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Christmas with mother who's disappointed in me


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Old 18th December 2017, 2:20 PM   #1
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Christmas with mother who's disappointed in me

It's soon Christmas. Last year I was abroad, but this year, I'm going to be home with family.

Mother is utterly mad and disappointed in me. I'm not sure why. I have had a lot of issues with my mental health (depression, anorexia), but those days are over. Now I'm working hard, getting better and making future plans, including school. But that's still not good enough for her.

She is all about my little sister. She snaps at me when she's bitter, she ignores me without a real reason, she lies, manipulates and fools me. It all hurts, a lot. I'm crying as I'm typing this.

But Christmas is all about presents for my family, I guess. And I don't know what to get her. I can't buy her something nice and sweet, I don't think. That would simply be fake. I'm not interested in pleasing her or mending things with her anymore, I've already tried that so many times, she just blows me off.

I'm terrified of Christmas now. I'm not sure what to do?

Last edited by donotmicrowave; 18th December 2017 at 2:59 PM..
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Old 18th December 2017, 4:17 PM   #2
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Show up with a gift & a plan.


Spend as little time with her as possible. Be gracious. Do the dishes & help around the house. Limit alcohol.


Arriving late, leaving early & having an escape route is always a good plan. In years past I would purposefully forget something or even report to pouring the milk down the sink so I had to make a last minute run to only market that was open to get more, thus getting me out of the house for an hour or two. Worst case scenario take a long walk around the neighborhood to look at the Christmas lights.
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Old 18th December 2017, 5:22 PM   #3
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I
But Christmas is all about presents for my family, I guess. And I don't know what

I'm terrified of Christmas now. I'm not sure what to do?
Just don't go! It sounds like you would enjoy a better Christmas elsewhere.
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Old 18th December 2017, 6:17 PM   #4
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Simple card for mom? Maybe spend more time with other family types to garner support from. It sounds like you are in a good place with yourself, so keep that in check from time to time. Remember that you are valued, and let others negativity slide right off of you. Be the chipper, happier one in conversations and other social meanderings....

BTW...Merry Christmas. Have a good holiday.
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Old 19th December 2017, 3:25 AM   #5
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Just don't go! It sounds like you would enjoy a better Christmas elsewhere.
I'd be a lot happier if I could just go camping with my crazy puppy or something like that! But I'm going to be involved with mother quite a bit, and the backlash would be incredibly painful.

She would see it in the "she's embarrassing our family by not showing up for Christmas" light.

We technically work right next to each other (family business), it baffles my mind how someone can be so bitter when she gets to gossip around for most of the day while others are stressed and working hard.
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Old 19th December 2017, 3:30 AM   #6
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Simple card for mom? Maybe spend more time with other family types to garner support from. It sounds like you are in a good place with yourself, so keep that in check from time to time. Remember that you are valued, and let others negativity slide right off of you. Be the chipper, happier one in conversations and other social meanderings....

BTW...Merry Christmas. Have a good holiday.
Thank you for this, I will definitely try my best to make it a good day for myself.

Merry Christmas to you, too! I hope everyone will enjoy it and be happy around their loved ones!
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