Originally Posted by SerCay
Has any of you had a situation like this before? And what did you do to solve it for yourself? It annoys me and puts tension on my relationship with my family...
I have an elder Sister, she has never married.
She was an international groom [equine] and worked all over Italy. As she earned a pittance and was crap with money my Dad paid her airfares whenever she wanted to return to the UK for holidays.
She was always seeking something and was not good on a social level, although she always had and did what she wanted.
She is a year younger than my eldest brother whom she resented. Whenever in the UK she sought me out, I'm the youngest of five.
She left horses and lived in a commune of a religious cult in Amsterdam for many years before returning to the UK for good living in London.
My Middle Brother who lived there let her stay with him and his family while she got on her feet. She paid no keep, didn't clean up and espoused her cult ideas to his young daughters. This went on for nearly a year and he couldn't wait to get rid of her.
She worked, bought a house with the help of my Dad for some four years.
She was diagnosed with MS so left work but continued body building and had a powerful physique. Sold her house and moved to the middle of nowhere to live near a female cousin on my Mums side.
This cousin has bent over backwards to help her straighten out her finances and live with her condition but gets no thanks and my sister is dismissive of her.
I've been roped in to assist her many times and have put myself out to do so, but always ended up picking up the tab for her meals and my travel costs.
She fleeced my parents for money, satellite TV systems etc and never paid them back. One time she asked my Dad for another considerable sum of Money, my parents drove the two hours to get it to her. She had gone out and they couldn't find her, eventually they had to drive home.
On arrival home she phoned them, offered no apology and asked them to put the money straight in her bank.
When my Dad died I was left to look after my Mother with dementia. My brothers used to come and stay weekends on a rota to give me a break.
I asked my sister to come stay with me and Mum so she could be with her while I went to work, I would do all cooking, cleaning and paying. I ran my own business, sister was physically able but on permanent disability pension. Sister said no and I lost my customers and business. Mum died two years later, I had a difficult time with Mum, being the youngest child and of the wrong gender but we got by.
I could continue to list examples of my sister's rank self centred behaviour but I will spare you.
Only my elder brother deals with her but he lives three hours away and has MS himself.
Now my sister is debilitated and in a care home two and a half hours away from me. My elder brother tries to get me to be more involved with her.
I tell him we each make our own bed and have to live with it.
I have neither the time nor inclination to be hoofing up and down to where she lives. I have not seen or spoken to my sister for four years.
If she had moved to her home town in the first place [where I am] I would do the honourable thing, as it is I don't give her a backward thought.