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Tomorrow's the big day! Here comes baby!


The_Face

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Tomorrow my ex is being induced at 8am. All the bulls**t and drama and backstabbing aside, I am excited about tomorrow. Nervous, but excited. Once I'm able to hold him in my arms, I know all the crap I've been through won't seem nearly as bad. That doesn't mean I'm going to backpedal on the whole paternity test thing, unfortunately I feel there really isn't a choice. Even if he comes out looking exactly like me (which is never the case with babies) I still have to get the test. So... none of that has changed. But aside from that, I'm going to be excited to see the baby and hold him in my arms.

 

I hope I'm able to get some sleep tonight! Wish us luck!

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Update: no baby yet. Long story. It's wierd. I think my ex got cold feet. Anyway, guess we're going the natural route, as it stands now. Not sure how I feel about it exactly, but I told my ex I support her decision. What else can I do?

 

I can tell her she should just trust the OB consultant and her midwife when they say she should take the induction, but what would that do? Clearly, she's made up her mind already. Me speaking my mind on it would only upset her, and she wouldn't change her mind, so...

 

...Back to the waiting game.

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Update: no baby yet. Long story. It's wierd. I think my ex got cold feet.

 

Cold feet about birthing a baby? Is that even physically possible?

 

Go on, tell us the long story.

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Cold feet about birthing a baby? Is that even physically possible?

 

Go on, tell us the long story.

 

Basically, I've known for quite a while now, actually, since the beginning of pregnancy, that my ex is wholey against inductions or any type of medical intervention. She is all about the earthy, natural birth thing. Which is fine, I can respect that. But..

 

I can't help but feel like my ex sabotaged the induction on Wednesday. First she called me at 6, telling me how the hospital called her and said they were overbooked with women in labor, and they no longer had a room available for her. They told her to call back at 10 to see what they can do. I've heard of this sort of thing happening for other women, so while I know it is possible, I find the whole thing kind of fishy. Can you blame me, though? True or not, let's move on.

 

Roll around to 10, I get a call from her basically saying that the hospital wouldn't be able to get her back in until Saturday, at the earliest. The way she said it sounded strange. She made it sound like they were really laidback about, like "we'll see if we can fit you in". I know this story could be true, but knowing my ex, it's hard to believe it all.

 

Anyway, she texts me an hour or so later, informing me she lost her mucuos plug. From there, she goes on to say that at this point she doesn't want to go through with an induction. She said that she's felt this way the whole time, and her gut has told her an induction isn't the right thing for her or the baby. And she finishes by saying that she "almost made a big mistake today" by listening to everyone else and not sticking with her gut feeling. I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but I feel like my ex was buying herself some time to decide what she wanted to do (telling me they couldnt get to her until Saturday?) and then justifying it (to everyone else) by saying, well, she lost her mucuos plug so this must be a sign of sorts, to go natural after all.

 

Okay... I'll shift the focus away from my theories and move on to her newest decision and how I feel about it. Personally, while I can admit I'm far from an expert on childbirth, I still would have gone with what the OB consultant and midwife were urging her to do. **** the natural birth. It would have been great in ideal circumstances, sure, but you've got trained medical professionals all telling you induction is probably the best thing to do, and you're going to go against that purely to live out your "dream" birth. I don't know. It's all her decision, so my two cents don't mean **** anyway. Unless, of course, I'm telling her I will stand by her side regardless of her decisions, then, my two cents is valued? Huh. Well... my hands are tied. We're back to waiting.

 

One thing that's hard to shake from my thoughts is the doctors telling her on more than one occasion, that the baby's life could be at risk the longer she waits to go into labor. Her cervix could shut down, etc. etc. I'll try to continue thinking positively and not let those fears dominate. I just hope everything goes smooth, especially with her decision to go against doctor's suggestion.

 

Due date is next week, so.. he should be coming soon, anyway. Hoping for the best. Very tired, in general, but mostly just tired of waiting. Trying to exercise a little more patience, but it's tough.

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One thing that's hard to shake from my thoughts is the doctors telling her on more than one occasion, that the baby's life could be at risk the longer she waits to go into labor.

 

Why? Is there something unusual about the pregnancy indicating the need for an early delivery?

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If she can safely avoid induction, it's probably a good thing. Keep us updated!

 

That's the thing, the induction was recommended purely because of the risk to the baby in waiting, given the history with her abruption and whatnot. All we can do now is hope things work out on their own, and that nothing goes wrong. My ex has her mind made up.

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Why? Is there something unusual about the pregnancy indicating the need for an early delivery?

 

After she had sex with her creepy new boyfriend or whatever she wants to call him, she had an abruption. Not an extreme one, apparently, but still, an abruption.

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All medical info coming to you is filtered through your Ex?

Just trying to clarify what you're sharing.

 

Yessir. Unfortunately, I have no other outlet for any type of info on the baby. :(

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Yeah I think you're handling all of this very well considering the situation you find yourself in. Surely your Ex could/should have signed a medical release to allow you direct communication w physicians. Of course doing that severely limits Ex's opportunity to manipulate you. Be of good cheer and know that most of this is beyond "normal", it's not about you.

