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What A Crappy Day It's Been


amaysngrace

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My daughter threatened to kill herself on tumblr. A friend saw it and tried to talk her down but she was still in a bad way and her friend wasn't getting through to her. So she got a hold of my daughters very good friend and explained the situation and told her that they needed to let me know.

 

Her very good friend and her mom texted me and told me to stop by...it was an emergency so I did. I read what she blogged. :(

 

My daughter is in a whole lot of pain and I kept blowing her off by making light of it. I told her the usual things...be thankful for something every day...go for a bike ride...get out of the house more...focus on the positive...think of kids with cancer...etc.

 

Anyway after having extensive bloodwork done and trying melatonin and St.Johns Wort last year she fell back into depression again. I didn't realize it was so bad. In summer she's fine and she says she hates school and she wants to be homeschooled but I never put it together that my kid was being bullied.

 

She went to Marco Island last week for eight days and I guess that was enough for her to have something to look forward to but after it was over I guess that's where her hope stopped. It broke my heart to know she is so sad.

 

I took her to the ER and they transferred her by ambulance to Atlantic City because they have a psych ward and then after speaking with the psychiatrist she was transferred to a facility about 90 miles away again by ambulance.

 

It sucks so bad that no matter how great you think a kid is it matters nothing if they don't think they're great too.

 

I get one hour visit with her a day while she's there. She probably won't be out by thanksgiving.

 

I just got back about a half an hour ago from dropping her off and this all happened on Sunday so I'm pretty much drained from the past 30 hours.

 

I don't even know how I drove home. :(

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Hugs to you!

 

I feel for you. This is a very difficult time for you and as a parent, I understand some of the pain you are enduring. :(

 

I wish I had just the right words to take away your pain and make your daughter understand that she has a full life ahead of her....despite how dark it looks right now.

 

 

Please keep us updated. We are here for you. :)

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GorillaTheater

I'm so sorry, Amaysn. I've had my own, not as serious, incidents with cutting and other delf-destructive behaviors with my kids, that I felt pretty inadequate to deal with. So I have some idea of the heartache and worry you're dealing with. You just want to fix her, but so much is beyond your control. I hope you're not beating yourself up; you did the best you could based on what you knew and what she shared with you.

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I am so sorry. That is so hard. like Gorilla i too had some experience with a daughter and cutting etc.. not as serious but I understand a little how helpless you must be feeling and terrified.

 

Just know you did the right thing and immediately got her help. And don't beat yourself up over not seeing more signs etc... kids can be good at hiding their emotions.

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I am sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your daughter. Don't beat yourself up, you didn't know how bad it had gotten for her. You got her help as soon as you did know. Take care of yourself while she is getting treatment, so you can be strong for her. Depression can be deadly when left untreated, but the good news is that it can be treated!

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Thank you all so much for your kind words, caring and support. XO

 

The nurse who distributes meds said she doesn't see a need for them right now and they're just going to go with therapy to start.

 

I'm getting a ton of support here. My mom is pretty broken up about it for her and for me too. She and I were just talking the other day about how mean some kids can be. She told me that I don't need to bring anything to Thanksgiving dinner. I was suppose to do marshmallow sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce because this year we were all going to bring something seeing how my parents house still isn't right from Sandy. They told me just to show up.

 

My friend has my family on a prayer list at her church and brought a couple meals over so my son can get fed. He can't visit because he's a minor. My oldest son is home from college and he's been great.

 

I texted her dad and he showed up within an hour for her. She knows she's loved. And when times are tough she count on us to be there for her. She kept saying that she didn't realize how much she mattered to people.

 

She also knows that she has two wonderful friends who have her back.

 

I'm optimistic for her future. It's just a difficult place to be right now.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hopefully she'll get the help she needs with the right kind of medication to manage her depression. There's a lot of good products out there that are very effective and can really make a huge difference in a person's life.

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Really sorry to hear about this Amay- can't imagine how stressful it must be for you.

 

Glad you have help and support, and I really hope they make a difference.

 

Hugs..

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Thank you Friends. XO

 

We had counseling yesterday, herself, her dad and me.

 

She really doesn't like him and she was not trusting me. I dismissed her feelings but it is because I admire her so much. I would tell myself that she's so smart and grounded and has such a good head on her shoulders that I thought she was complaining and I kind of just left it at that.

 

But in all honesty I don't know how hard her life has been. She lived domestic violence. She had fear from the time she was born. What should have been a normal life was anything but. I was unaware of the damage that can cause.

 

But after counseling her dad left and she and I got to talk and I apologized to her and we opened up to one another.

 

It turns out we both really missed each other.

