mopar crazy Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 We live in the country 20 miles from town where H and I work, and the kids go to school. The kids are ALWAYS bitching we wont drop everything to make the 80 mile round trip (there, back home, back to town, and then home again) so they can go to a friends house when they are invited at the last damn minute! Son's friend called at 11:45 wanting son to come over at 1:00. I told son NO, I'm not doing it today, not at the last minute. Both my kids know the rules, no last minute crap like this. H decides he needs to go to town to get groceries so he will take him. He asked if the boys parents can bring son home, nope, they are working. I highly doubt that. I told the kids I'm tired of it. We are moving to town and the farm cats (our mousers) they just HAD to have are gone, they will be given away to free, good homes. They don't like that idea but we can't take a bunch of cats to town w/ us. The kids parents never offer to help transport my kids or their kids. They can't have it both ways and I'm tired of the fighting b/c they want to go to town all the time. I never pulled this crap w/ my parents when I was growing up and we lived 3 miles from town. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 We live in the country 20 miles from town.. I told the kids I'm tired of it. We are moving to town. I'd hate to move to town after living in the country. Just drive the kids as much as you can, it's important for them, with kids you just need a lot of patience. Let them decide, they are wise. Not worth it to move to town for that. I'm afraid you'll regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 I'd hate to move to town after living in the country. Just drive the kids as much as you can, it's important for them, with kids you just need a lot of patience. Let them decide, they are wise. Not worth it to move to town for that. I'm afraid you'll regret it. Believe me, I don't want to move to town. I LOVE it out here. Sure, it's a PITA b/c it's so far and the gas prices but it's worth it. What we are paying in rent here we would be paying $200-$300 or more a month in town renting or even buying. I have tried finding houses closer to town but they go fast or they are so much $. I guess what really annoys me the most is the last minute plans, and the parents not willing to help out w/ transporation. When my daughter spends the night at my sisters (30+ miles one way) I take her and pick her up but there are times my sister or BIL offer to meet me in town. SO, at least they work w/ me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Hi, I guess what really annoys me the most is the last minute plans Sometimes when you leave these things in the hands of the children they work it out. If they want you to drive them, you do it. Next time around, they might think it better and tell their friends something that makes more sense to you. Once you give judgement to them they are pretty amazing with these things. and the parents not willing to help out w/ transporation. That sucks. Have you tried suggesting your kids to invite the friends over to stay the night? Once the parents see your place they might love for their kids to spend some time there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Hi, I guess what really annoys me the most is the last minute plans Sometimes when you leave these things in the hands of the children they work it out. If they want you to drive them, you do it. Next time around, they might think it better and tell their friends something that makes more sense to you. Once you give judgement to them they are pretty amazing with these things. and the parents not willing to help out w/ transporation. That sucks. Have you tried suggesting your kids to invite the friends over to stay the night? Once the parents see your place they might love for their kids to spend some time there. Huh, I'm kind of confused w/ the bold part. Are you saying that I drop everything to take them to town when it's last minute? Yes, my kids have had friends over to spend the night plenty of times. Only problem is, the parents leave it up to me to pick them up, and take them home. It's very rare I can get a parent to help out w/ the transportation of their children. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Huh, I'm kind of confused w/ the bold part. Are you saying that I drop everything to take them to town when it's last minute? Well, this is just a personal choice. In my case, whatever my son says I do. Usually, it works out great. If I tell him, no, then things can get into an argument and nobody is happy. I prefer to go along with him, and soon, he starts making the best decisions for both. Kids realize of all these things and work it out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Well, this is just a personal choice. In my case, whatever my son says I do. Usually, it works out great. If I tell him, no, then things can get into an argument and nobody is happy. I prefer to go along with him, and soon, he starts making the best decisions for both. Kids realize of all these things and work it out for the best. Um, ok....guess that is where and I are different. How old is your son? I work in the Early Childhood Education and if I let the children in my class do things THEY want to do so it wont cause any arguments well, it's just wouldn't be safe, lol. I use the same w/ my own children. If it's not convenient for me, I'm not doing it and they need to learn that not everything is going to go there way. That is life. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Move to town...enjoy it. When your kids are grown, move back to the country...have something to look forward to. Sounds like a great plan to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Move to town...enjoy it. When your kids are grown, move back to the country...have something to look forward to. Sounds like a great plan to me! Yes, I could move to town, BUT I wont enjoy it. The thought of moving back to town makes me ill! My kids can't have it both ways. They love living out in the country too, and when I have threatened to move to town they say they don't want to. They need to learn to compromise and that means to MAKE plans ahead of time, not an hour or two. I have looked at places in town and have called on them but then my kids say they don't want to move to town. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 How old are your kids again MP? I can't remember... Don't sell your place! Rent it out. Link to post Share on other sites
