Horrible sister in law, please advise, very angry over this

[heckno]

Hello all,

 

I'm wondering what everyones opinion is on this situation with my in-laws, sister in law to be exact.

 

Some background fist::::

 

My husbands sister (the baby of the family) is being a real beeatch to my husband and I...as a matter of fact she's been that way since day one. She does some really messed up crap because, in my opinion, she has to be the center of attention, and since my husband and I had our child, she's not.

 

Mommy and daddy give her everything, they're not rich, but they do for her almost as if they were. She's very spoiled in my opinion, everything is paid for, car, insurance, food ,rent...etc. When she moved to our city last year, my husband constantly called her to come visit us at our home. She never comes around unless she wants something..typically food or money..or both.

 

She did come to our apartment, twice.. the first time was to stay there while we were on vacation for 3 days (not once did we see her of course) and the 2nd time was to come and do laundry.. (this was right before we were to move and I myself had tons of laundry to do, and she brought her friend so she could do her laundry as well, so I never got around to doing what I needed to do because she took advantage of the situation)

 

So, then we had our baby shower (this was the next time we saw her) and she made her mother, who had already driven almost 3 hours to get here, she made her mother pick her up from her home which was 30 minutes away. So, the mother missed being involved in our shower from the beginning because the daughter didn't want to lose her parking space. Then, she leaves and goes shopping during our baby shower, then, makes the mother take her back home before the shower is even over...This really pissed me off because of the obvious. I wanted my mother in law there for everything, and she ends up missing half my shower because of this girl.

 

Ok..so now we have a child. The sister has completely ignored us until 3 days ago. HER sister said she was coming to town to see our child and help us out for a couple of days. So, here I am..I just had a baby less than 2 weeks ago, and the brat wants to crowd my home as well. I don't want to play host, and I don't want anymore people than needed in my home..i'm EXHAUSTED!! Well, she only wanted to come over all of a sudden because the brats sister spoils her with shopping trips for food and gives her money all of the time. This point was proven that night when she called only to see if the sister could get her some food if she came over... and the next day when we went out..the brat met us at super target, but the brat didn't say one word to us. Not me or my husband (her own brother). As a matter of fact, she rolled her eyes at us, gave us the cold shoulder, and basically was a rude Biatch. The reason she met "us" at super target?? The older sister bought her a ton of food.

 

So, now she's starting sh*t with the family..saying we ignore her, we don't want to her the see the baby, etc. The fact of the matter is, she only comes over OR calls when she wants something. She's lived here for almost a year and we've only seen her when she wanted to do laundry or when the older sister was in town. PRetty sad isnt it? So..

 

How do we deal with this? I mean, do we deal with it at all? I know at the end of the day, her feelings belong to her.. but i'm asking now because I only see this escalating. This child of ours is obviously causing a conflict because it's taking away from her.. but I see her manipulating the parents and sister (mostly because they're extremely co-dependent and coddling) and making my husband and I look like god awful people. When in reality, it's her short comings that are causing the rifts. I just don't know how to deal with her rude attitude..it needs a serious adjustment.

 

I refuse to have my family be ignored and treated extremely badly just because she needs an attitude and character adjustment..please help.

[RecordProducer]

Well she might be a spoiled brat, but you're full of negative energy. This is typical for a woman who just had a baby, but the real reason is usually something else. You're probably mad at your husband for something, but want to hide it from yourself in order to not start a snowball that will disturb your marriage.

This brat doesn't really make your life miserable, she shows up like twice a year. Ignore her or simply put up with it! It's your husband's family. Just like you won't tell his parents or relatives "Oh, you're so stupid!" you won't tell them that they are using you either unless it's really serious. I mean she gets food and money from her brother...so what? You wouldn't mind it if it were you or your sister or your child some day.

You simply hate this girl and whatever she does seems wrong to you. She made you do her laundry ones, big deal! Siblings do favors to each other and that means you can do it once in a while for your husband too. How would you feel if your husband refused to do a little favor for your mom or sister?

If you don't want her in the house these days you can always say that until the baby is so small you don't want too many people walking through the house.

But you sound contradictory; you say she didn't come to see the baby then you say you don't like her in the house. You sound like you don't want her to exist at all. Are you jealous of her perhaps?

[heckno]

wow, you totally didn't even read that post.

 

Negative energy? Absolutely not! No post partum, it's been smooth sailing. Mad at my husband? Wow, from record producer to shrink .. that's not true either.. next??

 

It's not that she only shows up "twice a year"..it's that she's causing a rift between the family with her false accusations, you know, playing martyr..i'm the bad guy, my husband is the bad guy..get it? Her using is very serious, she can go out and buy a 300 dollar toy, but then expects everyone in the family to make up for it by paying for everything she needs for the rest of the month..and if we don't play the game with her, we're automatically the bad people. And, she makes sure we, and the rest of the family, know it..but she falsifies WHY we're the bad guy. Is that clearer for you to understand?

 

She gets nothing from her brother, that's why there's a rift..please read the post.

 

These aren't "Favors" she's expecting, they're livliehoods she DEMANDS and could very well afford on her own if she didn't spend all her money on toys and expect us to pick up the slack. My mother and his mother, well, everyone in the family, we do for eachother..if they need favors, no problem..they don't use us, we give, they give. It's not TAKE TAKE TAKE like this girl.

 

She didn't make us do her laundry, again, you didn't read the post..but taht's ok, your entire response is based on a half scan of what I wrote. She was there for like, 5 hours lady..doing laundry, the day before we had to move..she KNEW this..and brought her friend over as well so she could do her laundry without our approval mind you. LIke, before you move, and you give up your washer and dryer, you don't want to be packing up dirty laundry do you? We made that quite clear to her..and she took advantage of us..needless to say she left at 3am in the morning with her cheap friend, and made me stay up til 8am doing what had to be done....that's no favor, that's her having no brain.

 

 

THere is nothing contradictory about saying I didn't want her in the house for one night..her sister was here and I was exhausted and didnt want to play host. Look, the brats sister lives very far away..she drove to come see the baby.. the brat in question lives down the street from us.. she can come ANYTIME she wants.. it's funny to me the only time she's called to come over (didn't even call US, called the sister) was when the older sister was in town..and the only reason that was, again, was because she needed food and money...again, read the post.

 

Ok, i'd like a response from someone who can read.. thank you.