LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Familial > Family

Is it weird to give my 23 year old a small bday party?


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

Like Tree28Likes
  • 1 Post By staggerlee71
  • 2 Post By basil67
  • 4 Post By SoleMate
  • 1 Post By TunaCat
  • 2 Post By 1966Seahorse
  • 3 Post By HiCrunchy
  • 5 Post By CautiouslyOptimistic
  • 1 Post By Elswyth
  • 2 Post By newmoon
  • 1 Post By Frostedflake
  • 2 Post By MajesticUnicorn
  • 3 Post By amaysngrace
  • 1 Post By Miss Clavel
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 29th October 2017, 1:19 AM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 11
Is it weird to give my 23 year old a small bday party?

Hi, my daughter moved back home and is turning 23. She has yet to make friends here. I am planning to cook for immediate family and some close family friends for her birthday and have a cake. Her "boyfriend" made fun of this, and now she is insecure. I'm upset he would say this and also I see no harm in celebrating birthdays at any age but do people actually think this is tacky or weird for this age?
lbh33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:21 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 230
He is a moron! He should be on board too!

Ofcourse it ok, in fact, its quite a nice gesture.
lbh33 likes this.
staggerlee71 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:26 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 7,345
It would be a lovely gesture. It would also be completely normal in my family.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:36 AM   #4
Established Member
 
SoleMate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,694
Meal with family and friends, plus homemade birthday cake, is what I would consider the NORMAL STANDARD U.S. way to celebrate an adult birthday.

What's tacky and weird is to jeer at the very nice celebration your GF's mother (father?) was planning for her.
__________________
Heavily medicated for your safety.
SoleMate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:41 AM   #5
Established Member
 
TunaCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 831
Totally normal. At 31, I still do this with my family (I have no friends in town) and when I was with my ex, he and his family always joined in too.

Your daughter's boyfriend is a jerk.
lbh33 likes this.
TunaCat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 3:13 AM   #6
Established Member
 
1966Seahorse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: In a Land of Rainbows & Unicorns
Posts: 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by lbh33 View Post
Hi, my daughter moved back home and is turning 23. She has yet to make friends here. I am planning to cook for immediate family and some close family friends for her birthday and have a cake. Her "boyfriend" made fun of this, and now she is insecure. I'm upset he would say this and also I see no harm in celebrating birthdays at any age but do people actually think this is tacky or weird for this age?
Hi ibh33,

I really can't see why your daughter's boyfriend would make fun of your intentions.

Planning a meal for family/friends is a great idea (and arranging a birthday cake - who doesn't like a special cake??!!) - especially as your daughter doesn't yet know anyone much outside the family circle.

I too don't see any harm in celebrating birthdays at any age - I say you go for it!

And you are keeping it fairly low key with just people that your daughter knows!

I have never had a birthday party that has been arranged for me ever - in my younger life or adult life - I would so love that though

All the very best!
newmoon and lbh33 like this.
1966Seahorse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 11:27 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 193
I am 22 about to be 23, so in the same shoes as your daughter
If you and your daughter are close then I am sure she would appreciate it.
A small dinner with family and friends and cake sounds super sweet.
I am sure she will love it.
Don't listen to her BF, he sounds like a loser.
HiCrunchy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 12:18 PM   #8
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,803
My goodness! Does he put her down in other ways? He sounds like a jerk!
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 12:38 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 24,678
A slightly different tack here - did you actually hear him say this, or did she tell you that he said this?

It's hard to know if this is the case, but it's possible that this ("tacky/weird") is her perception of the celebration, and she doesn't feel comfortable telling you this straight up so she is using her "boyfriend" as a buffer. Is she generally comfortable with expressing her opinion around you, especially opinions that differ from yours? Did you ask her how she would feel about this celebration before making the plans?

I wouldn't personally mind such a celebration at all (and I agree that the boyfriend is being unreasonable if he actually said that), but I do know that when I was in my teens, this is the method that I would use to try and deflect something (by using someone else) because my parents weren't really able to accept criticism from me.
lbh33 likes this.
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:00 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,266
if the bf really said that then maybe you should be more concerned w/who your daughter is dating than a party. if he influences her thinking to the extent that she'd dislike a family celebration... that's the weird part
darkmoon and lbh33 like this.
newmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 8:31 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 172
He sounds a bit jealous. What do you know about his family?
They're probably not as generous or family-oriented. If your daughter is serious about him- challenge his screwy ideals about family and show him how it's done!
If this goes beyond a party and he tears her down a lot remind her that a relationship shouldn't be that way.
lbh33 likes this.
Frostedflake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 9:10 PM   #12
Established Member
 
MajesticUnicorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 175
Itís not weird at all.

Iím your daughterís age. While I do celebrate with my friends one night for my birthday, I always have a get together with my family as well. With dinner and cake, and honestly itís one of my favorite partís about my birthday.
MajesticUnicorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 9:19 PM   #13
Established Member
 
amaysngrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 23,205
That's exactly what I do, either cook or we all go out to have dinner to celebrate.

Your daughter's BF sounds like an ass and it's very sad that she has no friends nearby because that's only going to make her even more reliant on him.

Please tell her it's much better to be alone than be in bad company.
__________________
just dance
amaysngrace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th October 2017, 4:20 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Miss Clavel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 814
dear boyfriend, we are planning a dinner at our house to celebrate your girlfriends birthday and we would like you to attend. however, this means, if your relationship with my daughter continues on it's present course, we might start to consider you one of the family and that means, we would do something tacky or weird for your birthday as well, be warned.


rsvp to the tacky weirdos by saturday next
lbh33 likes this.
__________________
take aim. reload.
Miss Clavel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Her 21st Bday party is tomo and i cant cope! dfd00123 Coping 3 25th April 2013 12:23 AM
Very short rship, bday, give gift or not dng Breaks and Breaking Up 5 30th June 2011 12:23 PM
I called my ex during my bday party because I was drunk!! Marina09 Coping 19 9th July 2009 2:52 PM
Should I go to crush's bday party? spookie Dating 2 12th September 2007 3:01 PM
Stood up at Bday Party moman Dating 3 22nd March 2007 3:07 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:38 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.