whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I decided to make another thread about this. My mom (I assume) forgot my birthday...If she did remember, she certainly never called on Friday to say happy birthday to me. Nor did she call yesterday. WTF? So...This is going to be fun. We're going to my Mom's for a bday brunch. I'm at a loss here, not sure how to handle this or what to say if it comes up in conversation. I would rather it not come up and then once everybody leaves my mom and I can talk...But, knowing her, this is going to play out like this: She will say she was busy, meant to call (excuse) ...Then when she realized (actually remembered she never called her own daughter on her bday) it was too late to call (bullcrap as she knew we had company Friday night and would be up late) then ofcourse, Saturday rolled around, no call, so I'm betting that she was scared to call me... I'm hurt. And ofcourse disappointed too. I'm a blurter at heart, I've learned NOT to say my thoughts and pick my battles...Well, this is one that a "I'm sorry" just won't cut. I don't want to fight about this but I know somehow she will turn it around so it's MY fault that she didn't call ME on my bday. I know if I forgot to call on her birthday she would freakout on me. Anyway, I guess I needed to get this out. I am going to try my best NOT to say anything about it unless she brings it up. And if she does I will tell her know that I would prefer to talk quietly about it after the rest of the gang goes home. Last thing I need is fireworks around my nieces and nephews. No way. They don't need to see that stuff. Ha, my husband thinks she will be genuinally sorry and really mean it. He thinks she'll come up and hug me, say I'm really sorry. IF she does do that, all will be OK. No point in making her feel worse after saying sorry. Yet, I know her "Sorry's" and how they sound, she HATES to admit she was wrong and rarely ever appologizes. Will do an update later! Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Chill, sweetie. Your mum's probably been working her tail off getting ready for this brunch thing. Don't expect an apology either. Just go with the flow, and be thankful that you don't have to live with her anymore! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Sorry WWIU that sucks when Mom forgets your bday !! How can they forget birthing a child ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Ah loony moms. There's nothing you can really do WWIU, just don't let it get to you. You have to let it go for your own well being. It sucks when they hurt us but we can not change them nor can we expect much from them, the only thing we have control over is how we deal with them. We can lower our expectations, avoid them, and learn to let go of the things they do or say (or don't do or say). You had a lot of people who care about you wish you a happy birthday so just try to focus on that when you find yourself thinking of how you were hurt by her. Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 That sucks. My dad has forgotten mine on occasion. But it still hurts--just a call or even a message or email is nice. Hey, could your mom be....no couldn't be...could it???? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 WWIU, is the birthday brunch at her house today for you to someone else? Did she completely forget about your birthday or only forget to call Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 If my mom forgot my bday.. i would be very mad!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 If my mom forgot my bday.. i would be very mad!!! I would not only be mad, but I'd be extremely hurt. I'm just confused how the birthday brunch came about if she forgot her birthday and they haven't spoken about it yet. If it's for someone else, there's no chance in hell I'd go. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 i am sorry, wwiu. i would be pretty pissed too. i know it's not the really that big of a deal, but really... i mean, it's one day to have to remember. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I would not only be mad, but I'd be extremely hurt. I'm just confused how the birthday brunch came about if she forgot her birthday and they haven't spoken about it yet. If it's for someone else, there's no chance in hell I'd go. Yeah Lonestar i would be hurt as well.. If it happen i would be hurt and both mad !! Yeah i wouldn't either.. Is she having it for you WWIU or someone else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Okay, maybe I'm alone here, but although I would be disappointed, I wouldn't be mad. Come on, she forgot, it's not like you are 12 and she forgot, you don't live there, and it's just a date on a calendar. And if the brunch is for you, she only forgot to call. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Okay, maybe I'm alone here, but although I would be disappointed, I wouldn't be mad. Come on, she forgot, it's not like you are 12 and she forgot, you don't live there, and it's just a date on a calendar. And if the brunch is for you, she only forgot to call. I am sorry, I disagree. Immediate family is much more than a date on a calendar. What about your hubby (assuming you are married) would the "just a date on the calendar" fly with you if he forgot your birthday or anniversary? Christmas is a date on the calendar, so are a zillion others. Dates are put on calendars to remember! And when one f***s up, they call and apologize and make it right! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I am sorry, I disagree. Immediate family is much more than a date on a calendar. What about your hubby (assuming you are married) would the "just a date on the calendar" fly with you if he forgot your birthday or anniversary? Christmas is a date on the calendar, so are a zillion others. Dates are put on calendars to remember! And when one f***s up, they call and apologize and make it right! Exactly KJL!