Jump to content

Did I objectify my wife?


Woggle

Recommended Posts

My sister and brother in law were over and I got to talking about how lucky I am to be married to such a great woman. I said I hit the trifecta because I have she is hot, intelligent and an all around good person. He said it was disgusting that I talk about my wife like a piece of meat and that in this day and age men need to stop treating women like that and men like me are the reason for metoo. Both my wife and her sister who is his wife looked at him with a look that said shut the hell up. My wife stepped in and said she likes that I see her that way and her sister said at least she is married to man that acts like he is attracted to her. Both the women had my back. Who was right or wrong in this situation?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn and I thought I was too PC.

 

This guy sounds WAY over the top. You can't say your wife is hot? WTF? I love it when my husband says I am hot.

 

It would be one thing if you said, "My wife is hot, has a great rack, and doesn't talk back" - but I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you said.

 

I fail to see how this has anything to do with #metoo.

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you and the women were right. There is nothing wrong with being physically attracted to your wife or acknowledging that she is physically attractive. In all of my long term relationships I considered my SO hot and they thought I was hot too!

 

Your brother in law is going overboard. Women don't want to be treated like a piece of meat in the work place. They don't want to be judged for their looks or sexually harassed when all they want to do is their job. They don't want unwanted sexual attention. They don't want men who hold a position of power over their careers demeaning them or expecting sexual favors. That's a very far cry from a husband appreciating his wife's sexiness. It's up to the people in the marriage to decide what is acceptable and what isn't. If you find your wife hot and your wife appreciates that then good for both of you! Your brother in law sounds a bit whacko

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I don't even know why he did it. His wife doesn't believe in this crap and neither does my wife so who is he trying to impress? Who does he want to give him a pat on the head for being a good ally? I used to feel bad for him because it is obvious his wife is no longer attracted to him but if this is how he is who can blame her?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

He works in real estate but he reads a lot of social justice blogs and is obsessed with checking his privilege.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic
He works in real estate but he reads a lot of social justice blogs and is obsessed with checking his privilege.

 

OK. Well, what you said was fine. In my non-feminist female opinion.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I am very much a feminist and still see nothing wrong with it. I'd be very happy if my hubby described me this way.

 

Objectification is when you don't view the other person as a human with thoughts and feelings. This isn't what you did.

 

Any idea if his wife had something to say to him when they got home? I'd love to have been a fly on that wall.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

I’d be amazed if his wife ever used the term “masculine” to describe him. And would be more amazed if she didn’t ultimately file for divorce.

 

You didn’t do anything at all wrong. People like this seem to think if you find a woman attractive you are sexist. That’s simply not the case.

 

Though if someone said that to me in my house I would show them the front door...aggressively.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic
Y People like this seem to think if you find a woman attractive you are sexist. That’s simply not the case.

 

 

This does seem to be true these days.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yea I was going to say he is probably a bed wetting liberal who ran to vote for Hillary apologizing for his penis and Caucasianness along the way.

I’d be amazed if his wife ever used the term “masculine” to describe him. And would be more amazed if she didn’t ultimately file for divorce.

 

You didn’t do anything at all wrong. People like this seem to think if you find a woman attractive you are sexist. That’s simply not the case.

 

Though if someone said that to me in my house I would show them the front door...aggressively.

 

:lmao: Can't breathe!! :lmao:

 

Woggle, you did nothing wrong. It's sad that men are being punished just for existing these days. Now a man can't even compliment his wife and be pleased that he married her?:rolleyes:

 

He's projecting his unhappy marriage on your happy union.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, give his wife about 2 more years...

 

And she will divorce him and his sissy ways. Or she will start banging some other guy.

 

My GF knows and likes that I objectify her. She thinks of me as her boy toy and I am OK with that as well.

 

People like your BIL are just so funny...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

The funny thing is that I had two women agreeing with me. He is trying to be the savior they never asked for.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic
The funny thing is that I had two women agreeing with me. He is trying to be the savior they never asked for.

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd even go so far to wonder if this guy is jealous of you for your wife, and is (pathetically) trying to White Knight his way into your wife's heart. In his mind he may have been 'standing up for' your wife against her Neanderthal husband who actually deigned to call her 'hot'. :rolleyes:

 

What a douche!

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
The funny thing is that I had two women agreeing with me. He is trying to be the savior they never asked for.

 

Ironically, your BIL doesn't even realize how patronizing it is to treat women like we can't possibly know when to be offended!

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi woggle, guess you rubbed salt on his open wounds without realizing it. The fact is that not only did you say your wife was hot but also that she was intelligent and overall a good person. Your BIL just latched on to one aspect of your comment and twisted it out of context. I think any wife would be proud to hear her husband describe her as you did because she ticks all the right boxes especially for the one person who matters most to her! Warm wishes.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue

i'm glad you see your wife as hot.... im glad you hit the trifecta ....you know in your heart what you meant......god made women to be loved......and appreciated and the female body to attract a mans hopes and desire...every wife wants their husband to find them hot....and only them or you might have trouble there woggle if it were other women...you found hot...and not your wife........

 

 

the only opinion really that matters or should matter to you is your wife's opinion...that is the one you value and hold close........this guy has issues that arent of concern to you, your wife or your marriage.....

 

objectifying a woman... treating her like meat.....would be if you said when i see my wifes ass i remember that's why i married her.....

 

keep on being you.....and love your wife..as you do..and keep doin it even when you have push her wheel chair and kiss the wrinkles in thirty to fifty years....you keep telling her she is as hot as the day you met her......and mean it.........deb

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cullenbohannon
when i see my wifes ass i remember that's why i married her.....

 

Is it objectifying if that's PART of the reason? I hope not.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
My sister and brother in law were over and I got to talking about how lucky I am to be married to such a great woman. I said I hit the trifecta because I have she is hot, intelligent and an all around good person. He said it was disgusting that I talk about my wife like a piece of meat and that in this day and age men need to stop treating women like that and men like me are the reason for metoo. Both my wife and her sister who is his wife looked at him with a look that said shut the hell up. My wife stepped in and said she likes that I see her that way and her sister said at least she is married to man that acts like he is attracted to her. Both the women had my back. Who was right or wrong in this situation?

 

You did nothing wrong. You married the whole package and are proud of your wife!

 

Your brother in law needs to take the pickle out of his butt and loosen up.

 

What counts is what you and your wife think, not anybody else.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue
Is it objectifying if that's PART of the reason? I hope not.

 

 

for me personally if you voice your wife's ass as being the major reason to others for marrying your wife.... for sure...yes it is objectifying..it degrades her ...

women should mean more to a man.... more than just a sum of their body parts.....

 

you should appreciate the whole women....which i think woggle does because he mentioned trifecta....then when those looks fade his attraction wont....because his attraction is based on more than just her body.....deb

 

ps as i thought.... checked out what objectification meant and what i have highlighted above is true ......heres the definition of objectifying.....and woggle didnt do that.....

 

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity.
Edited by todreaminblue
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I asked my wife if she was offended and she laughed and said of course not. She couldn't imagine living with a guy like that.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...