4givrnt4gtr Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 hmmmm honestly? i wouldnt move into town so that my kids can go have playdates...aka I wouldnt changing my whole lifestyle that i love, in order to please my kids in something that is not entirely necessary. I think its more reasonable (and even healthy for you!) to talk to the parents of the kids...why do YOU have to always give in?? I would talk to them, tell them that you love their kids and your kids to spend time together, but that you'd like for them to help you out with their own kids transportations, maybe even talk about some sort of schedule, per say, were sometimes they bring their kids and sometimes u bring urs there. 50/50 type of deal. Its really not fair that u have to give up something u love to please ur kids like that. Thats gonna make u very resentful towards them. U really dont want that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 How old are your kids again MP? I can't remember... Don't sell your place! Rent it out. My kids are 14 and almost 13 (in May). We don't own our place, we rent it. We did own 5 years ago but it was in another town. I moved back to my hometown when H and I were going through our D. I refused to move back to that town. I had a job I loved, I was back around my family, and I was renting a small house in the country (a different one, only a 2 bedroom). When H decided he wanted to work on the M he moved up here and we sold the house. The house we were renting became too small after H moved in so we found another house in the country for rent. We have tried finding another one in the country to rent or buy but no luck. They rent out fast or they are too much $$$$. Even though we are throwing our $ down the toilet by renting we figured for this house (if we bought it) our payments would be a lot higher. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 hmmmm honestly? i wouldnt move into town so that my kids can go have playdates...aka I wouldnt changing my whole lifestyle that i love, in order to please my kids in something that is not entirely necessary. I think its more reasonable (and even healthy for you!) to talk to the parents of the kids...why do YOU have to always give in?? I would talk to them, tell them that you love their kids and your kids to spend time together, but that you'd like for them to help you out with their own kids transportations, maybe even talk about some sort of schedule, per say, were sometimes they bring their kids and sometimes u bring urs there. 50/50 type of deal. Its really not fair that u have to give up something u love to please ur kids like that. Thats gonna make u very resentful towards them. U really dont want that. Thanks for the advice! You are right. It's kind of silly to move to town just so my kids can have play dates. They spend a lot of time w/ their friends outside of school compared to what I ever did as a child and I survived. A lot of times they go to their friends after school for an hour or two. Granite it's not a lot of time but better than nothing. My son's friend's dad brought him home last night so that was nice but I don't think he was too happy about it. H said if they want to invite our kids over then they need to help out too. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Even though we are throwing our $ down the toilet by renting we figured for this house (if we bought it) our payments would be a lot higher. Yeah, but you'd own it! Great investment in the long term... Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 have you've ever ask about meeting the parents 1/2 way? Or discussed transportation with them? They should help out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Yeah, but you'd own it! Great investment in the long term... LOL, I know, I know. We aren't settling on renting this place forever, we do want to buy again soon. Just waiting for something to come along in our price range, in the country. Everything in the country on the market now is over $200,000. The half way mark is a good idea, if parents would be willing to do it. Seems that when it's discussed they can't swing it. Plus, I honestly feel guilty for asking to meet half way. Maybe I just need to do it and not worry about what they say. I guess if they can't meet me half way then it wont work out if it's not convienant for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jade 02 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Ahhhh HELL NOOOOOO I agree with you MP,I wouldn't let my child have his/her way at anytime. No kid is going to run my life. LOL Frigg that ON THE SPOT CRAP!! Love your atavar(sp?) I love my mopars too,and thats my dream car right there ya have LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Zolie Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Mopar, I read this thread a couple of days ago when you first posted it, and I wanted to reply then, but I was sick with the flu, so couldn't muster the strength. I completely understand your post! I used to have the same problem when I was still married and raising our kids. We lived in a small town of 900 just 10 miles outside of a bigger town of 80,000. It used to drive me nuts to have to "go to town" to take the kids to some social engagement. I always had to take AND pick up my kids. And I always had to pick up the other kids AND take them home, too. The other parents had no interest in driving "all the way out there". I learned to accept it, although I never liked it. I feel your pain... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Ahhhh HELL NOOOOOO I agree with you MP,I wouldn't let my child have his/her way at anytime. No kid is going to run my life. LOL Frigg that ON THE SPOT CRAP!! Love your atavar(sp?) I love my mopars too,and thats my dream car right there ya have LOL. COOL! Nice to "meet" another Mopar fan! Unfortunately I don't have a classic Mopar muscle car but a Cuda is my dream car. The one in my avi would be AWESOME! I have had Chrysler/Dodge products for several years and even though the damn Chrysler's have cost me some $ for repairs I just can't seem to tear myself away from their products b/c I love them. Next on my list is a Dodge Charger or a Dodge Challenger. My brothers own and race classis Mopar muscle cars. I think my little brothers car is under my profile. I had to LMAO at your comment: Ahhhh HELL NOOOOOO I agree with you MP,I wouldn't let my child have his/her way at anytime. No kid is going to run my life. LOL Frigg that ON THE SPOT CRAP!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mopar crazy Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Mopar, I read this thread a couple of days ago when you first posted it, and I wanted to reply then, but I was sick with the flu, so couldn't muster the strength. I completely understand your post! I used to have the same problem when I was still married and raising our kids. We lived in a small town of 900 just 10 miles outside of a bigger town of 80,000. It used to drive me nuts to have to "go to town" to take the kids to some social engagement. I always had to take AND pick up my kids. And I always had to pick up the other kids AND take them home, too. The other parents had no interest in driving "all the way out there". I learned to accept it, although I never liked it. I feel your pain... Hope you are feeling better. It's going around really bad here. I can't wait for spring! Don't it just tick ya off parents aren't willing to meet half way? I don't mind doing it once in awhile but when my kids friends expect me to drop everything at the last minute to take them to their house it pisses me off. Like I don't have a life? I am at that point where I have accepted it, but don't like it myself. If it's a last minute thing I wont do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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