LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Familial > Family

Parents wanted my old wedding ring to give to my brother


Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

Like Tree8Likes
  • 1 Post By startinganew777
  • 2 Post By VeveCakes
  • 2 Post By Simple Logic
  • 2 Post By olivetree
  • 1 Post By Miss Clavel
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th January 2017, 12:26 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 238
Parents wanted my old wedding ring to give to my brother

So, I got divorced about 7 years ago. I still have my ring, don't know why but I planned on trying to sell it eventually.


My mom called up the other day asking about it and acting really weird saying she wanted to get it appraised but wouldn't tell me why. Said she would pay me for it. I guess I thought for some reason she wanted it to get the size or something for my current bf, or, I don't know. I don't know what I thought. She was being super secretive about it. So I said maybe. It would be nice to have extra money to put into my savings.


So my dad calls this past weekend and accidently tells me she want to take the diamond out, get a new ring made and GIVE it to my brother so he can propose to his girlfriend! I got super upset. I guess it was the combination of thinking she was being secretive about it because it had something to do with my bf proposing or something and it wasn't, and the fact they just HAND everything over to my brother. He spends money like it is going out of style and owes people money, including my uncle who he owes thousands of dollars, and never saves a dime. And they just want to GIVE it to him. And pay me like $200 for a $2000 ring. And the fact that his soon to be fiancÚ would be wearing the diamond of my failed marriage and very agonizing and hard divorce. It is just weird.


So anyways, I got really upset, told them no and that I would figure out what to do with my ring on my own and that he can figure out what to do about a ring for her on HIS own. Well they are upset with me and say I'm over reacting about the whole thing. It is a big mess now.


Was I wrong? Am I being selfish? I just don't want to look at her ring all the time and think about how that was the diamond from my failed and miserable marriage.
cocorico likes this.
startinganew777 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2017, 12:28 PM   #2
Established Member
 
VeveCakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,202
No you weren't wrong. It was extremely careless and insensitive for them to even consider this. It would be a terribly bad omen for the new bride too. Your bro can buy his own ring.
VeveCakes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th January 2017, 1:15 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 152
Quote:
Originally Posted by startinganew777 View Post
So, I got divorced about 7 years ago. I still have my ring, don't know why but I planned on trying to sell it eventually.


My mom called up the other day asking about it and acting really weird saying she wanted to get it appraised but wouldn't tell me why. Said she would pay me for it. I guess I thought for some reason she wanted it to get the size or something for my current bf, or, I don't know. I don't know what I thought. She was being super secretive about it. So I said maybe. It would be nice to have extra money to put into my savings.


So my dad calls this past weekend and accidently tells me she want to take the diamond out, get a new ring made and GIVE it to my brother so he can propose to his girlfriend! I got super upset. I guess it was the combination of thinking she was being secretive about it because it had something to do with my bf proposing or something and it wasn't, and the fact they just HAND everything over to my brother. He spends money like it is going out of style and owes people money, including my uncle who he owes thousands of dollars, and never saves a dime. And they just want to GIVE it to him. And pay me like $200 for a $2000 ring. And the fact that his soon to be fiancÚ would be wearing the diamond of my failed marriage and very agonizing and hard divorce. It is just weird.


So anyways, I got really upset, told them no and that I would figure out what to do with my ring on my own and that he can figure out what to do about a ring for her on HIS own. Well they are upset with me and say I'm over reacting about the whole thing. It is a big mess now.


Was I wrong? Am I being selfish? I just don't want to look at her ring all the time and think about how that was the diamond from my failed and miserable marriage.
Here is the logic side of it. Your mother thinks the ring will appraise low and they can save $$$$ by the resetting of the stone. The reality is the ring will appraise at retail value and maybe even higher than it originally cost because that is what it would cost to replace it with a new ring should you insure it. No one would ever purchase the ring for any $$$ near the apprasal. Maybe 1/3-1/2 the value. So if you mom wants to buy the ring at near the appraised value, you would be getting one heck of a deal.

