My daughter is 11years old and in 6th grade. The other day while she was sitting down I noticed a thong sticking out of her pants. I did not confront her about them because I didn't know what to say. We live behind a shopping center with a department store so I assume she bought them on her own there. Is this normal for an eleven year old girl? I don't even know how long she has been wearing them for. Should I ask her about them? Should tell her she cannot wear them? Or should I ignore it, which I am not comfortable doing.
What should I do?
In one of the teen/kid shoe stores in my local mall, there is a plastic bucket with thongs in it on the counter for purchase. I have seen thongs in the young girls sections of some clothing stores. Thongs are just underwear these days; almost everyone wears them.
If this bothers you it would make sense to talk to your daughter about it; you are her parent.
A lot of young girls wear sexy underwear, and a lot of clothing manufacturers are making sexy underwear for younger girls. Because this is so common now, your daughter may just be wearing what she likes to wear, and hopefully it is not any type of a warning sign. It would still be a very good idea to talk to her about this, though.
Talk to her! You should be best friends. Don't judge her. She wants to be an adult and adults wear sexy panties. She probably doesn't want her underwear to be visible under her jeans or skirt. Probably most girls at school wear them. It's no big deal. Don't lose her trust on such a stupid thing. She might need you if some big problem occurs and if you disappoint her now, she will be left all alone throughout her teenage period. The fact that she didn't "report" the thong to you is alarming. Just let her know kindly and with a smile that she can tell you everything and you will always understand her. Don't punish her for not telling you anything. Troubles begin when secrets are kept and secrets start when parents are too strict.
sorry, but the idea of thong underwear just grosses me out. Why pay money for a piece of material you'd normally dig out of your bottom? I'm sure they're comfy to those women who are accustomed to wearing them, but still .... If this were me, I'd probably have the same response when asking my child about her undergarments, but in all honesty, she's old enough to dress herself even if you don't agree with what she wears. Don't make a big deal about it, and let her come to her own conclusion about whether she likes how comfortable they are/are not.
DO let her know that regardless of what kind of undergarments she wears, it's much, much classier to cover up and know you've got them on than it is to flaunt them for the whole world to see. That she can wear sexy clothes without having to look tacky. Hopefully this will help make decisions that are respectful of others' sensibilities as well as her own self-image.
Why pay money for a piece of material you'd normally dig out of your bottom?
ROTFL!!! My thoughts precisely. Sure, buy a heap o' them and don them prior to nocturnal rompings, or when you're staying in to enjoy 'home entertainment' but to wear them as regular underwear is crazy. Then again, maybe some people have really tough groins and don't find them painful LOL
I agree with RP. Don't come off as attacking or judgemental for wearing a thong. Kids are growing up fast these days, perhaps that is the new trend (although 11 is young) and she is trying to fit in. If you could, bring it up in a non-threatening way. Say, hon, I found these in the wash, are they yours? If you don't act like you are super shocked and horrified by them, she will be more comfortable expanding on how and why she has them. It doesn't mean she is out having sex, or doing other things - probably just trying to fit in with the other girls fashion-wise. But, do explain to her that she is young, and while you might not mind her wearing them in the future, she has alternatives, such as those cute little shorts-like underwear. The name slips my mind.
Odd. I'm fairly certain that I had already responded to this thread. Apparently I was wrong.
Clothing lines are marketing thongs to a younger audience these days. I know that the shoe store in my mall, the children/teen shoe store, has a bucket at the counter full of thongs for purchase. Walking through department stores, I notice that there are thongs in the young girls sections, as well.
Apparently, this is what kids are wearing now. Your daughter might not consider the thongs anything more than regular underwear, or a trend.
If this is bothering you, you have every right to bring it up with your daughter; you are her mother.
This obviously has more to do with fashion than with sex. I would find it more terrible if she wore sexy clothes and make-up or dyed her hair. Cuz that's exactly how she could end up in some pervert's hands as young as she is.
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