Deciding to have children of obvious mixed ethnicity

[Col1]

A man and woman decide to have an interracial relationship/marriage. They as a couple will still face some staring and maybe even uninviting comments, even in 2014 USA. But they are both ADULTS, capable to ignore or stand up against what other people say or do.

 

So a man of one ethnicity marries a woman of another ethnicity with the plan of having biological children. Their children most likely will face subtle and blatant racist comments and actions from other kids. Is the parents' love and support for their children enough to overcome some of the ugly things that could be directly said to children in the neighborhood and in public?

Edited March 1, 2014 by Col1

[Radu]

It probably depends on the ethnicities involved and the location in the US.

[Radu]

Hmm are you for real? Or denying the serieus of the issue?:s

 

After touching my face several times, i have come to the conclusion that i indeed exist.

 

What i'm saying, is that it depends on the races involved and the location [gender too probably].

A black man / white woman couple will probably find more acceptance in SF/NY than say in the deep south.

[lucy_in_disguise]

It's sad that this is still a real issue.

 

I think love would trump discrimination, even in the more racist parts of the country. It would probably help to surround the kids with a community of people who accepted and supported them.

 

Having lived in only the more liberal parts of the US, I haven't seen this issue play out first-hand. Personally I have always found mixed-ethnicity people the most attractive.

[Arabella]

My husband is Chinese and I'm Caucasian (from Europe). Incidentally, I also just gave birth to our first daughter three weeks ago.

 

I definitely think it's very much a regional issue. We live in a major metropolitan area (Boston) where it's nothing unusual to encounter people from all racial backgrounds mingling together. In fact, we've gotten more looks of disapproval from the older Chinese immigrants than we have from the local population.

 

However, at one point when we were still dating, we took a trip to New Orleans and embarked on a cruise to Mexico from there. Although nobody ever said anything openly, we definitely felt judged.

 

Last summer we went on a trip to Spain, my country of origin. This is where we've felt it the most. There isn't a huge Asian population over there, and they mostly keep to themselves. Seeing us together was quite a shock and we garnered all sorts of openly curious and even mocking looks.

 

Personally, I suspect that any inter-racial couple who live in large cities will not experience as many issues as someone who lives in smaller towns where folk tend to be more judgmental.

[divinegrace]

It breaks my heart that this is even an issue.

 

I am in an interracial relationship, with my children are my race, not my partners. Many times we have been out and people have assumed he was their father, despite him being Japanese and my children being blonde haired and blue eyed.

 

I guess it is out there that there is subtle (and blatant) discrimination, but I think that choosing not to have children gives that discrimination POWER. By having a family, you are instilling in that person that they have VALUE, WORTH, and HEART that is measured far greater than the color of their skin. Peel it all back and we are all human beings having a human experience.

 

I hope you choose to have a family. Your children will grow up to be compassionate, good, loving people who understand the world in a way we all should.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Madman81]

A man and woman decide to have an interracial relationship/marriage. They as a couple will still face some staring and maybe even uninviting comments, even in 2014 USA. But they are both ADULTS, capable to ignore or stand up against what other people say or do.

 

So a man of one ethnicity marries a woman of another ethnicity with the plan of having biological children. Their children most likely will face subtle and blatant racist comments and actions from other kids. Is the parents' love and support for their children enough to overcome some of the ugly things that could be directly said to children in the neighborhood and in public?

I don't think the possible racism should give them pause at all. Concern, perhaps, but it shouldn't be a factor of any kind influencing their decision to have children together or not.

 

You don't confront something like racism by trying to avoid giving bigots a reason to display their bigotry. You shove it in their face, tell them to piss off if they don't like it, and do everything you can to short-circuit any bigoted programming they may be infecting children or others with. It's not a quick fix by any means, but the days of bigots are numbered already. With every day that passes, they're more and more a dying breed. In another hundred years, acceptance of people of a different race will be as much a no-brainer as votes for women is today.

[Quiet Storm]

My three kids 17, 11, 9 are mixed (im white, husbands black). They prefer the term mixed race to biracial.

 

They do not have any problems with being left out or feeling different. They like being mixed and have lots of mixed friends. I think they face issues with ignorance that ANY minority would face, but nothing specific to being mixed.

 

They are very culturally well rounded. They appreciate the differences and laugh about them, too. They fit in with both cultures comfortably and point out interesting (sometimes hilarious) cultural differences.

 

I think they've gotten more grief for being atheist than anything.

 

The new generation has more access to other cultures than ever before. My kids will play PlayStation with southern white boys, korean kids and <insert race/culture here>. I think the internet has made kids very accepting of racial, cultural and national differences.

Edited April 3, 2014 by Quiet Storm