handling bad kids...

[jalexy]

I am going to be a teacher one day and I am awful at handling bad children (i have more years in school to properly teach me). but.....until then., i would like advice from ppl who know how to handle kids correctly?

what do you do if your child doesnt listen to you? calls you names? what if someone else's child calls you a name when the parent isnt there?

i have heard that you are not supposed to show that you are angry. how do you keep your power and also make sure this kid knows who's boss without breaking laws? (well not breaking laws, but without spanking and whatnot)

[moimeme]

First and foremost, make sure that the kid isn't a kid with a disorder. Whatever the issue, patience is a MUST. Nobody likes to be ordered around, even kids. Good parents and teachers encourage cooperation.

 

If you want to learn this stuff before getting to the classes that will teach you, go to the library and get some books out for yourself. Go to babysitter training. There are sites and even chat rooms for classroom management. Search on 'classroom management' in Google and that should keep you busy for quite a while.

[jalexy]

awesome! thank you!

[steffany]

They are only children. I know at times that may seem so hard.

 

I used to teach art classes and it was challanging at times. What I learned is redirection.

 

Sometimes explaining things to children about how it hurts your feelings is like talking to a wall. But if a student yells out a name such as "stinky butt" at you. Why don't you think up a game for a minute. Obviously there is a disturbance because the attention is not on the same task as you.

 

So say I have an idea lets see who can come up with a name that ryhmes with the name I pick and then some one will ryhm with thiers and so on and so on. Ok the name I pick is "Sally Sue" then come up with the next one just to explain better. So one of you could say "Boy Blue". Then call on the child who called you stinky butt to come up with another.

 

After about 5 minutes and after a few good laughs you can go on with the lesson. Usually a break or just some good ol fashion fun can kick the badness out of the room.

 

But my rule of thumb was redirection. It can get frustrating but if you stay calm and cool you'll win the fight. And if it seems like your about to loose your cool just put the child as your helper. Or put him away from everyone and give him an activity to do and while he is busy trying to do a word search you can deviously change your lesson plan to include a game of bingo with m&m's.

 

When a child sees that when he/she is introuble good things happen with the rest of the class he/she can not be apart of the child usually catches on.

 

Good luck to you! Being a teacher is so rewarding!

[jalexy]

in this situation where this kid calls you a name, i cant help but feel by making a game out of it- you are encouraging him to do it more often. what do you think ? did i read it wrong? help!

[steffany]

First of all I taught young children who sometimes talk without thinking and do things primarily to get attention...I don't like to give bad attention.

 

Let me explain something. I was ADHD...well still am. But growing up I was always being yelled at by teachers, told I was bad, asked not to write cursive but to print because it was "horrible"...and the test was a writing test!

 

The list can go on and on.

 

But I did the same thing as my teachers for the first 2 years I taught. I battled with my "bad children" for leadership and control of my class.

 

It was a bad no good two years. I hated teaching most days. I felt like all I did was raise my voice and use "quite time" I got burned out.

 

Then one day I was hanging out with my godson. And we went to a movie and right when the theater got quite he dropped his candy. He asked me to pick it up for him but I was busy taking his little sisters coat off and told him he would need to get it. At this point he stood ON his chair and made an X with his arms across his hips and yelled "suck it!"

 

In case some of you don't know this is done by a wrestler. I was mortified. This kid is always so well mannered and just an angel! I was so confused on what made him do that.

 

At any case I decided that was not going to be OK. So we left the theater. His little sister being 3 really didn't care. I started to talk with him about it and ask questions of him and he could not come up with an answer as to why he would do such a thing.

 

Later at his house his mom asked him to clean his room before dinner and he called her a name! I thought what on earth was happening to this boy.

 

Well after a long talk with him...I had to make it seem like we were just hanging out in his room...he told me that he was mad that his dad had another little boy with his new wife. I asked him if that was why he was acting like he was. He said he didn't know but at school they send him in the hall by himself and the other kids laugh and seem to like him more.

 

So when I returned to class and I heard a name yelled at me I would not justify it the way the child intended. They know it is wrong to call names at anyone much less teachers. And to be honest by the middle of the year it had changed to "Ms.Stephanie, Can we play the name game?" I never had name calling problems after that. Besides my kids were great at rhyming when it finally showed up in the curriculum!

 

You know teaching can be a tricky thing and each teacher is just trying to do their best. And I feel as long as you and the children are all happy then that's what matters. Because only then can teaching be done correctly.

