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Giving in to the youngest just too much


amiblind42

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Hello everyone, I have one other post on here regarding my relationship with my "life partner" so I appreciate all of your comments and assistance dearly.

My partner is 42 divorced (as am I ) with two boys (9 and 10) he gets to keep two nights a week at our house. I have had no children from my previous marriage. I get along with is boys wonderfully and am always trying to create new things to do with them.

 

Mind you I have never had experience with children except for two of my nephews, which are both in their teens now. May I ask for some advice regarding a situation I see happening between the father and the youngest child?

 

The youngest child has to have his way regarding EVERYTHING. And I am not exagerrating when I say EVERYTHING. If he doesn't get what he wants for dinner he gets upset, if he doesn't get what he sees at the store he throws a fit. Unfortunatley his father gives in to him 100% of the time. Here are some examples:

For example we can plan out a nice meal for the 3 of us and he will detest it every time, so his father would have to cook him something "special" just for him.

 

The child does NOT do anything that is asked of him without an argument. When asked, he wont even retrieve his items upon leaving the house such as his book bag and clothes, and has his dad gather up his things. The elder child does it with no probem. The child literally tells his father "he doesn't want to do it" and therefore the father always does it.

 

We go out to our local Target and we usually set a budget for them both to follow (say 20.00). The elder child always stays within the budget, but the younger one creates a scene when he is told he has to stay within his budget. So this results in the child getting way more then he should have simply because he stomped his feet and cried. One day our bill trippled because of the younger child carrying on so badly about wanting what he saw, and his father gave into him. This happens often. He just wont stick to his word. This is frustrating for me to watch. I see him bend and crawl to please his little one and he doesn't even get so much as say thank you for it. And I know it bothers him that he feels he has to give in to him all the time. So what do I do? I feel bad for the older child as he does not get the attention that the younger one does because he is quiet and goes along with the rules that are set, but the younger child knows he can get all of the attention by creating a scene. Again I have no parenting experience but can clearly see ( and others also have noted it as well) that he just gives in to this child way more than he should.

Do I step in or just quietly watch his frustration?

He has mentioned his frustration to me a few times and I very gently agreed that he does give in to him more than he probably should. I love having the boys over when we do, but the youngest child just makes everything so difficult and I am just not sure how to deal with this.

Is this a common thing in parenting?

I asked him how his X wife handles him and he stated that she doesn't, she pretty much lets him have his way obviously.

 

I am not sure how to handle this one.

Thanks all!

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