 

I hope that everyone has a beautiful Thanksgiving. My daughter is still there and she's only allowed two visitors for one hour and she said that her dad and her step-mom can go. She wants me to be with my family and she wants her step-mom to be there with her dad so they can both act all phony together. He does act around his wife. So it's kind of like she gets a little bit of theater.

 

But thank you so much for all your prayers and kind words. I wish you all a wonderful day with the ones that matter most. :)

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It turns out we both really missed each other.

 

That's really nice. My heart goes out to you.

 

 

My daughter is still there and she's only allowed two visitors for one hour and she said that her dad and her step-mom can go. She wants me to be with my family and she wants her step-mom to be there with her dad so they can both act all phony together. He does act around his wife. So it's kind of like she gets a little bit of theater.

 

this cracked me up a little :)

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Thank you Friends. XO

 

We had counseling yesterday, herself, her dad and me.

 

She really doesn't like him and she was not trusting me. I dismissed her feelings but it is because I admire her so much. I would tell myself that she's so smart and grounded and has such a good head on her shoulders that I thought she was complaining and I kind of just left it at that.

 

But in all honesty I don't know how hard her life has been. She lived domestic violence. She had fear from the time she was born. What should have been a normal life was anything but. I was unaware of the damage that can cause.

 

But after counseling her dad left and she and I got to talk and I apologized to her and we opened up to one another.

 

It turns out we both really missed each other.

 

I hope that everyone has a beautiful Thanksgiving. My daughter is still there and she's only allowed two visitors for one hour and she said that her dad and her step-mom can go. She wants me to be with my family and she wants her step-mom to be there with her dad so they can both act all phony together. He does act around his wife. So it's kind of like she gets a little bit of theater.

 

But thank you so much for all your prayers and kind words. I wish you all a wonderful day with the ones that matter most. :)

 

Hi amaysngrace,

 

That apology I'm sure meant so much to your daughter.

When kids feel like they were wronged by their parents, it means a lot to be validated and apologized to. Some parents can't even bring themselves to give their kids that much.

 

I love that you're doing all you can to protect her and communicate with her and always keep those channels open.

 

I read your OP and my hear was breaking for you. I don't even have kids but I could imagine what that would be like (to see someone so precious be in so much pain).

 

I'm sending you and your daughter all my happy thoughts and vibes and I just wanted to let you know that I think you're awesome!! :)

 

I hope your daughter finds her way out of this to her happiness and peace of mind :)

 

***HUGS***

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Just seeing this thread now, A.

I'm so sorry you're going through this but so happy supportive parts are in place and she is safe.

 

It's huge that you're able to empathize with her feelings of being unsafe; that you apologized; that you both felt healed a bit.

Good stuff is happening now.

Keep communicating and yes, take the day to recharge with more family and find some balance.

 

Much love, Amaysn.

You truly are.

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I look like crap. Even when I wake up after sleeping all night I still look tired.

 

I'm very sorry if I'm snippy with people. I'm not trying to be. :(

 

She's still there at that facility, that "behavior health center", and she seems to be doing well with it all. It's a nice place.

 

I'm just exhausted. It's 82 miles from my house one way and I drive there every day just to spend an hour with her. It's killing me emotionally. I went and saw my mom today too. She told me my bags have bags. :eek:

 

I just want her to come home. :(

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I'm very sorry if I'm snippy with people. I'm not trying to be. :(

 

I haven't noticed you being snippy. I was thinking of you earlier, wondering how you were getting on.

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I haven't noticed you being snippy. I was thinking of you earlier, wondering how you were getting on.

 

Thank you. It's been a hell of a week. If I knew it beforehand I would have titled this thread week instead of day.

 

I'm getting nothing done around here. I feel like I'm failing at everything. Except driving. I am acquiring mad skills there. I get there in less than one hour some days.

 

But oh so tired. :(

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I feel like I'm failing at everything.

 

You're NOT failing! You are being the BEST mom....not letting you daughter feel alone (especially around the holidays), showing her how important she is to you, not giving up. I admire your strength and tenacity. Just don't get overwhelmed with everything....keep focused on each day, and don't worry about tomorrow (at least too much).

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That was quick! No 30 days?

 

She's home now!! :bunny:

 

None of those kids stay there for 30 days, most stay for like ten. She sees an independent counselor here at home next week but she's back in school tomorrow.

 

What made you think she'd stay that long? :confused:

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Great news, Amaysn! How are you all doing?

 

Hi. Thanks Gorilla. :)

 

It was a rough week, I'm not going to pretend it wasn't, but she's home now and she seems to be a lot more expressive so we shall see. :)

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GorillaTheater
Hi. Thanks Gorilla. :)

 

It was a rough week, I'm not going to pretend it wasn't, but she's home now and she seems to be a lot more expressive so we shall see. :)

 

Fingers crossed for you and your daughter.

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