22nd December 2016, 5:09 PM
Join Date: Dec 2016
Step Grand Children
Hi there...I'm a new poster.
So I've been remarried for a while now and my new husband has two very beautiful grandchildren....both girls.
The problem is that they are also extremely misbehaved and badly parented.
I have two older children...my new husband has 3 and they're all lovely kids. But I'm in my 40s and kids just seemed to be raised differently than they are these days.
The grandchildren are just unbelievably badly behaved. They talk back to adults, they yell, they don't listen, they're annoying, they'll do anything to get attention, etc. They're just very difficult for me to tolerate. I try really hard but I just don't have the patience to deal with someone else's badly behaved kids. There is no way I'd EVER have tolerated my own children behaving this way. Dealing with someone else's kids is just far more difficult.
Right now, its not a real problem because we moved about 4 hours away for the past 2 years and I don't see them often because I work a lot. Generally my husband does visits on his own. We've had them over for sleep overs and its always a nightmare. I honestly love them but I'm always soooo glad when they leave.
The problem is that we're planning to move much closer soon and my husband's daughter will be asking for a lot of babysitting help once we move closer. I just don't know how I'm going to manage it.
My husband is totally understanding. He knows the kids are badly behaved but he also loves them very much and can't manage to say no to his daughter when she wants them to come over. Also he loves them and wants to see them, of course, so I generally suck it up. The last sleep-over was a disaster and I told my husband that once we move, its going to be our rules at our house. But the reality is that its nearly impossible to change the behavior of children when they're parented so badly and have no understanding of basic manners. I've already raised my kids and they are wonderful girls...so tolerating these kids is just really tough. I also know its not their fault...its their parent's fault but that doesn't help when I'm dealing with them.
I also know that if these were my biological grandchildren, I'd pull my daughters aside and have a very candid discussion about how these kids were being raised. But its not my place to do that with my husband's adult daughter.
So bottom line, I'm dreading this once we move and trying to figure out a strategy. Whether its to limit babysitting or some other method.
By the way, the kids "tell on me" when they go home after they've been at our house. They tell their mom that I was mean to them or whatever. The reality is that they're not used to being told to be quiet or that they can't have what they want. Also, if they fight..I take away whatever toy they're fighting over.
Has anyone dealt with something like this? Advice would be great...thank you!