' about is when a kid is repeatedly kicking my seat. I guess when I'm annoyed it's pretty scary I've found the flight attendants in First and Business are a little more assertive about misbehaving children, though no panacea there either. That said, I've traveled in F and C with UM's (unaccompanied minors) and overwhelmingly found them to be better behaved than many adults! Save for mental illness, most such behavioral issues reflect their everyday lives. That's what they know. No reason for it to be any different on an airplane. I gain solace from knowing that when the music is over and I deplane, I can go one with my life and they theirs and never the twain shall meet outside of this one chance encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I lived thru the experience from the childs perspective. Call it empathy. My son was un nerved in flights... It would come randomly. I learned to take "distraction devices" on board to keep his mind attended. If its someone elses child, i offer a sugar free mint ( with the guardians permission) or offer them a distraction for the child. The air pressure is harsh on young kids. The stares from strangers. The fact they have no where to release the energy can be taxing. So what if for yrs as an adult you've trained yourself to endure flights. The kid hasnt! Get over your adult self and grow some regard. Most kids are anxious... Maybe next time you can show human kindness and talk to the lad... They sometimes just need to know that people are trustworthy and not irritable folks. Even the guardisn might appreciate a kind word instead of nasty glares.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thinkingofhim Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Sometimes kids just don't handle experiences like that very well. Sometimes parents are exhausted and bewildered and don't know what to do in a panicky-freaking-out-kid situation that (for the parent) has probably been going on for quite a lot longer than a mere 8 hour flight. Yeah, kids are annoying monsters sometimes. But they're also human beings. Kids have a right to be on planes too, and I assure you that no one takes a small frightened child on an airplane for the fun of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author newmoon Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 The real solution is for the airline to adopt adult only flights or child only flights, or both. :-) awesome idea!! you know, the funny thing was as soon as the flight attendant came over to wake up the mother the father suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I was stunned because he had been ignoring the child too and never took action. I often see dad's and mom's "pretend" to not be with a child when it's acting out like this and then when they are called out by staff or whatever they all of a sudden materialize. it must be embarrassing I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 was on an 8 hour flight yesterday and a toddler was crying/having a tantrum the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!! This problem is easily solved with a couple shots of whiskey and ambien Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 you know, the funny thing was as soon as the flight attendant came over to wake up the mother the father suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I was stunned because he had been ignoring the child too and never took action. I often see dad's and mom's "pretend" to not be with a child when it's acting out like this and then when they are called out by staff or whatever they all of a sudden materialize. it must be embarrassing I guess. I think many airlines now charge extra for certain seats, like aisles, or provide them only to frequent flier members. Which means that some families that travel rarely or are on a budget are literally unable to get seats together. I was on a flight once where the parents were trying to get people to move around so the kids weren't sitting by themselves. Or if they bought tickets last minute because of an emergency that could've been why too. Though if they both needed rest then they should've switched off during the flight. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 was on an 8 hour flight yesterday and a toddler was crying/having a tantrum the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!! I wish I was kidding, but his mother was sleeping 3/4th of the time while the kid was upside down in the seat kicking, crying, screaming, etc. and no on even said anything to her :-( i wanted to slap her kid so badly, and then when i noticed her sleeping i was so upset. eventually the flight attendant woke her up because of passenger complaints (maybe 7 hours later) and asked her to care for her kid and quiet him down, which he did, for just a few seconds, before he started up again. he was about 3, no more than 5. I cannot understand how parents think this is ok, to subject others to their kids this way... and so many do it. I told my parents - who were traveling with me - if I ever say I want kids please just remind me of that flight. what pleasure does a kid bring when it behaves like this? how is this wonderful in any way? all these moms and dads who claim parenting is the most wonderful experience in the world... yeah, the crying and screaming of your kids has made y'all crazy! more of a rant, sorry! At least he didn't have a dirty diaper. I once sat next to a child whose mom didn't change his diaper during the 3 hour flight. I was sick to my stomach the entire time. Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 At least he didn't have a dirty diaper. I once sat next to a child whose mom didn't change his diaper during the 3 hour flight. I was sick to my stomach the entire time. OMG. We were on a cross-country flight once behind a dad with two young kids, one of which had the worst smelling diaper imaginable. Five hours of it, I was gagging. What's interesting is, thinking about this incident, before I had kids I was like, how could he not change the diaper??? How nasty for everyone else. But now I'd wonder if he didn't want to leave the clean kid by himself, and probably ask if he wanted me to watch his kid while he changed the other's diaper. I guess after traveling with a young child, I'm a lot more understanding of those kind of situations. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Sometimes I feel fortunate to put up with the levels of annoyance I do in my regular life because it makes a screaming baby on a plane seem like a vacation. I had a mom next to me who's kid would throw its bottle in my direction occasionally and I'd just give it back and say hi to the kid. No big deal. