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Uncle's wife refuses to call me by my right name.


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Old 16th January 2018, 11:42 PM   #1
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Uncle's wife refuses to call me by my right name.

My mom's brother's wife does whatever she wants regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. I have LOTS of stories of that, why I don't like her. But my own personal problem with her that affects me personally is that she won't call me by my right name, just the short form of it, which I HATED since I was about 8 or 9 (I'm 39) so for decades I've asked her to call me my right name, not a short form, and her answer always is "I always called you that and I'm gonna keep calling you that!" No respect for me at all.

What would you guys do in this situation? Cut contact? Just ignore it?
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:52 PM   #2
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Youíre 39 years old, Pam. Donít sweat the small stuff.
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:54 PM   #3
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Youíre 39 years old, Pam. Donít sweat the small stuff.
She's your uncle's wife .. who cares

Your not a child immediately affected by a parent figure so the fact this bothers you is beyond me, I don't have any tight bond with an uncle though.
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:54 PM   #4
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Start calling her "Petina". #justjack
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:58 PM   #5
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Don't acknowledge her...

If she says something like "Hey (short form of your name) how are you doing?" I would just continue to walk past her and ignore her until she called you by the correct version of your name.

Personally, I legal changed my name (many years ago) and I refuse to answer to my old name in any way, shape of form. If a family member uses my old name, I ignore them, when they correct themselves and address me by the correct name, then and only then, do I acknowledge them and answer their question.

Will it be a huge loss if you don't communicate with her during these family functions?? She'll learn that you are an adult and want to be called by your adult name.

Just my opinion, based on my own experiences.
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Old 16th January 2018, 11:58 PM   #6
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You've already discovered you can't control what she does, so do the only thing you can do....control how you react to it. There are much bigger things in life to be worried about in my opinion.
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Old 17th January 2018, 12:17 AM   #7
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Don't acknowledge her...

If she says something like "Hey (short form of your name) how are you doing?" I would just continue to walk past her and ignore her until she called you by the correct version of your name.

Personally, I legal changed my name (many years ago) and I refuse to answer to my old name in any way, shape of form. If a family member uses my old name, I ignore them, when they correct themselves and address me by the correct name, then and only then, do I acknowledge them and answer their question.

Will it be a huge loss if you don't communicate with her during these family functions?? She'll learn that you are an adult and want to be called by your adult name.

Just my opinion, based on my own experiences.
Not really a huge loss, I basically stopped going out there so I don't have to see or talk to her.

And then for christmas she wanted to give me a gift! Hell to the NOPE. You disrespect my likes and my wishes for 30 years and you want to give me gifts??

She stuck it with my mom anyway. I tossed it in garbage. And my mom gets mad at ME. Not her who disregards my wishes for 30 years.
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Old 17th January 2018, 12:27 AM   #8
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Not really a huge loss, I basically stopped going out there so I don't have to see or talk to her.

And then for christmas she wanted to give me a gift! Hell to the NOPE. You disrespect my likes and my wishes for 30 years and you want to give me gifts??

She stuck it with my mom anyway. I tossed it in garbage. And my mom gets mad at ME. Not her who disregards my wishes for 30 years.
Our name is the one true thing we own...

You are not asking her for a kidney, just use your correct name.

I might have donated the gift to Goodwill, instead of throwing it in the garbage. But all in all, I'm in agreement that I would not have accepted it or acknowledged her gift.
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:34 AM   #9
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I have one of those names that has a few nicknames. One of them I despise. I had a professor in college who insisted on calling me that. After I corrected him a few times I started calling him by the similar version of his first name.

It's not my name but to illustrate the point assume my name was Susannah; he called me Suzi even though I preferred to be called Anna. The professor's name was Johnathan Q. Public, PhD. So instead of calling him Prof Public I started calling him Johnny. He roared & bellowed & screamed My name is Dr. Public. I smiled & said my name is Anna, Johnny. As soon as a brilliant professor like you can manage to get my name right, I'm positive I'll be able to learn from your example & get your name right. He never called me Suzi again.

Try that but otherwise don't respond at all when she uses the wrong name.
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Old 17th January 2018, 2:51 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Blade96 View Post
My mom's brother's wife does whatever she wants regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. I have LOTS of stories of that, why I don't like her. But my own personal problem with her that affects me personally is that she won't call me by my right name, just the short form of it, which I HATED since I was about 8 or 9 (I'm 39) so for decades I've asked her to call me my right name, not a short form, and her answer always is "I always called you that and I'm gonna keep calling you that!" No respect for me at all.

What would you guys do in this situation? Cut contact? Just ignore it?
Make up a name for her and continue to call her that name. Or just ignore it and stop seeing her. Your uncle is your blood uncle, she's your aunt by marriage, so there's no obligation to her!
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:11 PM   #11
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Is it really that important? I have several versions of my name also. I go by only one, but it really doesnt matter how Im addressed, as long as its not sh&thead or something along those lines.

Ive always said call me anything, just dont call me late for dinner.
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:45 PM   #12
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This would most certainly go in the "don't sweat the small stuff" folder for me.

When it comes to family, I really value harmony and do not rock the boat. But that is just how I roll.

I have a name that at times gets mispronounced (changed to the name of a movie character!) - am I a fan of the mispronunciation? No. Do, I make a big deal about it? Never.
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Old 17th January 2018, 7:48 PM   #13
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I second what Donnivain said. Make up a childish name for her. And only use it when she uses yours wrong. Otherwise, not worth getting worked up over someone you can mostly avoid who is a twit. You could just add "Big" to her real name too. "Hey, Big Marie!"

My favorite nickname I ever gave anybody was this young strange employee. I called him "Flipper" because he lived in a world full of wonder. A couple years past when we worked together he called me at my parents' house where I didn't live and trying to save my soul through Jesus.
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Last edited by preraph; 17th January 2018 at 7:50 PM..
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Old 18th January 2018, 7:42 PM   #14
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You obviously need saving though, Preraph.

Itís a shame he wasnít successful.

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Old 18th January 2018, 8:35 PM   #15
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This has been going on a very long time. As they say, you can't teach an old female dog new tricks. Either live with it, ignore her, avoid her, or find something to call her that she won't like.
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