son keeps picking poop out of his diaper. !!!

[hcd03]

I am getting SOOO frustrated with this. My son is 4 years old and still in diapers. I know that sounds wrong, but please listen. My son was born incredibly early and has had delays in development. However, he is quickly catching up to many of his issues. He is now talking, playing, going to preschool with kids his own age. However, I just cannot get him to potty train. And recently, in the past few months, he has started picking the poop out of his diaper. Usually he'll only do it when he's alone. But he'll pull it out, manage to smear it all over himself and his bed and the floor. My fiance and I have continually expressed our disapproval of this and have told him over and over again to call for us if he needs to poop or if he poops in his diaper. He keeps on doing it, and I have tried everything i can think of to get him to stop. We've tried spanking, and we've tried making him clean it up himself. We've even just let him lay in it. It sounds so horrible, I know. But what can I do?

 

Can anyone give me some ideas on how to stop this? And also non-traditional ideas on how to potty train? He doesn't care whether he's sitting in a wet diaper or not and won't ever indicate when he has to go. He also wants to get off the potty immediately after getting on. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm getting tired of cleaning up the messes. And it's getting embarrassing having other women "tut tut" in public restrooms when I change him.