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Stood up against girlfriends Dad


DoubleAJ

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background info Me & my girlfriend met in LA last year, im from New york & she is from mexico. After 6 months dating long distance we found out she was pregnant. She made a decision to keep the baby & i supported her, i said that i wanted her to move to NY with me but she said she wanted to go back to mexico to raise the baby and have her family close. I understood & supported the decision. Her family said that we could work part time at her parents market till i learned Spanish & found a job here & we could stay with her mum.

 

Soon after arriving i found things to change quickly.

PT& me going school quickly switched to 7 days a week 12-15hrs a day, no more school, no money ( her parents seemed to think that covers us living there)

 

Having now been here 4 months, i noticed this isn't a life i want. Partly because her Dad & mum & brother have shouted at me on occasions, one was because i served a customer in the market who was next in line but they wanted me to serve their family friend before them ( i had no idea, i don't speak spanish) There was no apology from them. Her dad frequently shouts at my girlfriend & my girlfriend tells me to stay calm & that one day we will be by ourselves.

 

But yesterday i had no choice, we were cleaning & my girlfriend told her mum that we couldnt work the following Friday because we had a drs appointment (eco, blood tests, payment of pregnancy plan) her dad overheard & started shouting saying that she just doesn't want to work (bearing in mind we work 7 days a week 12-15 hrs a day & she 6 months pregnant) i stepped in and told him to stop talking to her like that, he shoved past me & carried on & went to grab my girlfriend , as soon as he grabbedher arm & pulled i tackled him off her & told my girlfriend to go. He began to shout at me but i pushed him off me & walked away too. Now there is a rift, we went back to work the next day and they ignored both of us, we did same thing for 3 more days and they still ignored us.

 

Now they have told my girlfriends brother & he is now ignoring us.

 

i thought i was doing the right thing by standing up for her & now i feel like i've made things worse. I suggested we move to new york and my girlfriend is contemplating it but i can tell she loves her family and doesn't want to leave despite what has happened.

 

Any advice would be appreciated

 

thankyou

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amaysngrace

The silent treatment is a form of abuse. Working you and especially her all those hours every day for no pay is too imo

 

I think it's good you stood up to him. He seems to have very bad manners and treats his family poorly. He'd be likely to treat his grandchild the same way in time.

 

You don't need to be yelled at either. That's completely rude.

 

I hope she agrees to move to NY. It sounds like she'd have a better life than being their servant who catches crap just because she needs prenatal care.

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Where are your parents in all of this?

 

Is there any possibility that you can get a job else where & get a paycheck?

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My parents are being supportive, if we go back to NY i can get a job and an apartment quickly. They said we could stay with them, but i don't think it would be necessary.

 

initially it was the plan for me to get another job, but i have no experience in spanish ( studied french at school) my spanish is very weak. hence the spanish school, but one of the employees left the market because she had no contract and was suing the family because of that. So they asked my girlfriend if i would help on a part time basis. Which soon changed.

 

Her dad is a bully, my girlfriend told me yesterday that he has always been like this. Her mum sides with him because i think she fears him.

 

The silent treatment is ridiculous. I've told her we will not work until there is an apology. I'm going to try and get a job using my english today, i said if she won't leave i'll find us a different way.

 

Because you said it right , we can't be slaves

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If your parents are being supportive would then either send you the Rosetta Stone language program to improve your Spanish faster if you think you want to say or buy you & your baby mamma plane tickets back to NYC? Once there, though, how will you pay for the medical care & delivery?

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