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 was on an 8 hour flight yesterday and a toddler was crying/having a tantrum the ENTIRE FLIGHT!!! I wish I was kidding, but his mother was sleeping 3/4th of the time while the kid was upside down in the seat kicking, crying, screaming, etc. and no on even said anything to her :-( i wanted to slap her kid so badly, and then when i noticed her sleeping i was so upset. eventually the flight attendant woke her up because of passenger complaints (maybe 7 hours later) and asked her to care for her kid and quiet him down, which he did, for just a few seconds, before he started up again. he was about 3, no more than 5. I cannot understand how parents think this is ok, to subject others to their kids this way... and so many do it. I told my parents - who were traveling with me - if I ever say I want kids please just remind me of that flight. what pleasure does a kid bring when it behaves like this? how is this wonderful in any way? all these moms and dads who claim parenting is the most wonderful experience in the world... yeah, the crying and screaming of your kids has made y'all crazy! more of a rant, sorry! yes that woman was a bad parent but it wasn't the kids fault. he was probably scared and in pain (flying can really hurt the ears) and a such a young age wouldn't have known how to handle it. and yeah being a parent isn't always the most wonderful experience but... you should ask your parents what you were like at that age Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 kids aren't all about pleasure.....they are hard going.......sleepless nights for one....sleep deprivation is the biggest cause of insanity and confusion in new mothers.......your making judgements on a woman you dont even know.......i find judgement to be an unkind bed partner to compassion and thoughtfulness i am rather glad that threesome never exists...if it were me i would have tried misdirection with the child........distraction from probable boredom or maybe ear problems...making faces would have helped get the child to copy opening your mouth wide to pop the ear drums maybe......you dont know what was going on with the child or the mother...its a shame nobody tried to play with him/her, help out a little bit......a small token of compassion maybe...instead of sitting and stewing with a siren going off....turn the siren off.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
robbysurfs Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Gots to throw a little nyquil in that sippy cup... Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 My reaction to that would really depend on how I was feeling at the time. If I was really stressed or wasn't feeling well or had a headache, I'd probably just want to say "Shut up already!" and have the parent deal with their child. If I was feeling o.k. I could do some of the nice things suggested in this thread. I'm generally a very patient person, but sometimes it's just not in me to deal with noise and chaos. It's hard when you're on a plane and can't get away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 There is nothing worse than kids on planes. Parents who don't have their kids trained to keep them under control and quiet have no business foisting them on others. It's just lazy parenting. And if they're too young to train, they're too young to fly. Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Look, everyone knows children are noisy and don't always behave. But if YOU are the parent of that child, then at least TRY to keep him or her calm. Personally, I know couples (family and friends) who have raised their children with discipline and respect. If their fathers tell them to sit down and be quiet, they do it with little to no hesitation. They know that screaming and crying in public is not acceptable behavior. The problem is that parents are not parenting. They just chalk it up to "oh well, that's what kids do." No, that's what poorly parented/poorly disciplined kids do. If this mother had at least tried to keep her son entertained, I am betting most people would be more sympathetic. But to just lay there sleeping while her kid was being an absolute terror is ridiculous. I would not have blamed a pilot for booting someone off the plane for doing that. That child will probably have behavior problems his entire life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 There is nothing worse than kids on planes. Parents who don't have their kids trained to keep them under control and quiet have no business foisting them on others. It's just lazy parenting. And if they're too young to train, they're too young to fly. They're kids, not dogs... That being said...I would've been beyond embarrassed if that had been my kid. But we don't know her situation though...maybe she was traveling for a funeral and was emotionally exhausted. It's easy to sit back and point fingers, when you're not the one in the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
atlg8r Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 They're kids, not dogs... That being said...I would've been beyond embarrassed if that had been my kid. But we don't know her situation though...maybe she was traveling for a funeral and was emotionally exhausted. It's easy to sit back and point fingers, when you're not the one in the situation. It doesn't really matter what her situation was. You still have to be a parent. If my husband or mom died, does that mean, since I'm emotionally exhausted, that I can just let my son run around unsupervised eating bad food and watching junk on tv all day long instead of going to school? No. Parenting is not an option. Too many people today view babies as accessories thanks to reality tv and celeb gossip rags. They aren't accessories. They are responsibilities and blessings. I'm tired of people using various excuses for not doing their job that THEY signed up for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I think a real issue that isn't addressed here is, when you are in public, it is very hard to discipline your child because everyone is watching you. You have a child crying and you get down to their level and speak to them in a firm tone, people are staring. They are judging you and your parental skills, and with this day and age of child care views, any little wrong doing in other's eye, people will report you and risk having Child Protective Services come into play. Yes, having a loud child in a plane sucks, but children in general are loud, and at the age of three, they are at the age of exploring their boundaries and seeing how far they can go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 IME, having spent a lot of time on aircraft, it's not uncommon for an unruly child and parent to disappear into the lav for a bit, perhaps to have a more private instruction period in appropriate behavior. Very similar to how yours truly was disciplined as a child. I remember the produce room at the grocery store quite well! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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