dogloverof2 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 (edited) At the beginning of this year I decided to leave my job. I told my aging parents that since I will not be working I will be there at their beck and call if and when they need me. Mom is 80ish and dad is late 70's.. At first it was okay. I took mom shopping here and there and cleaned house for them. She always told me when she wanted to go anywhere or what she wanted me to do. Because of her age and all, I was fine with that. I have a sister too. she is younger than me, and she has let it be know to me that she will never have the option to quit working because her and her husband like to spend money and her husband is losing his job in the near future.... She acts like a victim and I think she feeds my parents sob stories about their life so they cant help but want to feel sorry for her. Me on the other hand. Husband and I are savers and want to retire. in a few short years we will be 62. Recently I decided I wanted to move to a coastal community.. My parents have not been wanting me to do anything for them much and I thought that maybe husband and I could relocate and work a few more years and retire. Husband was on board for whatever I wanted to do. I told my parents I wanted to move. and that we were actively looking for a house there...But it might take time to do that since we don't live in the area fulltime. I have a sister here and she can help if necessary and I can get back home in a about 10 hours. My mom exploded on me, telling me that she needs me here and that she didn't think I would really do it and that I was inconveniencing her by wanting to move away. Now I am angry at her for go off on me like she did...and I feel like she is selfish and doesn't think apparently that my sister can handle anything. I understand that they wouldn't want me to go, but also, I have my life too. My sister is where she wants to be. I want to live on the coast, or at least try it. (I am all about trying things in life and failing than never trying at all) Am I wrong to feel this way? Thanks for your opinion.. Edited September 2, 2016 by dogloverof2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Not at all. You have one life to live ultimately. Your parents are living their lives and your sister hers, why can't you get to live yours. Go enjoy the beach, and do so guilt-free! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
robert-zell Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Perhaps the parents are simply afraid of losing you. But at this age need to think about themselves and their children. I think that this is temporary. Perhaps the first time, they will be angry at you, but then everything will work and everyone will understand that it is better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dogloverof2 Posted October 4, 2016 Author Share Posted October 4, 2016 Since my last post here. things are little different between my mom and me. She makes an effort to tell me she loves me now before she hangs up the phone, and has since told my son (not me) that she hopes we find a place to live, where we wanna move.. and that we should go if that's what we want.. I think she is playing a game now..of thinking we won't really go. I hate to feel that way but that is what my gut tells me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 I have a sister here and she can help if necessary and I can get back home in a about 10 hours. My mom exploded on me, telling me that she needs me here and that she didn't think I would really do it and that I was inconveniencing her by wanting to move away. Now I am angry at her for go off on me like she did...and I feel like she is selfish and doesn't think apparently that my sister can handle anything. I understand that they wouldn't want me to go, but also, I have my life too. My sister is where she wants to be. I want to live on the coast, or at least try it. (I am all about trying things in life and failing than never trying at all) Am I wrong to feel this way? Thanks for your opinion.. she's just scared sweetheart, she loves you and you're her favorite. she might get used to it or she might just move next door to you. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight_Madness Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 Since my last post here. things are little different between my mom and me. She makes an effort to tell me she loves me now before she hangs up the phone, and has since told my son (not me) that she hopes we find a place to live, where we wanna move.. and that we should go if that's what we want.. I think she is playing a game now..of thinking we won't really go. I hate to feel that way but that is what my gut tells me.. Hi, I think that your parents have become depend on your help and are scared by the thought of having to do things on their own again. Being extra nice to you and around the idea of you moving away could be a tactic to make you change your mind or she might generally be accepting the idea. Only time will tell. Best of wishes for your future ?. Link to post Share on other sites
Kendalltbt Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 You should live your life as you like. As nobody but you should make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I would look at it like this- say you retired and lived close to your mom to be there in her golden years and one day she and your dad said they were going to move to Montana to be in the mountains. You'd probably be upset they were leaving too. It doesn't sound like she is playing games, she is just hurt and sad you won't be close but wants you to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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