Momof2jandc Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need to vent and get advice. I recently overheard my mom and sister talking about me. They didn't realize I was there. My sister was criticizing my weight, my hair, how I needed to wear more makeup and tweeze more. Said my clothes were ugly and I needed cuter clothes, "but they don't make cute clothes in plus size." My Mom borrows some of my clothes, and said to my sister oh she has cute clothes, I wear them because she can't fit in most of them anymore. My mother also went on to tell my sister I had no friends and I was jealous of her(my mother!) when she went out with friends. That she feels I "suffocate" her at times. That my self esteem was so low that I would not reach out to my old friends. My mom used to be really overweight, and she told my sister that even at her heaviest she would fix her hair and make up, and try to look nice! ? I was so shocked and hurt! Do I have weight to lose? Yes, and I'm working on it. It has affected my self esteem. But I do usually fix my hair and make up, and make an effort. I go to a salon every so often to get it highlighted and cut. I don't go out with friends, and that's mostly because I have two young kids, and my husband is military and stationed out of town for the time being before he retires and joins us. My sister has been jealous of me for years. In school I was the thinner one, the prettier one according to our friends, the smarter one. And she was always compared to me. So I think hers may be coming from that. But not sure why my mom is badmouthing me. Has anyone experienced this? Should I confront them on their mean girl gossip?Distance myself from them? I love them, but they should not be gossiping like high school teenagers. Thanks, Angryandhurt Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethIII Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Distance yourself. They are sad miserable cows. Your husband and kids are your priority, only they matter and they love you. The hell with your sister and mom. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I need to vent and get advice. I recently overheard my mom and sister talking about me. They didn't realize I was there. My sister was criticizing my weight, my hair, how I needed to wear more makeup and tweeze more. Said my clothes were ugly and I needed cuter clothes, "but they don't make cute clothes in plus size." My Mom borrows some of my clothes, and said to my sister oh she has cute clothes, I wear them because she can't fit in most of them anymore. My mother also went on to tell my sister I had no friends and I was jealous of her(my mother!) when she went out with friends. That she feels I "suffocate" her at times. That my self esteem was so low that I would not reach out to my old friends. My mom used to be really overweight, and she told my sister that even at her heaviest she would fix her hair and make up, and try to look nice! ? I was so shocked and hurt! Do I have weight to lose? Yes, and I'm working on it. It has affected my self esteem. But I do usually fix my hair and make up, and make an effort. I go to a salon every so often to get it highlighted and cut. I don't go out with friends, and that's mostly because I have two young kids, and my husband is military and stationed out of town for the time being before he retires and joins us. My sister has been jealous of me for years. In school I was the thinner one, the prettier one according to our friends, the smarter one. And she was always compared to me. So I think hers may be coming from that. But not sure why my mom is badmouthing me. Has anyone experienced this? Should I confront them on their mean girl gossip?Distance myself from them? I love them, but they should not be gossiping like high school teenagers. Thanks, Angryandhurt Tell them how much their words have hurt your feelings. It's one thing for a sibling to say stuff it's a whole other for a parent, let alone YOUR MOM to be saying bad stuff behind your back, especially to your sister. You have every right to be hurt, feel angry and distance yourself from them until they apologize, again especially your mom. she should be ashamed of herself. If she feels you are insecure, she should be helping you feel MORE loved! Not make matters worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhen16 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 I know you really felt hurt by what they said at a time when things sound tough in your life already. I remember times when I was overweight and it came through to me that she really thought I needed to lose weight but she was never outspoken about it. I know that after her death I had much less difficulty with my weight. That little girl in me just didn't want to be told what to do! Do you think things would be better or worse if you told them you heard what they said? Are they meanspirited about everyone? We all long for love and that was a very unloving conversation. Prayers that God will heal your aching heart and send you kind words -- even if it's from strangers. And lots of hugs from your kids! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 wow, those two deserve each other. go and have a professional "tweeze" you. then stop by any large department store and have a "make over". take their advice and buy the products they suggest, somewhere else because we all know how over priced those stores can be. i'd say your best revenge would be to lose weight and then give your mom all your old clothes. hahahaha do it now while your husband's away since you don't have to cook for him. maybe join a gym? make some new friends there. i swear to god, getting fit would be the best revenge. how do two people, including your own mother bond over criticizing you? omg. i would not let on one bit. i'd get moving. all that stands in the way of your success is a few pounds of fat. why are you holding on to that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fire575 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Wow. Just wow. I don't really advice to offer because families are all different and they have different dynamics so it might not be easy/realistic to simply tell them it hurt your feelings. So I just want to say sorry you had to go through that. That must have been a very hurtful experience to have witnessed. (hugs) Keep you head up and let your spirit soar. Link to post Share on other sites
FastHands Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Ha ha this has happened to me too. I thought my mom was always on my side when I overheard her complain about me to me sister. I felt betrayed at first and wanted to distance myself, but time passed. I realized she had some points and was wrong in others. I also realized I'm not perfect nor is anyone else. I still love her very much, but I'm a little cautious. In the end life is short and I think we should be patient and appreciate the family bonds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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