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How can I deal with my controlling parents?


beachlover_96

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beachlover_96

I am 20, still living with my parents and they control my life. They won't allow me to online date but I do it anyway. They check my phone every day to see if I have dating apps on my phone like Tinder and if they see it on my phone, they take away the app store on my phone when they see Tinder on my phone so I can't re download Tinder on my phone. They pay for the phone but I'm saving my money to buy a new phone. They won't allow me to go out with guys that I meet off of Tinder but I'm on Tinder to find a relationship and my parents need to understand that. Is it wrong of them to not allow me to use Tinder? I really want to use it but my parents don't allow it. What should I do about this? Are my parents wrong for doing this when I'm an adult?

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I think your parents are very careful about you, maybe they have some fears about the bad consequence of your behavior so they try to deter you from that because their fears.:)

 

dear, you must be dispel that fears by reassure them and establish the confidence in them. :)

Edited by ibra
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I am 20, still living with my parents and they control my life. They won't allow me to online date but I do it anyway. They check my phone every day to see if I have dating apps on my phone like Tinder and if they see it on my phone, they take away the app store on my phone when they see Tinder on my phone so I can't re download Tinder on my phone. They pay for the phone but I'm saving my money to buy a new phone. They won't allow me to go out with guys that I meet off of Tinder but I'm on Tinder to find a relationship and my parents need to understand that. Is it wrong of them to not allow me to use Tinder? I really want to use it but my parents don't allow it. What should I do about this? Are my parents wrong for doing this when I'm an adult?
The unfortunate truth is that you're an adult just like my 21 year old college kid is an adult. He's an adult with an asterisk. If you read the fine print, it says that adult means "in age only". It further goes on to explain how this adult is not self-sufficient and is unable and apparently unwilling to provide for himself sufficiently such that he may live without parental restrictions AND in the manner to which he's become accustomed.

 

That sounds a whole lot like your story. If you don't want to be controlled, you have to remove the thing that allows them to control you - their support. I'll bet if you had your own place and a million bucks, you wouldn't worry about them checking your phone. The good news is that you don't need a million bucks. The bad news is that if you're saving for a phone, you probably won't be able to afford one if you do move out.

 

Plan B would be to see if you are adult enough to initiate and maintain negotiations until you get at least some of what you want. Are you persuasive?

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Move out and pay your own way as soon as you can.

 

You can't be be dependent and independent at the same time.

 

 

Take care.

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