As far a you looking at the stone later, I would laugh because the bride Is marrying your loser brother and getting a used stone as proof.
Simple Logic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th January 2017, 5:32 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 186
I can totally sympathize with you OP.

I have siblings who get everything handed to them too.

Have you ever told your parents how their unequal treatment/favouritism makes you feel?

As a side note, I don't understand how your bf could feel comfortable having your parents not only buy his engagement ring but get the diamonds from you.
A real man buys his own damn ring.
olivetree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th January 2017, 6:10 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,682
I can see why you are upset. The worst part of the story was your mother being secretive with you. It's like she was trying to put one over on you, like she thought she was cleverly tricking you out of your ring. That's offensive. Even if I didn't give a damn about the ring that kind of behavior from my mother would be insulting to me.

If your mother and brother were adults then instead of your mother playing some silly secrecy game with you, she would have simply told your brother that you still have your wedding ring and that you might be willing to sell it to him. Then he would have come to you and told you why he wanted your ring and then offered to buy it from you, with his own money preferably. I'm guessing that if it had gone down like that you would have been much more receptive to the idea. That's how adults behave but obviously your brother is not an adult because adults don't need their mom and dad to buy their fiance an engagement ring.

Tell your mom that you will get the ring appraised yourself and then offer to sell it to her if she's willing to pay the appraisal price or something close to it. I agree with the poster who said you will never get the full value for that ring so if you can get your parents to pay you a decent price, then go for it. Then you can smile to yourself that they paid you more than anyone else ever would.

I'm guessing they don't plan on being honest with the fiance in letting her know that she is getting a used stone from a ring that belonged to a marriage that ended in divorce.
anika99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2017, 1:28 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 238
Quote:
Originally Posted by olivetree View Post
I can totally sympathize with you OP.

I have siblings who get everything handed to them too.

Have you ever told your parents how their unequal treatment/favouritism makes you feel?

As a side note, I don't understand how your bf could feel comfortable having your parents not only buy his engagement ring but get the diamonds from you.
A real man buys his own damn ring.


This has nothing to do with my boyfriend. My parents wanted the ring for my brother to give to his girlfriend. Not for my bf to give to me. Of course he wouldn't go for that!
startinganew777 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2017, 6:25 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by startinganew777 View Post
This has nothing to do with my boyfriend. My parents wanted the ring for my brother to give to his girlfriend. Not for my bf to give to me. Of course he wouldn't go for that!

Woops. That was a typo. I totally meant brother, not bf.
olivetree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2017, 2:15 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 56,521
Quote:
Originally Posted by startinganew777 View Post
This has nothing to do with my boyfriend. My parents wanted the ring for my brother to give to his girlfriend. Not for my bf to give to me. Of course he wouldn't go for that!
I highly doubt his gf would appreciate knowing she'd be wearing YOUR ring. WTF. Very dumb idea by your parents.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th January 2017, 12:39 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 238
She would absolutely flip. This girl is a princess. My brother works 3 jobs now so she can stay at home. She is in so much debt because she has to have the best of the best. Designer clothes, brand new expensive furniture and she had my brother buy her a new car recently. I don't know how because they have no money. So yeah, I'm sure she wants some big diamond on her hand because she is all show and mine isn't even close. That and it is used. She would flip her lid. Don't know what my parents were thinking.
startinganew777 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Yesterday, 7:36 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Miss Clavel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 700
oh.hell.no.
__________________
take aim. reload.
Miss Clavel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Trading in your old wedding ring towards your new wedding ring? almostthere Getting Married 1 18th September 2006 6:58 PM
Brother-in-law copying off of younger brother's wedding visitor General Relationship Discussion 10 9th July 2004 5:37 AM
Wedding ring...give it back..save it...agghhh TreeHugger Separation and Divorce 13 20th June 2004 7:00 PM
I'm confused on the wedding ring, Wedding band thing. Which is which? greeniebeenie Getting Married 6 5th November 2003 1:06 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:23 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.