 

This infant boy will have his way soon enough. Give us an update.

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delighted_delilah

There's nothing remotely fishy about this; I had the same thing happen when I was supposed to get induced with my second child.

 

You know..... I understand your anger towards your ex, and respect your desire for information, etc. That said, respectfully, this is HER labour experience, not yours. You have absolutely no idea how terrifying childbirth is, regardless of whether or not this is the first, second, third, fourth time the woman is going through it. Induction tends to make for a more traumatic delivery, both for mother and baby, which your ex is almost certainly aware of.

Once this baby is born and the paternity issues are settled (and please, PLEASE do not let the baby's looks convince you that baby is definitely yours; you NEED a test) then you can absolutely expect and demand equal rights etc. As of now, however, this is about the baby and the woman carrying and birthing that baby.

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FWIW, I have given birth twice, once was natural in a freestanding birth center on a four poster bed, the second most recent one I had to be induced 29 hours after my waters broke with prodromal labor and had to go to the hospital (I had planned a home birth). I got a pitocin drip (I did, however, opt for no pharmaceutical pain management, I just take an 800mg Ibuprofen when I am getting sewn up) - the second birth with the induction/pit assist was much more painful and intense.

 

Giving birth is a terribly scary experience. I hope that everything turns out to the highest good and benefit of all involved.

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That said, respectfully, this is HER labour experience, not yours.

 

Like I said, my two cents on any subject involving the baby means s**t, unless I happen to agree with whatever my ex is doing. Figured that out a long time ago. I already know this is her labor experience. Sorry, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to have an opinion on issues that could very well involve the health/ life of the baby. Anyway, that's why I didn't say any of this stuff to her. I simply told her I support whatever decision she makes, and I know she would never do anything that would intentionally hurt the baby. I gave her encouragement, and sure enough, what I said mattered at that point. It's funny how this works.

 

Induction tends to make for a more traumatic delivery, both for mother and baby, which your ex is almost certainly aware of.

 

I'm just going off what the ex tells me. And what she's told me time and time again, is how the midwives and OB consultant are constantly trying to steer her in the direction of getting an induction. The baby's life is way more likely to be at risk. One of her doctor's even told her she was risking the baby's life by not agreeing to it. Whether or not the doctors know what they're talking about or not, MY opinion on the matter is solely based off of what they say. And that's what they've been saying for a long time now.

 

My ex is going to do whatever the hell she wants, because it's her baby. Well, I sure hope her gut is telling her to do the right things, and the birth is a success. I'm sure it will be, but if it were me, I would have gone through with the induction. That's just my two cents.

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Yeah well when she's forced herself into a fetal distress situation, emergency C-Section medically imperative, the birth will be quick. Please know that I'm not wishing that outcome. It's medically known what her high probability options are. I'm guessing the girl has a minimal understanding of statistical analysis.

 

She's entitled to her decisions, entitled to go against medical advice. Yup, she's gonna deliver, one way or another.

 

Hang in there.

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Yeah well when she's forced herself into a fetal distress situation, emergency C-Section medically imperative, the birth will be quick. Please know that I'm not wishing that outcome. It's medically known what her high probability options are. I'm guessing the girl has a minimal understanding of statistical analysis.

 

She's entitled to her decisions, entitled to go against medical advice. Yup, she's gonna deliver, one way or another.

 

Hang in there.

 

I would hope she wouldn't need a C-section, either. But hey, whatever happens, like you said, she is going to deliver, one way or another. She should be popping that baby out pretty soon here.

 

As always, thanks to all LS'ers for giving me this place to vent (sometimes over and over and over) and giving me all your honest opinions/ suggestions, etc.

 

Until the baby comes, I'm trying to stay distracted with work. And I'm dog-sitting my co-workers 3-legged pooch, for a total of three dogs running loose in my house. So that should also keep me occupied.

 

Time is ticking. :)

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Putting your focus on your own life is what's important. The ticking clock is indeed winding down on the birth but then the paternity test clock begins ticking.

 

Based on your sharing of her medical situation and facts, I encourage you to frame your understanding/reaction to an emergency Caesarian procedure. It generally happens on the fly, it's likely you'll not have travel time. As I recall you live some distance from her medical facility?

 

Has she mentioned "fetal nonstress test" during her sharing of why her physician is talking about fetal risk?

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Balzac, yes, she has been going in once a week since she hit 21 weeks, for fetal stress tests. Well see what the doctors tell her at tomorrows appt.

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You didn't have that baby yet? I hope you are nowhere near her when she is in labor for your own sake.

 

You're freaking me out, amysngrace! Do you think she's going to rip my head off during labor? I've heard of that sort of thing happening before. :eek:

Dammit. I need a cigarette now.

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Childbirth can make normal girls a little psycho and she's a little psycho to begin with but I'll just say what my lawyer told me...hey, you picked her.

 

:laugh:

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Childbirth can make normal girls a little psycho and she's a little psycho to begin with but I'll just say what my lawyer told me...hey, you picked her.

 

:laugh:

 

So true. Why couldn't I have realized she is psycho before all of this happened?:confused:

 

Oh well. Gotta deal with it.

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