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I remember one year on my birthday I called my mum when it got to about 4pm with no call and she spoke to me as normal, normal chit chat and after a while I got upset and said "Mum are you not going to say happy birthday?" She said "It isnt your birthday until tomorrow!" She would not belive it was my borthday until she got her newspaper and said "Oh my god I am so sorry" I put the phone down and cried my eyes out - I was so upset. My mum is wonderful and the best mum I could have and we get on so well - I knew it was a genuine mistake but it hurt like hell! I feel for you WWIU! Speak to her about this and do not hide your feelings honey! Happy Birthday darling! x Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 My parents forgot to come to my college graduation. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 If she's not working, it's possible she didn't even know what day it was. I know a lot of people who are retired or not working and they often lose track of the day of the week, not to mention the date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 If she's not working, it's possible she didn't even know what day it was. I know a lot of people who are retired or not working and they often lose track of the day of the week, not to mention the date. You're just filled with sympathy today, Outcast. Is there anyone on this site you care about, or are you only here to give us a scientific reason for everything? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 I'm back from my bday brunch. (This was planned over a week ago) Decided to take a different approach to it. SO, we made a pitstop, and I bought some flowers to give to her - A thank you for doing brunch/host gift. She and I were alone in the kitchen as she was getting a vase for the flowers, she said to me, "Wow, I wasn't expecting this, thanks. Infact I should be giving you flowers! Happy Birthday." So I just casually said, "Thanks. Actually mom, my bday was Friday." She said she knew... BINGO!!! So I said,"You didn't call me..." She said "I didn't??" I said,"Nope. And you didn't call Saturday either. I thought you might have...That hurt my feelings." Long pause, so then she quietly said,"I'm very sorry that I didn't call you...And I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I know I"d be very upset if you didn't call me on my birthday. " I replied back,"Thank you for saying that, and yes, I know you would be." She gave me a hug (she genuinally looked abit upset) so I just hugged her back, game over. It's done and in the past now. I don't hold grudges, no point. Thanks ya'll for replying on my thread! Lonestar, you get a nice french kiss from me!! hehe Oh, just FYI, she DID know it was my bday...She even said that she told a friend of hers while they were out. She just completely forgot. Trust me, it won't ever happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Glad that things went smoothly for you WWIU .. Good thing you let her know that she hurt your feelings as well!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Good. You confronted her and she apologized. So many people wouldn't even speak up when someone does something rude. Hopefully, she'll think more about hurting her daughter in the future. (((((((HUGS)))))))) Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 My parents forgot to come to my college graduation. I forgot my wedding day and went in to work instead...My coworkers reminded me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whichwayisup Posted January 29, 2006 Author Share Posted January 29, 2006 Thanks LilM and LS. Yeah, I tell you my first reaction was to get really pissed off and get into it with her...But then I stopped and thought about it. No point really...I mean as much as she deserved to be blasted - I know myself and couldn't follow through. I'm such a suck/wussy woman!!!!!! LOL! No, I took the high road and because of that, I feel better. I also knew by saying she hurt my feelings would work. How could it not? Unless she was uncaring....Which she isn't. Hugs to y'all too! Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I'm back from my bday brunch. (This was planned over a week ago) Decided to take a different approach to it. SO, we made a pitstop, and I bought some flowers to give to her - A thank you for doing brunch/host gift. She and I were alone in the kitchen as she was getting a vase for the flowers, she said to me, "Wow, I wasn't expecting this, thanks. Infact I should be giving you flowers! Happy Birthday." So I just casually said, "Thanks. Actually mom, my bday was Friday." She said she knew... BINGO!!! So I said,"You didn't call me..." She said "I didn't??" I said,"Nope. And you didn't call Saturday either. I thought you might have...That hurt my feelings." Long pause, so then she quietly said,"I'm very sorry that I didn't call you...And I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I know I"d be very upset if you didn't call me on my birthday. " I replied back,"Thank you for saying that, and yes, I know you would be." She gave me a hug (she genuinally looked abit upset) so I just hugged her back, game over. It's done and in the past now. I don't hold grudges, no point. Thanks ya'll for replying on my thread! Lonestar, you get a nice french kiss from me!! hehe Oh, just FYI, she DID know it was my bday...She even said that she told a friend of hers while they were out. She just completely forgot. Trust me, it won't ever happen again. glad it worked out WWIU , you gave me warm fuzzies. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Thanks LilM and LS. Yeah, I tell you my first reaction was to get really pissed off and get into it with her...But then I stopped and thought about it. No point really...I mean as much as she deserved to be blasted - I know myself and couldn't follow through. I'm such a suck/wussy woman!!!!!! LOL! No, I took the high road and because of that, I feel better. I also knew by saying she hurt my feelings would work. How could it not? Unless she was uncaring....Which she isn't. Hugs to y'all too! Glad things went great and was good you told her!! HUGS BACK YA WWIU.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I forgot my wedding day and went in to work instead...My coworkers reminded me. :lmao: :lmao: Is this the idiot you talked about in the trade center thread? Link to post Share on other sites
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