How old is too old to become a parent?

[stefany]

Just wanted to hear opinions from a few of you:

 

At what age do you consider too old to become a parent?

 

No reason just a question I was asked and wondered what others answers would be.

[quankanne]

when you're more concerned about your teenager stealing your retirement check than you are about anything else!

[yes]

I think as people get older, they become less flexible, and having a kid is a huge change in one's life (not that I have kids, but I imagine it is!). So i'd say that a person isn't too long for as long as they're flexible enough to stand such a change, and are up to all the work of bringing up a kid.

 

In general though, I think having kids while pretty young is a good idea - it's easier when the age gap is smaller, I think - just from observation of families I know.

 

-yes

[quankanne]

I think younger is better, too, because as yes points out, it gets harder to adapt to a new way of life as you get older. Plus, you've just got more energy to chase little kids around in your 20s than in your 40s.

[steffany]

I like that! Stealing your retirement check!

 

I put 40 as an age that might be too old but the number one answer on the poll was 50!

 

Imagine having a child at 50...that would be like raising your grandchildren I guess.

 

I was pretty suprised by the answer! I thought 40 was streching it and that is only because my bf is 38.

[yes]

i think it's also a little bit different for men and women, stefany. having a baby is more of a physical stress for the woman, so she needs to do it while still young.

 

for a man, as long as he's in good mental and physical health, the age limit is higher, i think.

 

-yes

[Prettybear]

i actually think that u gotta think that if ur 40 when its 20 ull be 60... which is ok but if ur 50 when theyre 20 ur gonna be 70. so i'd say about 45. i know someone who thought they were in the menepause and they were pregnant. so he has sisters who were 25 when he was born and he's younger than his nephews... strange.

 

however i'm 19 and im havin a baby!

 

i think that ur never too old but u just gotta think about how fair it is cos u could leave a child without a mother at alot younger an age.

 

but if u want a baby and ur still able to then i would have a baby if u got the support system.

[tabbico]

I had my first child at 38, second at 40. They are now 17 and 15 (do the math), and I have not had any problems being an older mother. If anything, by the time they were born, I had a career, was making good money, and think, at least for me, I was more mature and financially stable than in my youth and better able to take care of them.

 

The only problem I ever had was one of their friends thinking I was their grandmother.

 

I still have plenty of energy and keep up with them no problem.

[Riles]

I think that if the parent is concerned they will die of old age before the kid graduates highschool then that is deffiently too old.

 

Other then that. I don't see anything wrong with Women having children in there 40's. But beyond that, is taking it to extremes, I think.

[HokeyReligions]

24.

 

Need to have them while you are young and don't know what you are in for!

 

 

I could not imagine having a baby in mid-30's or older! My best friends mom (when we were in high school) was 46 when she had her. She was 62 when her daughter graduated from high school. She didn't even have a chance to enjoy senior years.

 

I get tired just thinking of having to chase a kid around at my age!

[cindy0039]

You're only as old as you feel. And age really is just a number! I'm over 40 and I could definitely see myself being a mother again if I still had the body parts needed (you get the picture).

 

I had my son when I was only 22 and looking back, that was too young. I was immature and didn't know the first thing about raising a child. I mean, I loved him to death and gave him all that I had, but I think I "had" more to offer him when I was older, and by that time he was half grown - lol.

 

My best friend had a baby 2 1/2 years ago and she was kind enough to totally include me in the process, including being there for her ultrasound and at the birth. I feel like I totally bonded with him and when she started back to work I kept him full-time until just recently when they decided to put him in a Montessori school with his older brother. I never had a problem energy-wise and took him everywhere with me. People always assumed he was mine.

 

I still keep him as much as possible (even overnight) because I consider him like part of my family and love him very much. I know people are going to say, "Yes, but that's different than on a full-time 24/7 basis." But I really don't think so. Because by the time he got home from my house really all that was left to do was feed him dinner, bathe him and get him ready for bed and I know I can handle that, especially with a hubby around to help out.

 

My point really is that everybody is different. Some people may consider themselves old and tired by the age of 45; others are still young and have plenty of energy. In my case, the little ones GIVE me energy and make me feel more alive. When someone else needs you, you'd be surprised how much you can step up to the plate.

[cdn]

I second all that Cindy said. Also, for some women, it is more feasible to stay home with a child when they are older. I had my first child after I had established myself professionally and proven to myself that I was capable of achieving career success at the highest levels. When my first child arrived, I had no problem making the transition to home-based employment. I wonder if it would have been as easy had I had my children earlier or if I'd always have had a nagging feeling of having missed out on a career. On the other hand, I am sometimes shocked to think that when my mother was the age I am now, I was already out of college and established on my own. Meanwhile, my youngest is just 5!

[amerikajin]

I think children should at least have a reasonable expectation that their parents are going to live long enough to see them graduate from high school and begin life on their own. After that, parents aren't as crucial to the development of the child, though they're always important at any age.

 

In my case, my father was 49 when I was born. That was a little "old" I suppose, but he was young enough to see me through my most important periods of development and then some. He died six years ago, when I was 23. By that point, though, he'd had a good life, and I'd benefited from his parental guidance.

 

Honestly, if a person is thinking about becoming a parent at the age of 60 or older, I think that might be a bit old. I know it's not p.c. these days to say a person's "too old" to do something, but the reality is, sometimes we ARE too old to do some things. At the same time, I don't know if there's a magic age or some line at which we can say we've reached the threshold for parenting. Different people have different lifestyles, different conditions and different genetics, so that comes into play too. Again, I think we have to think about the child first. If there's some question as to whether or not we can meet their basic needs - whether it be age, health, finances, or the desire to have children - then we shouldn't have children.