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Right reasons / wrong reasons for wanting a child


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I have often seen people discounting other people's reasons for wanting a child as "the wrong reasons". These have included

 

* to save a failing M

* to trap a partner into M

* "because I want one"

* to create a mini-me (of themself or their partner)

* to get over the loss of a loved one

* to "fulfil their destiny as a woman"

* because their partner would be a great parent

* because their partner wants one

* to get maternity leave

* to become a SAHM

* to qualify for more benefits from the state

* to be taken seriously as an adult

* to experience unconditional love.

 

What would you add to he list?

and what do you consider the "right reason/s" (if any) for having a child?

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During the 'reproductive era', my main motivations were two-fold:

 

1. Sharing the joy of the product of a union with a woman whom I loved.

 

2. Modeling and molding a young mind and passing along the wisdom and legacy of my parents and my own life experience and sending the young person on their way to whatever awaited them.

 

That was pretty much it, right or wrong. Unable to have children so it is what it is.

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Ok...well I can tell you one view I have on something I've witnessed that I happen to believe is wrong. A teenager with no focus due to bad parenting, getting pregnant for attention. And not just with one child but more than one with different fathers! To me this is not responsible at all. In fact I know the reason she's doing it. To feel like she's accomplished things cause all her friends are in college. She has kids makes her feel whole. So 1. Having a baby to complete your inner self..IMO WRONG. Reasons that are more positive:

 

1. The desire to raise, care for and love to

To no avail a little blessing from above that you've created with you're partner. A well thought out choice weighting all the pros and cons to raising healthy & happy well adjusted kids. Believe that's much to think about.

 

2. Again, after a well thought out discussion, the joy of continuing a legacy. A part of you to live on well after you are gone.

 

Please note.. It's a very personal choice overall IMO. I do have a problem though with what I stated about irresponsible teenagers.

 

Mea :-)

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  • 2 weeks later...
I have often seen people discounting other people's reasons for wanting a child as "the wrong reasons". These have included

 

* to save a failing M

* to trap a partner into M

* "because I want one"

* to create a mini-me (of themself or their partner)

* to get over the loss of a loved one

* to "fulfil their destiny as a woman"

* because their partner would be a great parent

* because their partner wants one

* to get maternity leave

* to become a SAHM

* to qualify for more benefits from the state

* to be taken seriously as an adult

* to experience unconditional love.

 

What would you add to he list?

and what do you consider the "right reason/s" (if any) for having a child?

 

I agree that trapping someone is a terrible reason to have a child, and this is true in any relationship, not just a M. I've heard of single people in relationships with other single people and single people in As doing it too.

 

I don't think that someone has to be in a relationship to be a great parent. What it takes is a desire and ability to out someone else's needs before your own, to be able to love then unconditionally and to recognize that , as a parent, one has a duty to raise them to be a a good person who makes the world a better place.

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The reasons don't matter and are usually not the real reasons, only rationalizations. The only thing that matters is loving and properly caring for a child you bring into the world. Dysfunctional people usually can't do a good job of nurturing a child to adulthood.

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