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12 weeks pregnant- with an out of the country baby daddy?


Abbey1234

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Hi there, I'm new here so I hope this is the right forum!!

 

So long story short- I'm 12 weeks pregnant with and unplanned pregnancy and myself and the father broke up around 2 weeks ago for complicated reasons.

 

(we were initially going to exercise our right to choose and had an appointment for a termination but I changed my mind- he broke up with me after I changed my mind. I'm not sure if it was bad timing or if it was due to my change of mind.Anyway, we had plans to move country together but now he's left the country and I am on my own.)

 

He says he still wants to be involved with the baby but I don't personally know how I can allow it as he has left us- its not that he left me romantically, I can get over that. But the next 6 months are going to be very difficult on my own- and sure I have support from friends and family etc but its not the same- and he is planning on just swooping back into the country for 2 weeks when I give birth? Then leaving again. I just dont know how you can be a father when you are going to miss everything.

 

Im finding it really difficult to seperate my hormonal emotions and my actual thoughts on this, I just really hate him for leaving us like this.

Oh, and as I have a new job in September in a different location (only 2 hours away from where I am now) he is all oh well I can come back then and take over for you- what mother is going to give her 4 month old child to the father who hasnt been around? Im just very confused, I know it is admirable that he wants to be involved (though I still hold it against him that he wanted me to get a termination, and really fought it when I changed my mind) but I just feel I cant trust or rely on him right now.

 

Anyone else with similiar experiences?

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Given that he broke up with you and left the country, I would recommend not relying on him or his promises with respect to anything.

 

Beyond that, I feel much more detail is needed for people to understand your situation:

 

Your age?

His age?

How long were you together?

Was your relationship meant to be serious and longterm or permanent?

Why did you break up?

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Given that he broke up with you and left the country, I would recommend not relying on him or his promises with respect to anything.

 

Yeah I would agree with this. Plan to raise the baby on your own, if he wants to be involved let him, denying him his child will be a ton of drama. He can always fight you in court for custody rights which would be a mess for a child.

 

Bottom line is that this guy may not REALLY be serious about being a father, I mean he broke up with you because you decided not to terminate. He has made his intentions pretty clear.

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