[Clancy]

I've given workshops to teachers on classroom management and discipline and I have to say that teacher training programs don't seem to do a very good job of preparing teachers to deal with discipline problems. Basically, I think Moimeme's suggestion that you study this area on your own is excellent advice.

 

Some people think that teachers with good crowd control techniques are born not made and I think that's untrue. Yes, some people are naturals but those who aren't can learn. Check out William Glasser's work as well as Lee Canter's and Barbara Colrosso's . From people like these design your own philosophy, techniques, and approaches.

 

Some things I'd say to start you off is One, get close to a kid when you intervene. If a kid is misbehaving don't try to discipline from across the room. Get into his/her space and talk in a low and calm voice but a firm no nonsense one. This works for many kids. Invading their personal space is a control thing and you can gain control of a situation by doing this.

 

Two, don't argue witha kid. Ther's nothing more ineffective than answering a kid's every question when he/she is misbehaving. Or trying to rationalize with a kid or to make him understand your motivation. That may or may not work with your own kids at home but it's a recipe for failure with a group of kids. Instead, Carry out what's known as the broken record technique. No matter what the kid says or asks just repeat your instruction, over and over again with very little variation in a firm unyielding voice. And focus on that one kid until he/she changes the behaviour. Once you've succeeeded with that child future success is more likely.

 

After school, when you're alone with a child is the time to try to explain and rationalize. That's when the child has far fewer distractions and you are not called upon to deal with 15 to 25 other kids at the same time. On top of all this I'd say ignore a lot. By ignoring you can often extinguish attention seeking behaviour and show students you are in control and that you pick the issues to deal with. Good luck.

[moimeme]

Clancy - I hope that people like you are much more aware of issues like AD/HD and LD and are teaching that the behaviours they may cause are not 'discipline issues'. I keep hearing from parents that lots of teachers still aren't aware of these issues or how to deal with kids with them. It appears there is still a huge amount of work to be done in this area.

[HokeyReligions]

Sounds like great advice Clancy. I admire anyone who can be a teacher, besides the kids - there is so much bureaucracy to contend with.

 

Way back when -- if we were bad in class we got paddled. That seemed to work pretty well and didn't do us any harm. Too bad we can't still do that.

[steffany]

Do you watch King of the Hill? You just reminded me of the episode where Peggy Hill takes a paddle to "scare" the kids and ends up using it on one of the kids!

 

It made me cheer for her because there have been many times when I felt a good paddeling would be most helpful!

 

Such a funny episode

[Clancy]

Moimeme, yes I'm aware of the impact things like learning disabilities can have on childrens' behaviour and yes I do include attention to these areas in my workshops and presentations. But teachers need to, as you and I have both suggested, train themselves by continuing to study and develop professionally thoroughout their career. Workshops such as mine, which deal with classroom discipline and management are general in nature and aren't sufficient to help prepare teachers to deal with the individual needs of all students. That said, the skills I learned as a teacher and teach in workshops can help a new teacher keep from being overwhelmed by discipline problems during the first year or so of school.

[ilovemybabies]

Last year, my son went to a Head Start program and I kept having to come get him at least 5 times a month for his behavior. I finally pulled him out in April. He is in a Christian kindergarten this year and they have a system where the teacher gives them 3 laminated paper butterflies. They get butterflies taken away for misbehavior and talking out in class, etc. Then, they get a chance during naptime to get them back. If they lose all 3 they have to see the principal and if it is a blatent, and disrespectful offense, they get 3 licks with a paddle, with another teacher to witness, of the opposite sex. They spank over the clothes, of course. Then, the child is talked to, hugged and prayed with. My son has had to see the principal 4 times this month, and 3 of those were in the first week alone. He was really giving them fits. But, I have seen a marked improvement in his demeanor and behavior at home. He is a more pleasant child to be around. Time outs do NOT do it for my son. Spanking for more serious offenses, and taking away privleges works best.

 

I realize there are those who think spanking is the evil of most evil. That all we do is abuse our kids. Let me tell you there is a difference between abuse and spanking. A big difference. My MIL raised 12 kids, and spanked them all. NONE of them are criminals, none are welfare bums or other kinds of bums, and ALL of them are either SAHMs or work. They all adore their parents. So it just shows me that spankings, when used appropriately, work. My other son, on the other hand, has Sensory Integration Dysfunction, and some things he does, he cannot help. He doesn't get spanked for what he cannot help. Time outs DO work better for him.